MIND BLOWN.
Friday, 6 December 2013
Heartwarming video of a predator protecting its prey
Unprecedented show of love. A hyena sacrificing her meal to take care of the orphaned baboon? Really amazing. Worth the watch. Guaranteed to make you go "AWWWW". Haha.
Tuesday, 19 November 2013
How to live life
Had to take a minute off my study to post this. Saw this off quickmeme.com and I fell in love with the quote and illustration. Enjoy and let your mind feast on this morsel of thought :)
"When you were born you were crying and everyone else is smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone else is crying."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Top 5 deathbed regrets
Read this off a Facebook post by one of my friends. Thought it to be rather thought provoking. It's about a nurse who works in palliative care who gets to hear the dying man/woman's greatest regret in life. This is the URL to the article http://www.karenstan.net/2013/11/11/nurse-reveals-top-5-regrets-people-make-deathbed/
But to make it easier for you and me, I pasted the whole essay here for convenient perusal. Yup, hope this speaks to you one way or another :)
In the end, what matters is your walk with God and how you have loved others. So simple right? When you are walking right with God, you will naturally walk right with others and love them not out of your own mortal, imperfect efforts and flawed definitions of love, but you'll be a channel of God's perfect love into their lives.
So, if these are the things that matter, then why not take a look around? What is the whole of mankind chasing after? Fame? Fortune? Success? It's not wrong to chase those things. But once we lose ourselves and what life really is while chasing those things...then...we'll be making those wishes on our deathbeds too.
Got reminded of this old saying which I always tell my friends:
But to make it easier for you and me, I pasted the whole essay here for convenient perusal. Yup, hope this speaks to you one way or another :)
"For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives. People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality.
I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.
When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.
2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Manydeveloped illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way,you win.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.The pain in those two words "I wish" for all 5 regrets is piercing. Hope you'll stop wishing henceforth and begin to be true to yourself, cherish the people around you and love everyone whom God sends into your life :)
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying."
In the end, what matters is your walk with God and how you have loved others. So simple right? When you are walking right with God, you will naturally walk right with others and love them not out of your own mortal, imperfect efforts and flawed definitions of love, but you'll be a channel of God's perfect love into their lives.
So, if these are the things that matter, then why not take a look around? What is the whole of mankind chasing after? Fame? Fortune? Success? It's not wrong to chase those things. But once we lose ourselves and what life really is while chasing those things...then...we'll be making those wishes on our deathbeds too.
Got reminded of this old saying which I always tell my friends:
"If you don't worship God, you'll end up worshipping money, status, fame, success and everything else that will leave you empty when you are lying on your deathbed...if you get the chance to lie on one."
Yup, lemme leave you with this passage of scripture:
1 John 2:15-17
[15] Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. [16] For everything in the world – the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life – comes not from the Father but from the world. [17] The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives for ever.
Sunday, 17 November 2013
Recreating childhood photos
This is too good not to share. The mixed emotions of plain, flat-out "LOL!" to tender, touching "awwww...." while seeing how the kids grow up, how the parents age and how people inevitably move on and grow up and grow old is a really beautiful scene.
Yup, enjoy scrolling through this awesome collection of childhood to adulthood photos.
http://anygag.com/2013/11/12/photos/1384226433/
Yup, enjoy scrolling through this awesome collection of childhood to adulthood photos.
http://anygag.com/2013/11/12/photos/1384226433/
Wednesday, 30 October 2013
A new perspective for moms
Saw this shared on Facebook. Fantastic mini documentary. Elevation Church did a little interview with mums and asked them to "describe yourself as a mother".
Several days later, the mums were called back and asked to watch a video of what THEIR OWN KIDS have to say of them.
This brought some of them to tears. Have a lil' look at this video and hope it helps you to appreciate your mum better :)
A New Perspective For Moms
from Elevation Church on Vimeo.
Several days later, the mums were called back and asked to watch a video of what THEIR OWN KIDS have to say of them.
This brought some of them to tears. Have a lil' look at this video and hope it helps you to appreciate your mum better :)
A New Perspective For Moms
from Elevation Church on Vimeo.
NTU hall raids
Read this article on NTU students getting upset over the early morning spot checks in NTU halls of residences. These raids are meant to weed out subletters, illegal squatters (like me) and extirpate room profiteering.
Here's the article: http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/singaporeseen/this-urban-jungle/ntu-undergrads-upset-over-early-morning-spot-checks
Yes, I was an illegal squatter. During this raiding period, I also slept over at a 24 hour study area at the School of Material Sciences & Engineering (MSE) E-space for fear of getting my 2 friends who kindly let me squat get evicted.
The fantastic thing about MSE E-space is, it has FREE HOT BEVERAGES! :D They have an array of different drinks from Hazelnut coffee to hot chocolate to jasmine green tea packets.
You put those in the drink-making machine and whoa-lah, you get your hot drink - TOTALLY FREE! LOL. They even have board games, magazines and TV in the Relax & Recreation room! #winner
So yeah, I spent the night there...not alone...but with MANY others who were avoiding the hall raids as well! Haha! Here are a few pictures of our lil' awesome stay at MSE E-space :D
Thanks to Wei Kit & Xuan Ren, I manage to get in to this 24 hour study facility :D So thanks a million! :D Haha!
Yes, MSE E-space is strictly for MSE students. Only MSE students' matric card can tap open the room's door. Haha.
And the reason for my heart-shape pose...is to everyone who sees the picture know that their love is still blossoming..HAHAHAHA! :D
Yes, Beth also came over with her 2 friends. They were armed with sleeping bags and jackets...haha! There were a couple of other illegal squatters too which we didn't cam whore with. Haha.
As it got kinda boring, Xuan Ren got kinda interesting. I was viewing the Impresario webpage and it showed this performer and she was like "EHH, YOU LOOK LIKE HIM LEH!!"
She then asked me to pose and after a few photo edits, this is the LOL-ROFL quite-look-alike outcome...haha!
So yeah, our night was spent there. I tried to sleep in the SUPER COLD ROOM and only managed to squeeze 1 to 2 hours of sleep before freezing. Haha!
So I got up and got out to thaw and soon, it was lesson time :D LOL. Had a nice breakfast at Canteen A before fighting the day with only like 2 hours of sleep? Haha.
While others were complaining about hall raids, we were actually quite enjoying ourselves having this lil' sleepover at MSE E-space. Haha!
So, RAID ALL YOU WANT HALL OFFICERS! WE'LL FIND A WAY ROUND IT! :D Haha.
Here's the article: http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/singaporeseen/this-urban-jungle/ntu-undergrads-upset-over-early-morning-spot-checks
Yes, I was an illegal squatter. During this raiding period, I also slept over at a 24 hour study area at the School of Material Sciences & Engineering (MSE) E-space for fear of getting my 2 friends who kindly let me squat get evicted.
The fantastic thing about MSE E-space is, it has FREE HOT BEVERAGES! :D They have an array of different drinks from Hazelnut coffee to hot chocolate to jasmine green tea packets.
You put those in the drink-making machine and whoa-lah, you get your hot drink - TOTALLY FREE! LOL. They even have board games, magazines and TV in the Relax & Recreation room! #winner
So yeah, I spent the night there...not alone...but with MANY others who were avoiding the hall raids as well! Haha! Here are a few pictures of our lil' awesome stay at MSE E-space :D
 |
| Wei Kit, Me & Xuan Ren :D |
Yes, MSE E-space is strictly for MSE students. Only MSE students' matric card can tap open the room's door. Haha.
And the reason for my heart-shape pose...is to everyone who sees the picture know that their love is still blossoming..HAHAHAHA! :D
 |
| More illegal squatters camping at E-space! :D |
As it got kinda boring, Xuan Ren got kinda interesting. I was viewing the Impresario webpage and it showed this performer and she was like "EHH, YOU LOOK LIKE HIM LEH!!"
She then asked me to pose and after a few photo edits, this is the LOL-ROFL quite-look-alike outcome...haha!
 |
| Me VS Impresario performer :D |
So I got up and got out to thaw and soon, it was lesson time :D LOL. Had a nice breakfast at Canteen A before fighting the day with only like 2 hours of sleep? Haha.
While others were complaining about hall raids, we were actually quite enjoying ourselves having this lil' sleepover at MSE E-space. Haha!
So, RAID ALL YOU WANT HALL OFFICERS! WE'LL FIND A WAY ROUND IT! :D Haha.
Tuesday, 29 October 2013
When we love the least of these
This song totally captured me recently. It's called "Kings & Queens" by Audio Adrenaline. The songs paints a powerful picture of the potential of people and what they can be when we love them.
Woven together with a catchy tune and a contemporary rock/pop song writing style, this song speaks a truth really powerful.
The chorus goes:
You were walking on the moon, now you're feeling low
What they said wasn't true, you're beautiful
Sticks and stones break your bones, I know what you're feeling
Words like those won't steal your glow, you're one in a million
Chorus:
This, this is for all the girls, and boys all over the world
Whatever you've been told, you're worth more than gold
So hold your head up high, it's your time to shine
From the inside it shows, you're worth more than gold
(gold gold, you're gold)
You're worth more than gold
(gold gold you're gold)
Well everybody keeps score, afraid you're gonna lose
Just ignore they don't know the real you
All the rain in the sky can't put out your fire
Of all the stars out tonight, you shine brighter
So don't let anybody tell you that you're not loved
And don't let anybody tell you that you're not enough
Yeah there are days that we all feel like we are messed up
But the truth is that we're all diamonds in the rough
So don't be ashamed to wear your crown
You're a king you're a queen inside and out
You glow like the moon, you shine like the stars
This is for you, wherever you are
Woven together with a catchy tune and a contemporary rock/pop song writing style, this song speaks a truth really powerful.
The chorus goes:
Boys become kings, girls will be queens
Wrapped in Your majesty
When we love, when we love the least of these
Then they will be brave and free
Shout your name in victory
When we love, when we love the least of these
When we love the least of these
Here's the lyric video of the song. I spent a good 10 minutes finding a lyric video that has the CORRECT LYRICS. So yeah, this is a good lyric video with the correct lyrics and free of grammatical error.
Other lyric videos spell "their" as "there" and "to grieve" as "too brief". I think no effort was put in for the other lyric videos...or the one who made it have an atrocious command of English.
