I'm Still Yours - Kutless

This is my new favourite song by Kutless :) "I'm Still Yours"

Awesome lyrical depth, beautiful tune and great vocals.



I'M STILL YOURS
If You washed away my vanity
If You took away my words
If all my world was swept away
Would You be enough for me?
Would my beating heart still sing?

Chorus:
If I lost it all, would my hands stay lifted?
To the God who gives and takes away?
If You take it all, this life You've given
Still my heart will sing to You

When my life is not what I expected
The plans I made have failed
When there's nothing left to steal me away
Will You be enough for me?
Will my broken heart still sing?

Bridge:
Even if You take it all away
You'll never let me go
You take it all away and I still know
That I'm Yours, I'm still Yours
Oh, I'm Yours, I'm still Yours

Takes quite a lot of faith to sing this song. This is the song that Job lived out. I wonder, how many of us Christians will be able to live this out? Will I able to sing this song when tested? Will I able to exhibit the faith that pleases God?

Luke 18:8 "...when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on the Earth?" I pray I'll be one of those He's looking for :)

Well, it's been a great week thus far. Met up with Daryl to catch Twilight Saga: New Moon and met up with my platoon mates on thursday.

L4D2-ed wif my poly friends and had a little guitar session with my zone members on Friday :) Btw, Jonathan Bei & Benjamin are pretty good guitarists too :D

Had a lazy saturday and celebrated my grandma's birthday @ night :) Awesome time with the whole family from my mum's side :D

Tomorrow? Book in -.- sigh...Gotta start loving book ins man...Cos there be countless more book-ins for the next 1 year 9 months...Haha. :) Go Jon! :)

Because the darker the night, the brighter HE can shine!

Met up with my poly besties ytd :) Guess what we did? Play L4D2. HAHA!

I haven't seen Sam since he entered army, so this is what he looks like when he's botak!! :D haha.


Sam & I :)

This song by 33 miles played on my mp3. I haven't heard it for quite some time. The lyrics of Verse 1, Chorus & bridge are pretty ministering...

JESUS CALLING
What do you see when you look at your world today?
Is it so full of clutter that you think you are going insane?
And you can't fight back 'cause you're just too afraid
And it seems like the clouds in your sky aren't gonna change...

You see there's always another story
Another side to every coin
And how you see your circumstance
Is all about a choice

When you see the rushing wind
Feel the pouring rain
Hear the thunder now
As the clouds roll in
You're blinded by the lightning
Can you also hear that still, small voice
Saying "It's ok, you're not alone
You may be scared to death, but I won't let you go"
You may think the sky above is falling
But can you hear Jesus calling?

Because the darker the night, the brighter HE can shine!

Can't wait to get out of Tekong and away from some of my bunkmates...haha. POP LO!! :)

Platoon Outing :)

We, platoon 3, had a little outing yesterday :) It was @ Fish & Co. @ the Glasshouse. Most of our commanders were present and you can try to differentiate them in the group picture...haha.


Me & Jin Sheng :)


Us again :)

These are one of the last few photos I think I'll be taking with him. Cos he's gonna OOT soon. Take care Jin Sheng :) Will miss you :D


All of us :D


Take 2 :)

I Know I'm Filled to Be Empty Again...

It's been a long time since I took a guitar, locked myself in my room & worshipped God for hours and hours. Today was one of 'em.

I was actually reading my EDWJ (Everyday with Jesus) when these 2 verses spoke to me. Psalm 139:23-24 "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

After encountering this verse, I decided to spend some time with God. I sang out the whole Psalm 139 in my own worship tune and I begin to flip my worship files :) haha. Sounds familiar? LOLS.

Anyway, I'm in a pretty dry period of my life now and as I begin to worship, 3 songs spoke to my soul.