Ok, enough of the grammar-Nazi syndrome...haha! Enjoy this fantastic song put together by Audio Adrenaline :D
The most powerful part of the song is the chorus. It says "boys become kings", "girls will be queens". And this not only apply to boys and girls; but also to everyone around us. Everyone is learning, growing and walking toward their destinies.
The thing is, how often do we view others as potential kings and queens? We view our friends, families and loved ones through our tainted lens of judgement, only seeing their flaws and imperfections AT PRESENT.
How often do we stop to think and realize that, hey, this friend of mine could be the future prime minister, a future CEO, a champion for human rights, an inventor that'll change the world, a heroic father, an understanding mother, a hardworking employee that will see a company through tough times, etc...
All we see is the broken present and don't speak into their future or love them FOR WHO THEY WILL BECOME.
And with that short-sighted mentality deeply ingrained in our numskulls, we live life never appreciating people for all they were created to be.
This results in broken hearts, delusion-ed people who think they'll never make it, self-esteemLESS people who think they're not good enough, suicidal individuals who think there is no hope, no purpose, no future for their meager existence, cynical individuals who believe that everyone is out there to judge them, etc...
But, WHEN WE LOVE THE LEAST OF THESE.......It all changes.
When we love people with a vision of who they were made to be, we will treat them different. We will understand that they are still growing up, learning and on their way to becoming that history-maker within their sphere of influence.
You don't know how many people are broken and have no inherent belief in themselves that they were made for so much more.
In my many talks with friends, I discover and uncover all these low self-esteem tendencies and mindsets beneath their cheerful, confident exterior.
So two things I wanna leave with you:
1) When we love the least of these - our friends, family and loved ones - in light of their God-given potential, the world would be a much better place.
Before getting angry, judging or replying a person, ask yourself, "How would I reply him/her if he/she would be the next Steve Jobs, Warren Buffet, Mother Theresa, etc..."
2) You are worth it. Don't let anyone tell you that you're not. I randomly tweeted this to a friend recently and thought I should share it with you.
Sorry Suyi I didn't ask your permission to post this...Haha! But citing the fact that you tweeted it in public social media, me re-posting this shouldn't violate your privacy right? :D
Yup, so YOU'RE MADE FOR A PURPOSE!
God didn't just package all these wonderful skills and talents into you and decide to randomly place you, out of the infinite-ness of time, in the 21st century, year 2013, for nothing! He did that because He wanted to give you a chance to live out His design and purpose for you in this cosmic storybook called life.
If you ever feel worthless, emo, lousy, purposeless, useless and redundant, lemme tell you, you're worth more than GOLD!
Or rather, let Britt Nicole tell you through her awesome song "Gold". Let the lyrics speak deep into your spirit that you're worth it :)
Especially love the lyric in her lil' singing-rap part of the song:
But the truth is that we're all diamonds in the rough
So don't be ashamed to wear your crown
You're a king you're a queen inside and out
Yup, enjoy the song. Lyrics below the YouTube video link :D
Gold
By Britt Nicole
What they said wasn't true, you're beautiful
Sticks and stones break your bones, I know what you're feeling
Words like those won't steal your glow, you're one in a million
Chorus:
This, this is for all the girls, and boys all over the world
Whatever you've been told, you're worth more than gold
So hold your head up high, it's your time to shine
From the inside it shows, you're worth more than gold
(gold gold, you're gold)
You're worth more than gold
(gold gold you're gold)
Well everybody keeps score, afraid you're gonna lose
Just ignore they don't know the real you
All the rain in the sky can't put out your fire
Of all the stars out tonight, you shine brighter
So don't let anybody tell you that you're not loved
And don't let anybody tell you that you're not enough
Yeah there are days that we all feel like we are messed up
But the truth is that we're all diamonds in the rough
So don't be ashamed to wear your crown
You're a king you're a queen inside and out
You glow like the moon, you shine like the stars
This is for you, wherever you are
Thursday, 24 October 2013
Ashley Madison "Life is short, have an affair"
My dad emailed me this link talking about a Canada-based website which works like a match-making site — except it is targeted at married couples. Check it out: http://sg.news.yahoo.com/ashley-madison-160451322.html and http://www.breakfastnetwork.sg/?p=8438
It's saddening to hear of its apparent success: "Ashley Madison boasts users from all over the world, from countries such as Mexico, Hong Kong, Brazil and Spain. The site is ranked among the top 2,000 sites in the US."
Their slogan?
"Life is short, have an affair"
It's saddening to hear of its apparent success: "Ashley Madison boasts users from all over the world, from countries such as Mexico, Hong Kong, Brazil and Spain. The site is ranked among the top 2,000 sites in the US."
A company set up to facilitate adulterous dates amongst the married? Wow. It's totally promoting and helping people to have an affair.
One of the most immoral, legal companies I've ever heard of being established.
As captioned in my Facebook post, "Welcome to the 21st century peeps. Where it's all about selfish, frivolous & moral-less #YOLO"
Watch as our depraved, decadent society crumbles under the new world philosophy of nihilism, hedonism, me-ism and self-made spiritualism.
The good Lord's footsteps are getting louder. The clang of heaven's keys in God's hands is getting louder as He nears the door of heaven to pay a visit to Earth for a second time - The Second Coming.
Yep. Just one of the many signs that is telling us...time is short...Lemme leave you with this passage of Scripture that popped into my head as I was typing...
Ephesians 5:15-21 (NKJV)
"See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another in the fear of God."
"See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another in the fear of God."
Monday, 21 October 2013
Lalah Hathaway singing chords / intervals
Chanced upon this video that appeared on my Facebook page. It features an astounding R&B and jazz singer Lalah Hathaway.
The song is totally erratic. This song does not subscribe to any key (like any jazz song). Just go through a few phrases of the song and you will see a few key changes. On top of that, the chromatic note and chord progressions also make the song really hard to sing and play.
But yeah, she pulls it off beautifully in sort of a "live" setting.
The most amazing part is when she sings intervals. She sung out what sounded like chords!! Seek the video to 6:10 and hear her vocal expulsion. It's a harmony coming out, not a single note!
That was MIND-BLOWING. It's my first time encountering a singer singing two notes simultaneously! I went to YouTube more of such videos and then realized that it isn't all too unique. But yeah, packed in this song are fantastic arrangements and it really climaxed at her display of singing out a chord or an interval.
Amazing vocal prowess. Here's the video. Listen to the whole song to get the feel of its intricacy or seek to 6:10 and be stupefied by her sheer control and technique.
The song is totally erratic. This song does not subscribe to any key (like any jazz song). Just go through a few phrases of the song and you will see a few key changes. On top of that, the chromatic note and chord progressions also make the song really hard to sing and play.
But yeah, she pulls it off beautifully in sort of a "live" setting.
The most amazing part is when she sings intervals. She sung out what sounded like chords!! Seek the video to 6:10 and hear her vocal expulsion. It's a harmony coming out, not a single note!
That was MIND-BLOWING. It's my first time encountering a singer singing two notes simultaneously! I went to YouTube more of such videos and then realized that it isn't all too unique. But yeah, packed in this song are fantastic arrangements and it really climaxed at her display of singing out a chord or an interval.
Amazing vocal prowess. Here's the video. Listen to the whole song to get the feel of its intricacy or seek to 6:10 and be stupefied by her sheer control and technique.
Sunday, 20 October 2013
You're all You say You are
It was another Saturday. It was another service. It was another day. But, today, 2 truths were illuminated brightly in my spirit during service.
1) The first was during worship while we were singing "You Are Holy". A fantastic song written by a worship song legend - Matt Redman. From his song lyrics, you know he's a true worshipper. Here's the YouTube lyric video of the song.
The song states in the bridge:
One classic example is found in the Bible.
Matthew 26:33 "Peter answered and said to Him, “Even if all are made to stumble because of You, I will never be made to stumble.”
Matthew 26:35 "Peter said to Him, “Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You!”
Guess what happened next?
Luke 22:57 "But he denied it, saying, “Woman, I do not know him.”
Peter's impassioned discourse of standing by Jesus till death was shattered to smithereens when the rooster crowed three times.
1) The first was during worship while we were singing "You Are Holy". A fantastic song written by a worship song legend - Matt Redman. From his song lyrics, you know he's a true worshipper. Here's the YouTube lyric video of the song.
The song states in the bridge:
Who shall we say You are?
You're the living God
Who shall we say You are?
You're the Great I AM
The highest name of all
You're all You say You are
The truth in the last line of the bridge suddenly spoke to me as I was pondering on the lyrics of the bridge. My first thought as my mind skimmed through the lyrics was "That line sounds really idiotic - You're all You say You are...Like duh?"
The bridge asks "Who shall we say You are?" and the answer is "You're all You say You are." I mean, think about it...If someone asks you to introduce your friend and you say "He is all he say he is." It's such a lame rhetoric...Like YOU DON'T SAY...Haha.
But it suddenly dawned on me that...usually what we say we are, is not actually who we are. Who we think we are is never who we really are.
Matthew 26:33 "Peter answered and said to Him, “Even if all are made to stumble because of You, I will never be made to stumble.”
Matthew 26:35 "Peter said to Him, “Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You!”
Guess what happened next?
Luke 22:57 "But he denied it, saying, “Woman, I do not know him.”
Peter's impassioned discourse of standing by Jesus till death was shattered to smithereens when the rooster crowed three times.
Why did Peter weep bitterly thereafter?
Because the man he thought and said he was, isn't the man he really is.
It dawned on me that for all of us, who we sincerely say we are, is never all that we actually are. Because what we think of ourselves is only based on our imperfect, flawed and fallen mind.
No one else's description of themselves are timelessly true and perfectly accurate because we don't know who we are exhaustively.
That's why there are sayings that go "discover yourselves", "venture out and find yourselves", "learn more about yourself" etc...It goes to show that we only know ourselves by experiment and experience. WE DO NOT TRULY KNOW WHO WE ARE!
We need circumstances to reveal us and show our character. And who we say we are is only based on what we think we have discovered of ourselves THUS FAR.
Only God truly knows who we are - past, present, future tense - because He crafted us and designed us. So, God is the only One who has the prerogative, authority and right to say that He is ALL THAT HE SAYS HE IS.
Thus, the lyrics suddenly took on a whole new meaning. I realized that yes, God is the only One that is ALL THAT HE SAYS HE IS.