You Alone
I'm letting go of all that I know
I'm holding on to You alone
I lay it all down, down here at Your feet
I want You alone
You alone

We humans love to use our intellect to try to understand God. I am only human, trying to understand a transcendent creator. All that's required is faith, for without faith, it is impossible to please God. (Hebrews 11:6)

I'm learning so much about faith. There are 2 levels:
1) Childlike faith. Where we believe in God for everything and God seems to answer all our prayers.
2) Fidelity. Where God withdraws Himself and keeps silent like in Job. That's when your faith is really tested. That's when faith really becomes faith.

All that I want is just God. I need to let go of all my philosophy, all my facts, let go of all that I know and hold on to Jesus alone.

Ready Now
So take my heart, and make it new
Make it true, make it like You
Take my hands, I lift them high
They're Yours not mine to do
Do what You will (x3)

I need to surrender afresh my heart and my hands and see how God unfolds His plan in His perfect time.

Desert Song
This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favour and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be empty again
The seed I've received I will sow

Triumph is still on its way! So firm on His promise I'll stand! I know I'm filled to be empty again, the seed I've received I will sow...

When I think of what lies ahead, it's just so bleak. I can't seem to look beyond the grey skies - Worsening culture in the world and loosening culture in the church. These are what my heart aches to see change. When these change, lives change. Hope overflows. Revival flows. Before all these can change, I must change...

I'm on the way there. Stick with me Jesus :)

SILVER is the new pass! :D

After more than 2 months of training in BMT, I FINALLY achieved a SILVER MEDAL for my IPPT! :) (Individual Physical Proficiency Test, something like NAPFA test)

To attain a silver medal, you have to attain silver standard for ALL your stations; if not, you'll have to retake them all during the next IPPT. This little rule was quite an irritant...

I kept failing my Standing Broad Jump (SBJ) station up till 2 weeks ago; that's when I attained a silver standard for it. Then last week, during my IPPT, it was the first time I jumped a 225cm! Just nice for silver standard. Then guess what? My shuttle run screwed up. -_-" I've never ever screwed up my shuttle run station before......

So my silver medal was delayed to this week :D

And I've went through the MP (Military Police) interview already. As long as you say "yes", you'll almost definitely make it to that vocation because they've taken so much effort to shortlist these bunch of us that meet the MP criterion.

This is a pretty cool & slack vocation to be a part of. :D So even if I don't make it to command school (SISPEC / OCS), I've got a great vocation awaiting me :) Whoo hoo! :D

I'm POP-ing soon! Finally man! I hope I'll overcome my dark cloud of negativity against people and start being myself again in my next posting. STOP JUDGING & EXPECTING THIS & THAT from others and you'll be well-loved everywhere Mr. Lee! As proven through my history of relationships...I shall expound more next time :)

Off to bed now, meeting my dear Daryl tml morning after so long & meeting up wif my platoon mates for dinner @ night. :) Whoo hoo! :D

Pre-POP!

I'm feeling the Pre-POP feeling already. I'm so glad that I'm getting out of Tekong and clearing 3 months of this mandatory phase of life.

Btw, I'm shortlisted to be a Military Police (MP)! :D I hope I pass the interview man. Cos this vocation is pretty slack I heard. No field camps, no road marches? Basically, it's not as bad as other more 'xiong' vocations. Haha

And I'm booking out on Wednesday night this week! :D :) Whoo hoo! We got 4 days off in a row :)

So yup, do ask me out this coming week! :)

L4D TWO!!

I spent the past two nights playing L4D 2 till 1am... -.-" I really wanted to sleep early but the game really kept me from it. HAHA!

Friday after leader's training Joel, Daryl, Melvin, David & I went to play. We played till 1 am then went to Carl's Junior for supper till ard 3am...

Saturday night we went to play L4D2 again till 1am. Haha.

It's really fun. The new weapons and new zombies and new game modes really spices up the gameplay.

I'll be chionging this game for the next few weeks i guess :D HAHA!

Fruit Paradise!

My Saturday afternoon was spent catching up with a friend from Switzerland. We went to Orchard Central and had a lil' sinful afternoon snack @ Fruit Paradise! :) Btw, that friend is Regina & she resides in S'pore...HAHA.

Their tarts look really really impressively mouth watering. But their prices make you cringe. Haha. One of these slices below costs $7.80! But after consumption, the price I must say, is worth it.


Banana Chocolate


Mango

And if you thought that those pictures are taken by me, I'd like to let you know that I'm not paid to advertise for them and I'm no professional photographer. Haha!

Orchard central is really tall building with really nice interior design and shop layouts. Go there with your cameras and you'll find lotsa stuff to camwhore. Their sky gardens and uber long escalators and multiple transparent lifts are camwhorable stuffs..haha.

So yup, as usual, chatting with Regina is great :) One of the few people in church with the heart and the insight. :D

Will keep you in prayer Regina as you head to India for your mission trip this coming week! :) Take care and brighten up the atmosphere over there :D HAHA!

1st Leader's Mtg w/ Ps Daniel

After booking out on Friday night, I rushed to our very first leader's meeting with our very new youth pastor - Ps. Daniel Teo :D

I must say, I do like Ps Daniel's candour and his mild ah-bengish flair. Haha. And he's pretty friendly and easy-going person :) He talks the way I'd talk and we see the same few things that are needed to change in the youth.

First and foremost, the mission and vision of youth alive. Phrased so professionally and linguistically impressive that people don't get what the heck those 2 statements are there for and thus, these statements have just become redundant sentences of denial that we know but don't really believe or live out or even work on it.

Ps Daniel simply asked "What's our Youth Alive mission statement?" and it silenced our leaders. Not just anyone in the youth but our LEADERS. Shows alot eh? Leaders don't know liao, members how? Die lor. And that's the condition of our church for the past few years.

2nd thing he was quite upset about was our time taken to move from our seats to the front during our worship sessions. ME TOO. I always tell my closer leader friends that the time taken for our youth to step forward shows very much our expectations to meet with God.

3rdly, he said something like "If there's anything wrong in the church, it's always the leaders' fault." That's true. But that's not what many of our leaders believe. Some of 'em push blames, give statements or expressions like "So?" etc...

Ok, I shall stop revealing all my blatant observations for the past few years...But the thing is, I feel GLAD that FINALLY someone up there in the leadership post has identified the problems frankly and hopefully is going to do something about it. Cos I've tried doing it for the past 19 years of my life and found that bottom-up approach can never be more effective than top-down approach.

What we need is a culture change. For the culture to change we need to know the truth about Christianity and the heaviness of our responsibility as little Christs. We need to recognise that we can live victoriously! Ok, I myself am not but am working toward that...toward that BIG word called REVIVAL. I'm still learning & praying & breeding my faith...

So yup, jia you Ps Daniel! I'll keep you in prayer :) Hope to work together soon :D

Carl's Junior

I realised I haven't eaten Carl's Junior for all my book outs. So I decided this book shall be the book out I shall feast on those huge, juicy and of course, unhealthy burgers. :D

I met up with my poly best friends Chor Seng & Guang Yao who are now spec cadets :)

Sam & Royston couldn't make it though. Sad. O well, we shall meet again :D


Me & sergeant-to-be-Chor Seng :) haha.


Me & sergeant-to-be-Guang Yao :D haha

We chatted away in army lingo. Pretty boring eh? But that's what our life consists of now. Haha. We shall play LAN soon guys! :) Haha.

See you guys soon :D

Friday The 13th

Some stuffs happened in bunk on this 'cursed' day. Haha. 2 skirmishes erupted in bunk.

1) REC A scolds REC B for bringing back the fake grenade he tossed after our HG (Hand Grenade) Lesson 1.

My verdict: REC A was in a bad mood?

Don't know why he'd want to make a big fuss out of it. Not like he has every right to scold him for it. After all, we're all humans and mistakes occassionally occur, why condemn and make a mountain out of a molehill? His defense was "One day REC B might bring back a real grenade!"