The lyric suddenly held a weight; a revelatory weight. I began to see that God's words are infallible, perfect and timelessly true as opposed to our biased, flawed and fallacious flare of words.
Thus, the lyrics suddenly took on a whole new meaning. I realized that yes, God is the only One that is ALL THAT HE SAYS HE IS.
The lyric suddenly held a weight; a revelatory weight. I began to see that God's words are infallible, perfect and timelessly true as opposed to our biased, flawed and fallacious flare of words.
2) The second thing that really hit me was when Ps How was describing the church with these words:
The church is not an organization; It is an organism
It really hit me. The church is a living, breathing, kicking, squirming, moving, changing, growing organism! It is the body of Christ!
It is not just a gathering of like-minded people who believe in Jesus Christ but a union of Jesus-followers committed to loving each other as a body of Christ for better or for worse.
WE ARE THE BODY OF CHRIST, A BODY, AN ORGANISM! When one part of the body suffers, the whole body suffers. (1 Corinthians 12:26-27)
I, for one, am a very individualistic Christian. I belong to no Church; I belong to the Church of Christ. So whichever Church that preaches and lives out Christ in the most effective, inspiring and relevant way has my support.
But no, God calls us to be committed to a church, to be devoted to it for better, or for worse. So yeah, still got a lot of debates and thoughts going through my mind about this.
But for now, it is an awesome statement that packs a load of truth in it. The church is an organism, not an organization.
Yup, these are the 2 biggest takeaways for me today :) Glad that God is using Heart of God church to mould me and change me like it is doing for many other members of this body :)
May God's hand and favour ever be upon this church and its leadership as He uses it for His glory in the last days :)
Tuesday, 15 October 2013
Reading until orgasm
Chanced upon this highly controversial yet interesting project called "Hysterical Literature: The Orgasm as an art" carried out by photographer Clayton Cubitt.
So orgasm is now an art? Wow. The definition and boundaries of art are sure being stretched. Haha. As controversial as it may be, whatever was captured on film was raw, sexy, titillating and beautiful. Their reactions are bound to make you smile and giggle along with them.
The author of this post on www.criminalwisdom.com also quipped "The results are an intimate, sexy experience that captures a beauty rarely found in most modern pornography."
Here's how this contentious experiment was carried out:
He takes a woman, gets her to read a book while another project mate of Cubitt's, hides under the table and uses a vibrator to bring the woman reading the book to orgasm.
Their reactions? See for yourself. Link below.
http://www.criminalwisdom.com/hysterical-literature-the-orgasm-as-art/
So orgasm is now an art? Wow. The definition and boundaries of art are sure being stretched. Haha. As controversial as it may be, whatever was captured on film was raw, sexy, titillating and beautiful. Their reactions are bound to make you smile and giggle along with them.
The author of this post on www.criminalwisdom.com also quipped "The results are an intimate, sexy experience that captures a beauty rarely found in most modern pornography."
Here's how this contentious experiment was carried out:
He takes a woman, gets her to read a book while another project mate of Cubitt's, hides under the table and uses a vibrator to bring the woman reading the book to orgasm.
Their reactions? See for yourself. Link below.
http://www.criminalwisdom.com/hysterical-literature-the-orgasm-as-art/
Monday, 14 October 2013
Why you are unhappy about National Service
Read this off the website www.therealsingapore.com, URL link here: http://therealsingapore.com/content/why-you-are-unhappy-about-serving-national-service
I tend to agree with this author's opinion on the influx of sponsored scholars from mainly China and other countries. Why bring in such a huge proportion of them, pay for their education when their heart is in their homeland, not ours?
Thus, we Singaporean guys serving NS are actually serving to protect these foreigners, the author muses. And I somewhat agree. Here's the article, copied wholesale from the source mentioned above...PLAGIARISM!! LOL :D
"The issue with National Service (NS) has never been about its duration of two years or two years six months, or about the frequency of the In-Camp Trainings (ICT), or about the annual Individual Physical Proficiency Test (IPPT). Nor is it about it being unfair to Singaporean men.
The crux of the issue is that a growing number of Singaporeans are feeling deliberately excluded from Singapore's prosperity. And they using NS to vent their frustrations.
You are a Singaporean male. You did your two years of NS. When you enter a tertiary institution, you discover that a majority of the students there are not Singaporeans. Many of them are on scholarships paid for by our local tax payers, while your parents had to scrimp, save and maybe take a loan to pay for your educations. And you had to survive two years of NS without getting killed, or injured or maimed before you earned the right to take a loan to pay for your university fees. And thousands of foreigners who don't have to do NS get a free ride. It sucks to be you.
You worked hard, and you finally graduated. You now try to find a job. You find it tough, because many of the hiring managers are foreigners. And despite their public claims that they hire on merit, it turns out that most of them prefer to hire their own kind. If they hire locals, they usually mean Permanent Residents (PR) and not Singapore citizens, especially those who still have ICT obligations. Your friends who found jobs in the Civil Service don't mind ICT, since it doesn't affect their career prospects in the slightest. You try to complain, but most Singaporeans say 'whatever.' They really couldn't care less if you drown in your own puddle of blood. They think this only happens to other Singaporeans. They usually wake up their ideas when they find themselves driving taxis and working as security guards, missing the days when they were once hot shots in their industry.
Eventually, you found a job. You worked hard, neglected your health and family for the job. And you still got fired anyway simply because the new manager is a foreigner, and wants to bring in his own buddies. It is easy to do so, since firing a citizen doesn't break any labour laws, and MOM doesn't have a reputation of taking stern and decisive action against foreigners who hire their own kind. I have yet to read of such foreigners being sent packing back to their home countries. When caught with blatant discriminatory practices, foreigners simply shrug their shoulders and say 'Oops. Typo mistake. Won't do it again.' No foreign hiring manager will be fired.
So, while Singapore prospers, you find yourself increasingly shut out of its wealth. You discovered the hard way that the real reason you did NS, and why your son has to do NS, is to provide a safe and secure environment for foreigners to hire their own kind and exclude Singaporeans from good jobs. Maybe the foreigners will try to meet the Singaporean quota by restricting lower entry jobs to Singaporeans only. But the good stuff will be kept exclusively for their own kind. Not by merit, but by race and nationality and maybe even caste.
You try to complain to MOM. But this is a non-issue. Why should it be an issue? The foreigner who replaced you will pay taxes too. The minister in charge knows the chances of his party losing the elections is very low. So, he and his team of civil servants will continue to draw their good salaries. Aljunied GRC? Punggol-East? Who cares? Nearly everyone else won. And a bad election result for the party is still the best result anywhere in the world of democratic elections. A win of 67% is considered a landslide win by any standards. Tough luck on those unlucky losers who were in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Next time you want to complain about NS, get straight to the point. It isn't about men versus women. It isn't about Singaporeans versus foreigners. There were foreigners too back in the 1970s and 1980s. But back in those days, after you did your NS and ICT, your job was still safe. There were many good jobs around for Singaporeans.
Now, there aren't. They are mostly reserved for foreigners and their kind. You fear going back for ICT because by the time you got back, your job may be gone. Your annual disappearing act might give the foreign manager a stronger reason to either fire you or no longer hire Singaporeans with NS obligations. There are many ways to do so and get away clean.
Sure, the recruitment ads will now be mostly free from discriminatory practice. And the companies will have to advertise through a government recruitment portal. But you and I know the HR people will only politely
collect your CV but still tell you to go fuck yourself because you are a Singaporean. Worse still, if you are a Singaporean male burdened by NS obligations.
There are many ways to present good paperwork on why Singaporean male graduates from the top local universities in Singapore are less qualified than foreign candidate from some unaccredited or lowly ranked universities from Third World countries. And there is a high chance the candidates from the Third World countries didn't actually earn their qualifications on their own merit. But they will still get the job simply because the hiring managers are their own countrymen. And foreigners who insist on hiring foreigners will not be fired and repatriated swiftly. We now have a system that encourages and rewards such discriminatory practices. Or simply because local bosses prefer 'cheaper, better and faster. And foreign (read as no need to do pesky ICT and RT training.' And that's the real reason why you are unhappy about the unfairness of National Service."
I tend to agree with this author's opinion on the influx of sponsored scholars from mainly China and other countries. Why bring in such a huge proportion of them, pay for their education when their heart is in their homeland, not ours?
Thus, we Singaporean guys serving NS are actually serving to protect these foreigners, the author muses. And I somewhat agree. Here's the article, copied wholesale from the source mentioned above...PLAGIARISM!! LOL :D
"The issue with National Service (NS) has never been about its duration of two years or two years six months, or about the frequency of the In-Camp Trainings (ICT), or about the annual Individual Physical Proficiency Test (IPPT). Nor is it about it being unfair to Singaporean men.
The crux of the issue is that a growing number of Singaporeans are feeling deliberately excluded from Singapore's prosperity. And they using NS to vent their frustrations.
You are a Singaporean male. You did your two years of NS. When you enter a tertiary institution, you discover that a majority of the students there are not Singaporeans. Many of them are on scholarships paid for by our local tax payers, while your parents had to scrimp, save and maybe take a loan to pay for your educations. And you had to survive two years of NS without getting killed, or injured or maimed before you earned the right to take a loan to pay for your university fees. And thousands of foreigners who don't have to do NS get a free ride. It sucks to be you.
You worked hard, and you finally graduated. You now try to find a job. You find it tough, because many of the hiring managers are foreigners. And despite their public claims that they hire on merit, it turns out that most of them prefer to hire their own kind. If they hire locals, they usually mean Permanent Residents (PR) and not Singapore citizens, especially those who still have ICT obligations. Your friends who found jobs in the Civil Service don't mind ICT, since it doesn't affect their career prospects in the slightest. You try to complain, but most Singaporeans say 'whatever.' They really couldn't care less if you drown in your own puddle of blood. They think this only happens to other Singaporeans. They usually wake up their ideas when they find themselves driving taxis and working as security guards, missing the days when they were once hot shots in their industry.