My rebuttal would be "He won't be able to bring back a real grenade cos after throwing it, it'd explode to smitherines."

I didn't say anything during that clash cos I'm too tired of trying to talk to some of my bunkmates. Cos some of 'em are too self-righteous. Well, POP soon liao, I shan't address all these stuffs personally.

2) REC C scolds REC A for pridefully and rudely flinging his stuff aside.

My verdict: I guess Friday the 13th really can be spooky? HAHA!

I don't know why REC A would wanna do something so impertinent. Basic respect should be given at any point in relational exchanges. Although REC A might have his personal reasons to do so, it still does not justify his actions - He could have talked it out with REC C.

So yeah, I personally like REC A though. He's a nice, friendly and jovial guy. Don't know what went wrong that day. Haha.

But yeah, sometimes we humans love to receive grace and mercy but don't like to extend it to others, condemning each other over such trivial mistakes. I wonder, what will the condemner feel if the same were done back to the one who throws the condemnation?

Empathy is a great lack in self-righteous people too. My platoon's got a few "red indian chiefs" (as quoted by KC) that always commands here and there, shouting here and there but in the end, how much does YOUR shouting help?

Granted, out of your "enthusiasm" you blurted it out. Then, you should apologise & explain yourself personally to the person you've shouted at to prevent hurt and bitterness. Furthermore, What fuels your "enthusiasm" that you must shout & demand? Fear of getting tekan-ed? Impatience?

Your shouting has to come from a established relationship w/ the person if not, you'll just be a anal, loud, selfish yeller to that person you're shouting at.

Bunch of shallow, selfish wayang-ers. Haha. Pardon my blatant revelation. But leaders inspire people to do things right, not shout at them to do things right. I pity those that have to mingle around them.

For me, I've built a wall of immunity. A wall that distances myself from them. So they may think I'm blur or wadsoeva, cos I sometimes do act blur, but in actual fact, I've cut them out. Not totally though, (I never fully cut people off) I still smile and talk nicely to them :)

O well, I'm POPPING in 3 weeks time! Whoo hoo! I hope I'll be much more of myself in my next posting man! Go Jonavan! :D

Situational Test

For the benefit of the non-NSFs, sit test is where they assess your leadership potential and decide whether you go to command school - OCS or SISPEC.

I was in detail INDIA! Wow. God is speaking to me...HAHA. Whatever.

I think I faired below average for the sit test because I was only the IC once and I talked pretty little but was helping around here and there.

So I don't know if I'll enter command school. Haha. O well, it's all planned right? Haha.

Overall, sit test has been pretty fun and the situations they give are kinda lame. I'm pretty tired now so got nothing much to say about it...

O YA, thank God that although it rained twice, my detail was already in shelter when it rained! Whoo hoo! We were the first detail to finish the sit test btw, and we finished like 2-3 hours earlier. Thank God! :) haha.

Field Camp! - Lessons Learnt

The greatest nightmare of every recruits' stay in BMT is FINALLY OVER for me! :D 6 days out in the jungle was actually pretty ok for me. Because, I expected worse.

Firstly I really, really want to thank God that through the 6 days, it only rained on the LAST NIGHT!! If it rains, you and your equipment will be all wet and you'll have to sleep in that wet condition. It rained on the last night so we were turned out and moved to the nearest training shed all dripping and drenched with rain water. We were then told to sleep....Imagine ~250 people squashed together soaking wet with hardly any leg space, sleeping.

Next I really, really want to thank God and the scientists who invented the field rations because I did not EXCRETE anything throughout the 6 days! HAHAHAHA! Shitting outfield is really disgusting. Thank God I didn't have any big nature call!! Haha.

Yup, here are some of the stuff I learnt :)

1) What I considered to be a mere commodity became a luxury. And what I considered a luxury became a dream! I learnt to appreciate the little things we have but always take for granted. The main commodities that were removed during field camp were:

> Taking a shower. We had to powder bath for 6 days straight!! O the refreshing sound of CLEAN water rushing down your sweaty body at the end of the day...Haha. That went missing.