Eventually, you found a job. You worked hard, neglected your health and family for the job. And you still got fired anyway simply because the new manager is a foreigner, and wants to bring in his own buddies. It is easy to do so, since firing a citizen doesn't break any labour laws, and MOM doesn't have a reputation of taking stern and decisive action against foreigners who hire their own kind. I have yet to read of such foreigners being sent packing back to their home countries. When caught with blatant discriminatory practices, foreigners simply shrug their shoulders and say 'Oops. Typo mistake. Won't do it again.' No foreign hiring manager will be fired.
So, while Singapore prospers, you find yourself increasingly shut out of its wealth. You discovered the hard way that the real reason you did NS, and why your son has to do NS, is to provide a safe and secure environment for foreigners to hire their own kind and exclude Singaporeans from good jobs. Maybe the foreigners will try to meet the Singaporean quota by restricting lower entry jobs to Singaporeans only. But the good stuff will be kept exclusively for their own kind. Not by merit, but by race and nationality and maybe even caste.
You try to complain to MOM. But this is a non-issue. Why should it be an issue? The foreigner who replaced you will pay taxes too. The minister in charge knows the chances of his party losing the elections is very low. So, he and his team of civil servants will continue to draw their good salaries. Aljunied GRC? Punggol-East? Who cares? Nearly everyone else won. And a bad election result for the party is still the best result anywhere in the world of democratic elections. A win of 67% is considered a landslide win by any standards. Tough luck on those unlucky losers who were in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Next time you want to complain about NS, get straight to the point. It isn't about men versus women. It isn't about Singaporeans versus foreigners. There were foreigners too back in the 1970s and 1980s. But back in those days, after you did your NS and ICT, your job was still safe. There were many good jobs around for Singaporeans.
Now, there aren't. They are mostly reserved for foreigners and their kind. You fear going back for ICT because by the time you got back, your job may be gone. Your annual disappearing act might give the foreign manager a stronger reason to either fire you or no longer hire Singaporeans with NS obligations. There are many ways to do so and get away clean.
Sure, the recruitment ads will now be mostly free from discriminatory practice. And the companies will have to advertise through a government recruitment portal. But you and I know the HR people will only politely
collect your CV but still tell you to go fuck yourself because you are a Singaporean. Worse still, if you are a Singaporean male burdened by NS obligations.
There are many ways to present good paperwork on why Singaporean male graduates from the top local universities in Singapore are less qualified than foreign candidate from some unaccredited or lowly ranked universities from Third World countries. And there is a high chance the candidates from the Third World countries didn't actually earn their qualifications on their own merit. But they will still get the job simply because the hiring managers are their own countrymen. And foreigners who insist on hiring foreigners will not be fired and repatriated swiftly. We now have a system that encourages and rewards such discriminatory practices. Or simply because local bosses prefer 'cheaper, better and faster. And foreign (read as no need to do pesky ICT and RT training.' And that's the real reason why you are unhappy about the unfairness of National Service."
Imagine by John Lennon
Chanced upon this cute, cartoonist-ic depiction of this all-time classic song: "Imagine" by John Lennon on postimg.org by Pablo Stanley.
So potent and raw are his lyrics. I'm sure this song is the anthem of many people and I daresay this is the anthem of mankind. Because we all desire peace, love, joy and happiness. We don't want war, fights, quarrels, injustice, hate, etc...
His song just goes to show that we, somehow all innately have this benchmark of how life is meant to be. We all have an idea of perfection, a heavenly utopia that we all dream of. It's in the OS (operating system) of our souls!
However, in our best efforts to achieve that dream that John Lennon so beautifully painted in his song, we have created a nightmare. That's because, we are all imperfect beings made for a perfect world that is not Earth.
It all comes back to the origin. Someone has already put the rules of life in place, someone has already put this benchmark of perfection in our hearts, someone has already defined what's right, what's wrong, what's love, what's hate, etc...
Question is, who is that someone? When we find that someone, that transcendent designer of our universe, there we can start to re-align and discover the answer to life's greatest riddle - What on earth am I here for?
Food for thought.
If you don't know this song, here's the lyric video of it on YouTube:
And here's the awesome depiction of "Imagine", drawn by Pablo Stanley.
So potent and raw are his lyrics. I'm sure this song is the anthem of many people and I daresay this is the anthem of mankind. Because we all desire peace, love, joy and happiness. We don't want war, fights, quarrels, injustice, hate, etc...
His song just goes to show that we, somehow all innately have this benchmark of how life is meant to be. We all have an idea of perfection, a heavenly utopia that we all dream of. It's in the OS (operating system) of our souls!
However, in our best efforts to achieve that dream that John Lennon so beautifully painted in his song, we have created a nightmare. That's because, we are all imperfect beings made for a perfect world that is not Earth.
It all comes back to the origin. Someone has already put the rules of life in place, someone has already put this benchmark of perfection in our hearts, someone has already defined what's right, what's wrong, what's love, what's hate, etc...
Question is, who is that someone? When we find that someone, that transcendent designer of our universe, there we can start to re-align and discover the answer to life's greatest riddle - What on earth am I here for?
Food for thought.
If you don't know this song, here's the lyric video of it on YouTube:
And here's the awesome depiction of "Imagine", drawn by Pablo Stanley.
Saturday, 12 October 2013
Friendship Woes and Relationship Rows (Part 2)
This'll be the last post on my dear friend Gan. Please read part 1 before you read this, lest you interpret part 2 out of part 1's context.
Have spent a lot of time ruminating on these thoughts and typing all these out really makes things clearer because sometimes in verbal communications, things get lost in translation and sometimes you trip over your emotions while expressing yourself verbally.
So somehow, writing is still the most accurate way of expressing oneself because you can edit your statement after you typed it. In writing, you can take the wrong words back and replace them with more appropriate ones. In face-to-face communication, what's said is said. No statement editing or referencing the thesaurus for a better word.
Yup, I finally met him up for dinner (I initiated) and talked not about every issue we have, but mainly the hall issue. After payment's made, he still wants me out because I'm too "inconsiderate".
I put it in inverted commas because to different people, there are different definitions and thresholds of inconsideration.
Fine, I am, ok? I could've done better as he claims. And maybe, I really could have done better. Some of the examples he cited for his course of action is:
1) I come back too late
Me: If I'm back too early, and get ready to sleep, you'll all still be awake and what am I to do? Study? Sleep? Stone?
Gan: It's because you come back late that's why we extend our staying up hours to "wait for you" and I (in basic consideration and concern) have to leave the light on for you.
So his nice, initiated, act of kindness is now being used against me. And it's not like I need them to stay up for me or need him to leave the light on for me. I got my hp torchlight to navigate. Or if need be, I'll turn on the table lamp lor.
With that, his response was "So now you assume that I know you have hp torchlight la?" Totally irrelevant here.
Because if leaving the light on is affecting him, then why leave it on in the first place? If you want to be nice to me by leaving the light on for me, it's your choice. Don't blame your choice on me.
To be nice to someone and later get upset with them and telling them "Eh, I made such a huge sacrifice ok?" and stuff like that totally discredits any good deed to begin with.
For all my previous roomies, I'll come back to a dark room and a sleeping, snoring body. Very most, if they're really concerned, they'll ask me "Eh, where you?", etc...before sleeping. Granted, he does that...but not all the time. But really, are all these really a need?
I mean, why stay up later, awaiting my return? It's like your parents stay up late awaiting your return. And when you return late, they scold you for making them stay up late and waiting for you in the name of being concerned.
Fine, they're your parents. So he's my daddy now?
His next accusation is: I did not turn off the table lights he turned on for me (which I didn't know was done for me...and he insists is common sense)
I turned off my friend's lights when he was sleeping before and I got a good scolding for that because he's afraid of the dark.
I picked up 2 badminton rackets from the floor because it'll be spoilt when stepped on BUT I got scolded because my friends were setting up a "goal post" using the badminton rackets to play soccer.
So much for common sense eh? Things are done for a reason. And when you don't know the reason, leave it as it is. Don't go and change it without knowing why it was being done that way.
So following that logic, I did not turn off his table light. His next accusation is "But you sleep here 2 months you should know I sleep without lights on what"
Ok granted, following that pattern I should've turned it off. But maybe, he could've left it on for a reason? So to turn it off may have gotten me scolded for that unknown reason too.
So right and wrong here is entirely unknown. I have to play this guessing game and if I guess wrongly, I get the flare of his fury. So much for loving me eh?
Basically, everything I've stated is grounded not on communicated expectations, but left to his whims and fancies and unwritten expectations - the chief destroyer of all relationships.
2) It's already late so I must be super quiet:
a) I can't zip my bag too fast because it'll result in a loud "zzzttttt" noise which affects him.
b) I have to take out the clothes from my plastic bag SUPER GENTLY such that the crunching to the plastic bag sound does not awaken sleeping beauty.
c) If I want to study at his table, I have to flip my pages very softly.
Granted, he is a SUPER light sleeper. Even the dust-mites whispering to each other would've pricked his bionic ears and send overwhelming disturbances down his system and cause him to wake from his beauty sleep.
But all those expectations above there are amusing. It's the reason why my friend had a big quarrel with her roommate too...and in the end, they filed complaints to hall office and changed room.
In summary, yes I am inconsiderate. I guess I could've done better. But I didn't expect his threshold to be that low and I would've thought all these would be communicated promptly in love and clarity.
But no, I thought too highly of him. He didn't love me enough to sit me down and lovingly tell me how I've been a great nightmare to him and discuss how I could improve before kicking me out.
He just did.
I'm fine. I guess I haven't been all to saintly either. And I guess God is teaching me to keep loving consistently in spite of how others fluctuate in theirs.
So for the hall thing. It's really just a poor choice on my part. Should I choose to crash a heavy sleeper's room, it'll be fine. Like how I was fine with ALL my other roommates.
This is really just a "human thing" as said by Gan. BUT, it could've been salvaged and amicably resolved by PROPER COMMUNICATION, not sudden kick out.
Lesson learnt from this hall episode: I needa be more considerate and sensitive. He needs to be more clear in communicating his expectations.
Story's not over. He asks me why I've been avoiding him. I've already explained why in part 1 and I'll elaborate here again.
He told me communication would've been improved if I had met him for dinner for the past week, like how I always do. I was totally WOW-ED by that statement.
So, here, he has posited that in order for communication to happen, I HAVE TO INITIATE dinners with him. HE DOESN'T NEED DO TO ANYTHING.
An interesting observation from his statement is "like how you always will meet me for dinner last time". His statement shows that our entire relationship has been centered around my initiation. I'm usually always the one asking him if he's free for dinner.
So once I stop initiating, communication will just break down. HE DOESN'T NEED TO DO ANYTHING.
He takes no responsibility at all in our relationship...He's always expecting, that's all. It's a heartbreaking fact for someone whom you (mutually) consider a dear friend.
The thing is, once I stop initiating dinners and all, he'd find it weird, which he did. And what's his response? His response WASN'T to ask me "Eh, wanna have dinner not? What happen to you?". That'd come from any normal friend. No rocket science. Basic relationship process 101.
What was his response? NOTHING. JUST SIT THERE AND WAIT FOR JONAVAN TO FIND ME TO KEEP THIS RELATIONSHIP GOING.
He also told me "I tried talking to you, but you don't want to talk to me what" and he cited the time when we were waiting for his friends to go chicken rice lunch outside.
I did not justify the reason why verbally when he asked me because it'll lead to a whole moment of bringing up all the part 1 moments and it'll be a really emotional exchange of sentiments and justifications and all. So I refrained.
So, here's my response:
His friend was supposed to come and fetch us and his friend took like 15 minutes before arriving. In that 15 minutes of waiting, I read all the headlines and side stories available in my 2 news applications. LOL!
After waiting for 5 minutes I asked him "Why he taking so long ah?" And he replied "So you late can, others late cannot la?" in the guai lan, what's-your-problem tone. And 2 weeks later he's telling me "I tried talking to you what, but you didn't wanna reply."
I think he totally did not do any self-reflection or considered any of his actions thus far. But looking at this scenario, would you even bother talking to him after he's tersely cut you off with his sharp and cold rebuttal?
He is forever trying to pick a fight with me and just trying to point out all my mistakes every moment I'm with him. That's why I gave up talking to him.
Everything I say would be a reference to a past grudge which he didn't/refuse to settle with me. Basically, what I say DOESN'T MATTER (part 1). It's what he says and thinks that does.
Even after the time I sat him down in canteen 9 and talked about our hall thing, when walking back to hall, I was using my handphone while walking with him and he walked ahead and remarked (paraphrased):
"Why you cannot walk with me properly without using your handphone?"
I think he was semi-joking, semi making a point. But my response was "Why you can't slow down and walk with me?"
Following his transmitter-is-always-right logic (part 1), if he runs, I'll have to run and keep up with him. If he crawls, I'll have to crawl with him.
Lemme re-enact this situation between 2 good friends. I've seen this happen sooo many times. They're walking together and one of them slows down because he/she's using the phone:
1st example:
The other friend goes over the one using the handphone, peeps and cheekily remarks "messaging who ah?" :D And the other replies "Aiya, *so and so* lor...I tell you ah..."
And they go on into a meaningful life-sharing conversation.
2nd example:
The other friend slows down and continues talking to the other friend on the handphone and though the handphone user replies with lag-time, the other friend's totally chill about it and meaningful conversations still goes on.
Look, such a simple thing he's making it so hard and complicated. Everything I do will be wrong. He will just find a way to link it there and bring something back up in the past that has already been resolved or not resolved.
With such people, don't open your mouth. They're just there to destroy you and drain you of who you are. HE IS DRAINING ME. Thus, I am avoiding him, if not, he'll just suck me dry.
Friends are there to celebrate and enjoy life with you, not point out your faults and come down hard on you for everything they can find.
There's this quote "If you look hard enough, you'll definitely find something you can complain about". This is true, if you just wanna bring someone down, you can. Just discredit them in any way possible.
And that's what he's been doing.
When I met him for dinner at can 9, I was 10 minutes late. The first thing when I saw him was to smile because I'm glad to see him and have dinner with him after so long.
But the first thing he said nonchalantly was "You're late." to which my natural defense was "It was raining."
His apathetic reply was "That is no excuse."
To that, I apologized and said "Sorry."
Who starts a good date like that? I've been late and early for meetings with many good friends and they'll always lovingly say "It's ok" in a way that indirectly tells me "What matters is that, you're here"
I don't get that from him. All he wants to do is to bring me down, show me stupid and prove me wrong. "YOU'RE LATE" death sentence tone. Haha. He is not interested in me. He is interested in having someone to eat with. No love, nothing. Me being late is more important than me being around.
There's no love, only a I-want-to-prove-you-wrong mindset within him. I really don't know what I did or why he has become like that.
When I first became good friends with him, he wasn't like that. We had awesome dialogues and we share our lives, our stories, chatted about people and their idiosyncrasies and we just.....loved. :(
That's why I told him that day when we ate at canteen 9 "I miss the Gan I used to eat with last year."
The sheer weight of that statement brings tears to my eyes because I really, really miss the deary boy Gan I used to love so much, share so much with. Things weren't like that last year. He loved me. Past tense.
We would whatsapp and exchange deep sentiments and assure each other of our love. But now, there's nothing. In this whole relationship, it has been entirely my initiation. The lecture hall talk, the invitation to church, the whatsapp messages, the assignment of the "deary" term, the teach-me-tutorial moments, the cards I wrote for him, the prayers I prayed with him, etc...
I'm fine with initiating and I expect nothing in return.. Because, if you love, all these things flow naturally. The least anyone could do was reciprocate, which he did, THEN. What about now? You ask him lor.
The sweetest thing he ever did was:
1) Write me a hurried card for Christmas (I think), which I still keep and appreciate a lot because he is not a cardy-guy and for him to write me, is my privilege :) I appreciate that. That is love.
2) Send me a super long essay on whatsapp telling me why he loves me. He did that twice. It melted my heart a lot.
Sad to say, I can only list these up to number 2. With my other besties who really loved me, I could write a whole blog post on it.
But it's ok, I'm still really glad that he loved me back :) Because what we share is special and irreplaceable.
But now, he has stripped everything away and what's left in the empty shell of this relationship are memories of why I love him. Lemme go through some of the reasons and moments:
1) Lecture hall chat.
How God brought us together was during lecture where I sat with him and instead of listening to the lecture, we chatted about our faith.
This was the beginning of our journey.
I loved him a lot. I don't know why. I guess it's a God-given love to win this lost boy back to him. Yes, I saw a lost boy, cultured, well-mannered, cautious, careful, measured and just trying to do things right and live life properly.
But life can never be lived properly if you don't have Christ. That's because when the storms of life hit your boat, your boat will drift, sway and most probably capsize because if your anchor is not found in Christ, it will not hold the boat of your life down properly.
So yeah, I guess God gave a big love for him, to see him come and fall in love with God.
2) Who he is.
I guess I also love him for the little things he does. Like when I poke him or challenge him and when he gets a lil' uptight and tensed up, his reaction is really cute. HAHA!
Sounds gay but yeah, when we have our lil' quarrels and teases, I'll always laugh and remark that his reaction is cute. LOL. The stunt face like "huh? What makes you say that?" and stuff like that.
His taglines are also funny. The way he sees things, sums things up and they way he find things funny is funny. LOL. I don't know how to say this but yeah...
The "count your stack", "Slap you back harder", "I take a fish and slap you", "hao lian, dai gou lian", "zai lorry", "legend la you", etc...is something characteristic of him which I enjoy. Haha. I love him.
3) The many leaps of faith.
I also love him for taking many leaps of faith. Because he's a measured and cautious guy, doing things like coming to a church that's so different from his and lifting hands and all is really awesome. It's heartening to see him open up.
The biggest leap of faith he took for me was to let me illegally squat in his hall. I will forever be grateful for that.
Being a non-risk-taker, he took a big risk of allowing me to stay because if caught, we'll all be hall-less for the rest of our lives in NTU. That's a huge sacrifice on his part. I appreciate that.
He also took a big risk because he didn't know if we'll get along well but he still did. That is love. I appreciate that and will reciprocate accordingly to my best. But apparently, my best wasn't enough. Or maybe, I didn't put in my best as he claims.
So yeah, I love him for the many leaps of faith he took. Being a measured person, such leaps of faith will be hard and I see that and I love him for that.
4) The future
I told him when I love someone, I love them for their past, present and future. And his reply? "You gong nia".
Well, he believe what he chooses and I live out what I must. This is the 4th reason why I love him. I love his future.
I believe one day God'll use him mightily in His own special way. He'll be doing things for God and adding to the kingdom. And I love that man God is crafting him to be.
I wrote him a card recently and jotted down 2 verses that the Holy Spirit dropped in my heart for him:
John 14:12 "Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also; and greater works than these he will do, because I go to My Father."
Jeremiah 29:13 "And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart."
I believe with all my heart that God will take this man further than what we think of now. I may or may not be a part of his life or mission by then but I'll still love him for who he'll become.
All in all, I will always love my deary boy. After all, I named our dropbox folder "Dearies4life". HAHA!
I don't give names like that frivolously. And I'll salvage whatever is left in our relationship and I will keep on loving him because of our past - what we shared, our present - his sacrifices, and for his future - the man God is moulding him to be.
On my part, I guess I also want to apologize for the many times I could've intentionally or unintentionally pissed you off, disappointed you, irritated you or hurt you with my words and actions.
But I've really loved you. I've put in a lot of honesty, real-ness, pro-active initiation and sacrifice into our relationship.
I'm not perfect. Neither are you. "We're not broken just bent, so we can learn to love again" to quote Pink.
I'm always ready to communicate, always ready to listen but I will not initiate anything anymore because I've tried, for the past 2 months....Tried to debate your logic and conclusions and all I got was "it doesn't matter" and "you're always right what".
You have given no thought, value or worth to whatever I might say (part 1). Communication is 2-way. But you have demodulated my message signal as noise and it has thus become a 1-way thing.
Yup, whatever goes on from here, is really up to him and up to God. For me, I'll distance from him too lest he sucks me dry with his judgments and break my heart to even smaller pieces.
Feel free to contest any wrong emotion or logic that I've expounded on in my 3 blog posts about him (2 entirely about him and 1 partially about him). But for now, this is what I've been feeling, thinking and getting.
But yeah, I'll always love my deary boy :') Even if it means loving with a broken heart.
Have spent a lot of time ruminating on these thoughts and typing all these out really makes things clearer because sometimes in verbal communications, things get lost in translation and sometimes you trip over your emotions while expressing yourself verbally.