> Sleeping on a nice, soft bed. We slept on ground sheets in the basha for the 1st 3 days and on the hard ground for the last 3! Ok, other than just sleeping on the ground, we actually were sleeping on the insects' homes and roads. One of my friends actually got stung by a centipede!! He survived it. Thank God.

> Brushing your teeth with an endless stream of water flowing out of the tap's faucet. No one bothered to brush their teeth as it was too lay chey and too dark at night...

> Doing your business in a toilet bowl. Yes this privilege was removed too! We had to do our stuffs in a hole in the ground.....I shan't elaborate. HAHAHA!

2) What endurance and willpower meant. We had a 8km++ road march before our field camp. For you guys who don't know what's road march, we have to march 8km++ in FBO - Full Battle Order.

This means we carry 25-30kg worth of stuffs on our backs - Our rifle [4kg], our LBV (Load Bearing Vest) with water bag, & water bottle [~8kg] and lastly, our Fieldpack with RATIONS and store items! [~2okg] for 8km. Ok it's our first time so it's pretty tough. The road march, by the way, left me with a few blisters on my toes... -.-"

But after our road march, our whole company have to set up our basha tents in like 15mins - meaning all the tents are neatly aligned. My company by the way has about 250 people.

This is the first heavier test of my endurance & will power. And guess what? This is nothing compared to digging our shell scrape. -_-"

We have to dig a hole in the ground with 2 steps down to fit our whole body lying flat (prone position) and a deep hole in the back to fit our fieldpack in without it jutting out.

This was the worst part of the whole field camp. Firstly because we have to dig the trench in SBO (Skeletal/Standard Battle Order) with our LBVs, HELMETS and rifles on...The helmet really is a pain in the head. Haha!

After hacking the ground for like 3-4 hours straight and seeing that all you have is a-little-out-of-shape-rectangle with so little depth really demoralises me. If you think digging out soil is easy, think again. A few guys in my company fainted. 1 guy came from my platoon.

To pass the shellscrape, you have to prone (lie flat) in it with only your rifle scope and abit of your helmet sticking out of the hole in the ground.

Cut the story short, I had tons of blisters on my hands, litres of my sweat absorbed into my uniform and LBV and we took like 10 hours spread out across 2 days of activities to finish our digging.

I PASSED the shell scrape test! Thanks to some of my bunkmates who helped me like Sebastian, Jorge, Nelson & Chee Eng :) who helped here and there. :D

The shell scrape was the ultimate test of endurance and willpower for me. So many times I just felt like giving up. And that was the time I really felt what the Bangladeshi construction workers felt man. HAHA! Digging in the hot sun with ~8kg of equipment on you is no joke.

These are the main stuffs I took home. As for what else we did there and all, ask me and you'll know a bit more, go through it and you'll become a man. :)

Jeremy's 21st Birthday Party :D

I know I'm 1 week slow...but I hardly have time to use my com...Book out times are tight.

So here are some of the nice pictures we took @ Jeremy's 21st birthday party! It was exactly after I booked out from field camp :D haha...


Jeremy, Me & Abi :)


Jeremy, Anna & I :)


Xiao Hua, Joella, Jon Wee, Leb, Jeremy & me :D


Gabriel, Abi & Me :D


Jeremy, Me & Chris :D


Anna, Abi, Jeremy, Meryl & Myself :)

It was a pretty cool 21st party, just that we didn't really interact much with Jeremy's other guests.

I simply sat down with Jon Wee, Xiao Hua & Joella and blabbered all about what SAF had thrown to us conscripts. Haha.

Yining was like "JONAVAN! (Stop your army talk!)" the words in brackets were in her brain. HAHA! She merely called my name in a pek chek manner...HAHA!

So yup, I know, I finished this blog post 1 week after...haha. Anyway, Happy Birthday Jeremy! :) It's been great having you as a close friend of mine :D