So somehow, writing is still the most accurate way of expressing oneself because you can edit your statement after you typed it. In writing, you can take the wrong words back and replace them with more appropriate ones. In face-to-face communication, what's said is said. No statement editing or referencing the thesaurus for a better word.
Yup, I finally met him up for dinner (I initiated) and talked not about every issue we have, but mainly the hall issue. After payment's made, he still wants me out because I'm too "inconsiderate".
I put it in inverted commas because to different people, there are different definitions and thresholds of inconsideration.
Fine, I am, ok? I could've done better as he claims. And maybe, I really could have done better. Some of the examples he cited for his course of action is:
1) I come back too late
Me: If I'm back too early, and get ready to sleep, you'll all still be awake and what am I to do? Study? Sleep? Stone?
Gan: It's because you come back late that's why we extend our staying up hours to "wait for you" and I (in basic consideration and concern) have to leave the light on for you.
So his nice, initiated, act of kindness is now being used against me. And it's not like I need them to stay up for me or need him to leave the light on for me. I got my hp torchlight to navigate. Or if need be, I'll turn on the table lamp lor.
With that, his response was "So now you assume that I know you have hp torchlight la?" Totally irrelevant here.
Because if leaving the light on is affecting him, then why leave it on in the first place? If you want to be nice to me by leaving the light on for me, it's your choice. Don't blame your choice on me.
To be nice to someone and later get upset with them and telling them "Eh, I made such a huge sacrifice ok?" and stuff like that totally discredits any good deed to begin with.
For all my previous roomies, I'll come back to a dark room and a sleeping, snoring body. Very most, if they're really concerned, they'll ask me "Eh, where you?", etc...before sleeping. Granted, he does that...but not all the time. But really, are all these really a need?
I mean, why stay up later, awaiting my return? It's like your parents stay up late awaiting your return. And when you return late, they scold you for making them stay up late and waiting for you in the name of being concerned.
Fine, they're your parents. So he's my daddy now?
His next accusation is: I did not turn off the table lights he turned on for me (which I didn't know was done for me...and he insists is common sense)
I turned off my friend's lights when he was sleeping before and I got a good scolding for that because he's afraid of the dark.
I picked up 2 badminton rackets from the floor because it'll be spoilt when stepped on BUT I got scolded because my friends were setting up a "goal post" using the badminton rackets to play soccer.
So much for common sense eh? Things are done for a reason. And when you don't know the reason, leave it as it is. Don't go and change it without knowing why it was being done that way.
So following that logic, I did not turn off his table light. His next accusation is "But you sleep here 2 months you should know I sleep without lights on what"
Ok granted, following that pattern I should've turned it off. But maybe, he could've left it on for a reason? So to turn it off may have gotten me scolded for that unknown reason too.
So right and wrong here is entirely unknown. I have to play this guessing game and if I guess wrongly, I get the flare of his fury. So much for loving me eh?
Basically, everything I've stated is grounded not on communicated expectations, but left to his whims and fancies and unwritten expectations - the chief destroyer of all relationships.
2) It's already late so I must be super quiet:
a) I can't zip my bag too fast because it'll result in a loud "zzzttttt" noise which affects him.
b) I have to take out the clothes from my plastic bag SUPER GENTLY such that the crunching to the plastic bag sound does not awaken sleeping beauty.
c) If I want to study at his table, I have to flip my pages very softly.
Granted, he is a SUPER light sleeper. Even the dust-mites whispering to each other would've pricked his bionic ears and send overwhelming disturbances down his system and cause him to wake from his beauty sleep.
But all those expectations above there are amusing. It's the reason why my friend had a big quarrel with her roommate too...and in the end, they filed complaints to hall office and changed room.
In summary, yes I am inconsiderate. I guess I could've done better. But I didn't expect his threshold to be that low and I would've thought all these would be communicated promptly in love and clarity.
But no, I thought too highly of him. He didn't love me enough to sit me down and lovingly tell me how I've been a great nightmare to him and discuss how I could improve before kicking me out.
He just did.
I'm fine. I guess I haven't been all to saintly either. And I guess God is teaching me to keep loving consistently in spite of how others fluctuate in theirs.
So for the hall thing. It's really just a poor choice on my part. Should I choose to crash a heavy sleeper's room, it'll be fine. Like how I was fine with ALL my other roommates.
This is really just a "human thing" as said by Gan. BUT, it could've been salvaged and amicably resolved by PROPER COMMUNICATION, not sudden kick out.
Lesson learnt from this hall episode: I needa be more considerate and sensitive. He needs to be more clear in communicating his expectations.
Story's not over. He asks me why I've been avoiding him. I've already explained why in part 1 and I'll elaborate here again.
He told me communication would've been improved if I had met him for dinner for the past week, like how I always do. I was totally WOW-ED by that statement.
So, here, he has posited that in order for communication to happen, I HAVE TO INITIATE dinners with him. HE DOESN'T NEED DO TO ANYTHING.
An interesting observation from his statement is "like how you always will meet me for dinner last time". His statement shows that our entire relationship has been centered around my initiation. I'm usually always the one asking him if he's free for dinner.
So once I stop initiating, communication will just break down. HE DOESN'T NEED TO DO ANYTHING.
He takes no responsibility at all in our relationship...He's always expecting, that's all. It's a heartbreaking fact for someone whom you (mutually) consider a dear friend.
The thing is, once I stop initiating dinners and all, he'd find it weird, which he did. And what's his response? His response WASN'T to ask me "Eh, wanna have dinner not? What happen to you?". That'd come from any normal friend. No rocket science. Basic relationship process 101.
What was his response? NOTHING. JUST SIT THERE AND WAIT FOR JONAVAN TO FIND ME TO KEEP THIS RELATIONSHIP GOING.
He also told me "I tried talking to you, but you don't want to talk to me what" and he cited the time when we were waiting for his friends to go chicken rice lunch outside.
I did not justify the reason why verbally when he asked me because it'll lead to a whole moment of bringing up all the part 1 moments and it'll be a really emotional exchange of sentiments and justifications and all. So I refrained.
So, here's my response:
His friend was supposed to come and fetch us and his friend took like 15 minutes before arriving. In that 15 minutes of waiting, I read all the headlines and side stories available in my 2 news applications. LOL!
After waiting for 5 minutes I asked him "Why he taking so long ah?" And he replied "So you late can, others late cannot la?" in the guai lan, what's-your-problem tone. And 2 weeks later he's telling me "I tried talking to you what, but you didn't wanna reply."
I think he totally did not do any self-reflection or considered any of his actions thus far. But looking at this scenario, would you even bother talking to him after he's tersely cut you off with his sharp and cold rebuttal?
He is forever trying to pick a fight with me and just trying to point out all my mistakes every moment I'm with him. That's why I gave up talking to him.
Everything I say would be a reference to a past grudge which he didn't/refuse to settle with me. Basically, what I say DOESN'T MATTER (part 1). It's what he says and thinks that does.
Even after the time I sat him down in canteen 9 and talked about our hall thing, when walking back to hall, I was using my handphone while walking with him and he walked ahead and remarked (paraphrased):
"Why you cannot walk with me properly without using your handphone?"
I think he was semi-joking, semi making a point. But my response was "Why you can't slow down and walk with me?"
Following his transmitter-is-always-right logic (part 1), if he runs, I'll have to run and keep up with him. If he crawls, I'll have to crawl with him.
Lemme re-enact this situation between 2 good friends. I've seen this happen sooo many times. They're walking together and one of them slows down because he/she's using the phone:
1st example:
The other friend goes over the one using the handphone, peeps and cheekily remarks "messaging who ah?" :D And the other replies "Aiya, *so and so* lor...I tell you ah..."
And they go on into a meaningful life-sharing conversation.
2nd example:
The other friend slows down and continues talking to the other friend on the handphone and though the handphone user replies with lag-time, the other friend's totally chill about it and meaningful conversations still goes on.
Look, such a simple thing he's making it so hard and complicated. Everything I do will be wrong. He will just find a way to link it there and bring something back up in the past that has already been resolved or not resolved.
With such people, don't open your mouth. They're just there to destroy you and drain you of who you are. HE IS DRAINING ME. Thus, I am avoiding him, if not, he'll just suck me dry.
Friends are there to celebrate and enjoy life with you, not point out your faults and come down hard on you for everything they can find.
There's this quote "If you look hard enough, you'll definitely find something you can complain about". This is true, if you just wanna bring someone down, you can. Just discredit them in any way possible.
And that's what he's been doing.
When I met him for dinner at can 9, I was 10 minutes late. The first thing when I saw him was to smile because I'm glad to see him and have dinner with him after so long.
But the first thing he said nonchalantly was "You're late." to which my natural defense was "It was raining."
His apathetic reply was "That is no excuse."
To that, I apologized and said "Sorry."
Who starts a good date like that? I've been late and early for meetings with many good friends and they'll always lovingly say "It's ok" in a way that indirectly tells me "What matters is that, you're here"
I don't get that from him. All he wants to do is to bring me down, show me stupid and prove me wrong. "YOU'RE LATE" death sentence tone. Haha. He is not interested in me. He is interested in having someone to eat with. No love, nothing. Me being late is more important than me being around.
There's no love, only a I-want-to-prove-you-wrong mindset within him. I really don't know what I did or why he has become like that.
When I first became good friends with him, he wasn't like that. We had awesome dialogues and we share our lives, our stories, chatted about people and their idiosyncrasies and we just.....loved. :(
That's why I told him that day when we ate at canteen 9 "I miss the Gan I used to eat with last year."
The sheer weight of that statement brings tears to my eyes because I really, really miss the deary boy Gan I used to love so much, share so much with. Things weren't like that last year. He loved me. Past tense.
We would whatsapp and exchange deep sentiments and assure each other of our love. But now, there's nothing. In this whole relationship, it has been entirely my initiation. The lecture hall talk, the invitation to church, the whatsapp messages, the assignment of the "deary" term, the teach-me-tutorial moments, the cards I wrote for him, the prayers I prayed with him, etc...
I'm fine with initiating and I expect nothing in return.. Because, if you love, all these things flow naturally. The least anyone could do was reciprocate, which he did, THEN. What about now? You ask him lor.
The sweetest thing he ever did was:
1) Write me a hurried card for Christmas (I think), which I still keep and appreciate a lot because he is not a cardy-guy and for him to write me, is my privilege :) I appreciate that. That is love.
2) Send me a super long essay on whatsapp telling me why he loves me. He did that twice. It melted my heart a lot.
Sad to say, I can only list these up to number 2. With my other besties who really loved me, I could write a whole blog post on it.
But it's ok, I'm still really glad that he loved me back :) Because what we share is special and irreplaceable.
But now, he has stripped everything away and what's left in the empty shell of this relationship are memories of why I love him. Lemme go through some of the reasons and moments:
1) Lecture hall chat.
How God brought us together was during lecture where I sat with him and instead of listening to the lecture, we chatted about our faith.
This was the beginning of our journey.
I loved him a lot. I don't know why. I guess it's a God-given love to win this lost boy back to him. Yes, I saw a lost boy, cultured, well-mannered, cautious, careful, measured and just trying to do things right and live life properly.
But life can never be lived properly if you don't have Christ. That's because when the storms of life hit your boat, your boat will drift, sway and most probably capsize because if your anchor is not found in Christ, it will not hold the boat of your life down properly.
So yeah, I guess God gave a big love for him, to see him come and fall in love with God.
2) Who he is.
I guess I also love him for the little things he does. Like when I poke him or challenge him and when he gets a lil' uptight and tensed up, his reaction is really cute. HAHA!
Sounds gay but yeah, when we have our lil' quarrels and teases, I'll always laugh and remark that his reaction is cute. LOL. The stunt face like "huh? What makes you say that?" and stuff like that.
His taglines are also funny. The way he sees things, sums things up and they way he find things funny is funny. LOL. I don't know how to say this but yeah...
The "count your stack", "Slap you back harder", "I take a fish and slap you", "hao lian, dai gou lian", "zai lorry", "legend la you", etc...is something characteristic of him which I enjoy. Haha. I love him.
3) The many leaps of faith.
I also love him for taking many leaps of faith. Because he's a measured and cautious guy, doing things like coming to a church that's so different from his and lifting hands and all is really awesome. It's heartening to see him open up.
The biggest leap of faith he took for me was to let me illegally squat in his hall. I will forever be grateful for that.
Being a non-risk-taker, he took a big risk of allowing me to stay because if caught, we'll all be hall-less for the rest of our lives in NTU. That's a huge sacrifice on his part. I appreciate that.
He also took a big risk because he didn't know if we'll get along well but he still did. That is love. I appreciate that and will reciprocate accordingly to my best. But apparently, my best wasn't enough. Or maybe, I didn't put in my best as he claims.
So yeah, I love him for the many leaps of faith he took. Being a measured person, such leaps of faith will be hard and I see that and I love him for that.
4) The future
I told him when I love someone, I love them for their past, present and future. And his reply? "You gong nia".
Well, he believe what he chooses and I live out what I must. This is the 4th reason why I love him. I love his future.
I believe one day God'll use him mightily in His own special way. He'll be doing things for God and adding to the kingdom. And I love that man God is crafting him to be.
I wrote him a card recently and jotted down 2 verses that the Holy Spirit dropped in my heart for him:
John 14:12 "Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also; and greater works than these he will do, because I go to My Father."
Jeremiah 29:13 "And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart."
I believe with all my heart that God will take this man further than what we think of now. I may or may not be a part of his life or mission by then but I'll still love him for who he'll become.
All in all, I will always love my deary boy. After all, I named our dropbox folder "Dearies4life". HAHA!
I don't give names like that frivolously. And I'll salvage whatever is left in our relationship and I will keep on loving him because of our past - what we shared, our present - his sacrifices, and for his future - the man God is moulding him to be.
On my part, I guess I also want to apologize for the many times I could've intentionally or unintentionally pissed you off, disappointed you, irritated you or hurt you with my words and actions.
But I've really loved you. I've put in a lot of honesty, real-ness, pro-active initiation and sacrifice into our relationship.
I'm not perfect. Neither are you. "We're not broken just bent, so we can learn to love again" to quote Pink.
I'm always ready to communicate, always ready to listen but I will not initiate anything anymore because I've tried, for the past 2 months....Tried to debate your logic and conclusions and all I got was "it doesn't matter" and "you're always right what".
You have given no thought, value or worth to whatever I might say (part 1). Communication is 2-way. But you have demodulated my message signal as noise and it has thus become a 1-way thing.
Yup, whatever goes on from here, is really up to him and up to God. For me, I'll distance from him too lest he sucks me dry with his judgments and break my heart to even smaller pieces.
Feel free to contest any wrong emotion or logic that I've expounded on in my 3 blog posts about him (2 entirely about him and 1 partially about him). But for now, this is what I've been feeling, thinking and getting.
But yeah, I'll always love my deary boy :') Even if it means loving with a broken heart.
Thursday, 10 October 2013
New blog URL & the history of "Jonny"
For those reading this post now, you're either an ardent follower of my blog or you found my blog through google. Haha.
Either way, hello! :D Haha!
If you didn't realize, I changed my blog URL from historymakers-jonavanlee.blogspot.sg to historymakers-jonnyboy.blogspot.sg.
Why?
Because recently, I was invited to pledge my blog to the Singapore Memory Project (SMP). Here's an excerpt of their invitation:
"On behalf of the National Library Board (NLB), we would like to invite you to pledge your blog to the Singapore Memory Project (SMP)."
I checked out their website, saw what other bloggers had to say, read through the terms and conditions, and decided only to pledge certain posts in my blog after reading their terms & conditions because one of them stated:
"You agree not to post on the SMP Portal any memories, content or any other materials whatsoever that is or could appear to be: untrue, misleading, harmful, threatening, abusive, harassing, tortious, defamatory, vulgar, obscene, libelous, invasive to another person's privacy or protected data, hateful, or racially, ethnically or otherwise objectionable;"
Most of my posts contain very much of my personal opinions and some of them are highly controversial, like really. LOL. So yeah, they are debatable and objectionable depending on your perspective and how you perceive and contextually interpret truth.
So, because I've agreed to share some of my posts on the site, I thought putting my name in my blog URL won't be that wise.
I'd like to keep things semi-anonymous so that those who want to find me, can, and those that don't, won't.
So yeah, that's why I decided to change my blog URL :D
Anyway, for the history of the term "Jonny Boy" it has been "used" by me and on me several times. Lemme trace the history of this nickname:
Around year 2008 - 2009: I was playing Pets Society on Facebook. Yes I know, don't judge me. I just entered NS. LOL!
That was when I randomly nicknamed my pet "JonnyBoyJunior" :D Here's a picture of JonnyBoyJunior! (Yes, there is a Pet's Society album in my facebook albums..LOL)
I still think he's really cute :D LOL!
I think that was the very first occurrence of the nickname "JonnyBoy" in my life. And it had to make its debut in PET'S SOCIETY -.- LOL!
Also around 2008 - 2009 period, when I was still being mentored by a most awesome, articulate and eloquently cogent ministry leader - Lee Cai Jie - he was calling me "Jonny".
I was also in the ministry he started - Fish4men. One of the most essential ministries that was not well supported by the church :( He was the sole person who called me "Jonny" in church. Haha.
Subsequently, this nickname wasn't really used (other than Cai Jie) until this year, year 2013. Where miss bff and I nicknamed each other "Xuanny" & "Jonny". Like Cai Jie, she was also the sole person to address me as "Jonny" or "JonnyBoy". Haha.
From there, this nickname was revived and I went on to nickname my animal avatar (the cute doe/deer in 1st place below) on Fun Run "jonnyboy..."
Stop judging me! A lot of my friends my age and older also play Fun Run ok? LOL! Anyway, my rating is 5200+ now :D HAHAHA! Kthxbye.
But nothing compared to my sister's rating of 12000+. A few of my other friends like Yong Da & Kelvin also has an imba rating of 12000+ and 13000+ respectively. HAHA! Ok can.
So yeah, that's the brief history of my nickname "Jonny" or "JonnyBoy". LOL.
Anyway, I was free enough to type this post because I came for a tutorial class that I already attended on Monday... -_-" Bravo me. So while waiting to lunch with my friends, I ended up blogging. Kthxbye.
Yup, keep my studies and relationships in prayer! Really need them now :D Haha! Ok, back to the grind...
Either way, hello! :D Haha!
If you didn't realize, I changed my blog URL from historymakers-jonavanlee.blogspot.sg to historymakers-jonnyboy.blogspot.sg.
Why?
Because recently, I was invited to pledge my blog to the Singapore Memory Project (SMP). Here's an excerpt of their invitation:
"On behalf of the National Library Board (NLB), we would like to invite you to pledge your blog to the Singapore Memory Project (SMP)."
I checked out their website, saw what other bloggers had to say, read through the terms and conditions, and decided only to pledge certain posts in my blog after reading their terms & conditions because one of them stated:
"You agree not to post on the SMP Portal any memories, content or any other materials whatsoever that is or could appear to be: untrue, misleading, harmful, threatening, abusive, harassing, tortious, defamatory, vulgar, obscene, libelous, invasive to another person's privacy or protected data, hateful, or racially, ethnically or otherwise objectionable;"
Most of my posts contain very much of my personal opinions and some of them are highly controversial, like really. LOL. So yeah, they are debatable and objectionable depending on your perspective and how you perceive and contextually interpret truth.
So, because I've agreed to share some of my posts on the site, I thought putting my name in my blog URL won't be that wise.
I'd like to keep things semi-anonymous so that those who want to find me, can, and those that don't, won't.
So yeah, that's why I decided to change my blog URL :D
Anyway, for the history of the term "Jonny Boy" it has been "used" by me and on me several times. Lemme trace the history of this nickname:
Around year 2008 - 2009: I was playing Pets Society on Facebook. Yes I know, don't judge me. I just entered NS. LOL!
That was when I randomly nicknamed my pet "JonnyBoyJunior" :D Here's a picture of JonnyBoyJunior! (Yes, there is a Pet's Society album in my facebook albums..LOL)
I still think he's really cute :D LOL!
 |
| JonnyBoyJunior playing his electric guitar! :D LOL |
Also around 2008 - 2009 period, when I was still being mentored by a most awesome, articulate and eloquently cogent ministry leader - Lee Cai Jie - he was calling me "Jonny".
I was also in the ministry he started - Fish4men. One of the most essential ministries that was not well supported by the church :( He was the sole person who called me "Jonny" in church. Haha.
Subsequently, this nickname wasn't really used (other than Cai Jie) until this year, year 2013. Where miss bff and I nicknamed each other "Xuanny" & "Jonny". Like Cai Jie, she was also the sole person to address me as "Jonny" or "JonnyBoy". Haha.
From there, this nickname was revived and I went on to nickname my animal avatar (the cute doe/deer in 1st place below) on Fun Run "jonnyboy..."
 |
| My fun run avatar's the doe (deer) in the 1st place. LOL! My doe's nick? jonnyboy..." |
But nothing compared to my sister's rating of 12000+. A few of my other friends like Yong Da & Kelvin also has an imba rating of 12000+ and 13000+ respectively. HAHA! Ok can.
So yeah, that's the brief history of my nickname "Jonny" or "JonnyBoy". LOL.
Anyway, I was free enough to type this post because I came for a tutorial class that I already attended on Monday... -_-" Bravo me. So while waiting to lunch with my friends, I ended up blogging. Kthxbye.
Yup, keep my studies and relationships in prayer! Really need them now :D Haha! Ok, back to the grind...
Monday, 7 October 2013
Rest in God - Pastor Tan Seow How
Back at my keyboard again. This time it's my iPad's keyboard. Have to blog again because I just learnt something amazing in church today.
It is an add on the "backing off" post. Pastor How preached an extraordinary message on "Rest in God" today. Amazing insights I learnt today that I wanna pen down to share and remember. 3 main things I learnt.
1) There was evening and morning even before the sun and moon were created!
V.13 "And there was evening, and there was morning—the third day." (Genesis 1:13 NIV)
"God made two great lights—the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars. God set them in the vault of the sky to give light on the earth, to govern the day and the night, and to separate light from darkness. And God saw that it was good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the fourth day." (Genesis 1:16-19 NIV)
It is an add on the "backing off" post. Pastor How preached an extraordinary message on "Rest in God" today. Amazing insights I learnt today that I wanna pen down to share and remember. 3 main things I learnt.
1) There was evening and morning even before the sun and moon were created!
V.13 "And there was evening, and there was morning—the third day." (Genesis 1:13 NIV)
"God made two great lights—the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars. God set them in the vault of the sky to give light on the earth, to govern the day and the night, and to separate light from darkness. And God saw that it was good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the fourth day." (Genesis 1:16-19 NIV)
When the sun and moon were created, it was the fourth day! This means that the concept of "day" has already been in place before these two great stars were designed and put into orbit by God!
God has an internal, eternal clock! Night and day is not a product of sunrise and sunset! The concept of "day" has always been there!
God just used the sun and moon as a physical indicator of this concept called "day" which are actually bite-sized pieces of another concept called "time".
So yeah, this concept of "day", "week" and "month" has already been theorized before the sun and moon came into being.
I've read Genesis a gazillion times and I've never stumbled on this truth! This is probably because I was just reading, not studying the Word.
2) Why did God rest on the 7th day?
Was He exhausted? Did He go "Wow, this creating thing is so tiring!" and then crashed on the 7th day? Of course not! He could go on working for all eternity!
So WHY did God rest on the 7th day?
Here's why. God rested on the 7th day to teach Adam the concept of rest! Here's how...
So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them...God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day. (Genesis 1:27, 31 NIV)
God created mankind on the 6th day. So when is mankind's first day? When Adam and Eve actually opened their eyes, get used to their skin and learnt how to use their limbs, it would've been the 7th day - the day God rested; Sabbath day.
Excited with their newfound existence, Adam and Eve would've probably asked "God what should we do today?"
And God would've probably replied "Nothing. All that needs to be done has been done. Just rest in my presence and fellowship with Me."
So the first day of the week for mankind was actually, SUNDAY! Your week begins with rest! It's where you find strength, hope, peace, patience, vision, purpose, love and get your systems totally refreshed before you face the rest of the week!
And then after the first day of your week, you face the second day of the week - Monday. That's when you start working and drawing from the "mana" pool or your battery that you've charged over your 1st day.
We all say our week starts on Monday. But in the order of creation, mankind's week starts on Sunday, the 7th day, the rest day, the Sabbath day.
Your week begins with rest in God where you are refilled with love, hope, peace, patience, vision, etc...
When you understand this natural concept, a supernatural increase and breakthrough will happen in your life!
So when God rested, it was to commemorate His perfect work, it was a way to show that He has finished what He intended to do.
Genesis 1:31 "God saw all that He had made and it was very good..."
For us, all we have to do is worship Him and commemorate all He has done and will be doing. Thus prayer and worship is a form of resting.
3) When men rest, God works. When men work, God rests.
Genesis 2:21 - 22 "So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man."
When we rest, God works!
Rest in God doesn't mean we don't work, but it means knowing when to stop work.
It means we do our best and knowing that our best is not enough and we rest and say "God, I've done what I can in the day, You do what I cannot in the night."
So don't overwork yourself. When you overwork yourself through the night, the night passes super slowly. But when you rest at night, it passes by very quickly.
Because night is God's domain! You need to rest and let God do what He must while you rest!
Nothing is in our control! We do what we must and can with all our heart and once we've exhausted our means, we humble ourselves and come before God and say "God I've done what I can, now You do what I cannot."
Ps How used the exact two words in my previous post: "back off". He also used the seed-planting analogy:
In our primary school days, we all plant our tao-gei in the cotton wool in our science experiment.
You get excited and you drown your bean in water and watch and observe it. BUT it doesn't grow!
Then you give up and go to sleep and the next day, there is progress! There is growth!
When you painstakingly fix your eyes on it and watch it, it doesn't grow. But when you rest and let nature take it course, it grows! Staring at it won't help it grow faster. It'll only tire you out and wear your patience thin!
God is the one who gives the increase!
BUT YOU HAVE TO PLANT THE SEED.
If you plant nothing, you'll get nothing! God does not work with zeros! You plant a 0, you get 0. But if you plant at least something, say, '1', you'll get something!
You plant nothing - 0
0 multiplied by 1000 = 0
0 multiplied by infinity = 0
You plant something minimally - 1
1 multiplied by 1000 = 1000
1 multiplied by infinity = infinity
1 multiplied by God = God
Throughout the old testament, you'll see that it is the Lord who gives the increase. You can work and toil your whole life, but until God gives the increase, all your labour is vain.
Genesis 48:4 "I am going to make you fruitful and will increase your numbers.."
How Ps How got the place for Heart of God church in Singpost is also God's provision! He actually got a friend who recommended a real estate agent for Singpost. But that real estate agent got angry with Ps How's negotiation for a better price and stomped off.
What next? What could he do? But pray, wait and rest in God.
Next thing he knew, one of the board members introduced him to the vice-president of Singpost at an event and he got the rental space in Singpost without going through a real estate agent and paying extra fees!
What did Ps How and Ps Lia do? Nothing. They just waited and rest and trust in God and God in His sovereign and perfect timing brought the increase!
This is a concept I'm grappling with now. 4 years back when God told me to drop my ministry appointments one by one and to strip me of all the titles that defined my relationship with Him, He's been teaching me this one thing - rest.
Something very foreign to all the hurried, kan-chiong and achievement-crazy Singaporeans.
We strive so hard, fight so fierce and work ourselves weary only to hit a dead end...because we fail to realize that we are not in control of life - we can't control who we meet, how people respond and what can happen to us in life.
Same it is for me, I always try really hard to convince people, debating and trying to just get things done. But sometimes, until the time is right, nothing will move.
Colossians 1:17 "He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together."
It all hinges on God and His perfect and sovereign timing.
Yep, for me now, I gotta REST and back-off cos I've been working too hard in my strength.
It's hard when I'm such a workaholic, vision-minded, pragmatic and get-things-done-ASAP kinda person.
But I gotta slow down my pace, rest, die to myself - my self sufficiency and fall in love with my Saviour all over again.
"Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me."
John 12:24-26
Yeah, please pray for me. It's not an easy season. Many things God is using to test my convictions and many things and people who I deem dear to me He is stripping off my life so that I might not rely on people for joy, acceptance and love.
I know all these. But knowing and going through such things are worlds apart.
But I know at the end of all these, He will provide me friends that'll stride with me, love me and do great things for God alongside me.
So many things to say and write but I do not have enough time to distill and pen all my thoughts.
So this is it for now. I will press on, hold on and give my all until I see His face at the end of this race.
I hereby pledge my allegiance to You again Lord, I am Yours. Take me, break me, mould me and use me for all that You intended me to be.
God has an internal, eternal clock! Night and day is not a product of sunrise and sunset! The concept of "day" has always been there!
God just used the sun and moon as a physical indicator of this concept called "day" which are actually bite-sized pieces of another concept called "time".
So yeah, this concept of "day", "week" and "month" has already been theorized before the sun and moon came into being.
I've read Genesis a gazillion times and I've never stumbled on this truth! This is probably because I was just reading, not studying the Word.
2) Why did God rest on the 7th day?
Was He exhausted? Did He go "Wow, this creating thing is so tiring!" and then crashed on the 7th day? Of course not! He could go on working for all eternity!
So WHY did God rest on the 7th day?
Here's why. God rested on the 7th day to teach Adam the concept of rest! Here's how...
So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them...God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day. (Genesis 1:27, 31 NIV)
God created mankind on the 6th day. So when is mankind's first day? When Adam and Eve actually opened their eyes, get used to their skin and learnt how to use their limbs, it would've been the 7th day - the day God rested; Sabbath day.
Excited with their newfound existence, Adam and Eve would've probably asked "God what should we do today?"
And God would've probably replied "Nothing. All that needs to be done has been done. Just rest in my presence and fellowship with Me."
So the first day of the week for mankind was actually, SUNDAY! Your week begins with rest! It's where you find strength, hope, peace, patience, vision, purpose, love and get your systems totally refreshed before you face the rest of the week!
And then after the first day of your week, you face the second day of the week - Monday. That's when you start working and drawing from the "mana" pool or your battery that you've charged over your 1st day.
We all say our week starts on Monday. But in the order of creation, mankind's week starts on Sunday, the 7th day, the rest day, the Sabbath day.
Your week begins with rest in God where you are refilled with love, hope, peace, patience, vision, etc...
When you understand this natural concept, a supernatural increase and breakthrough will happen in your life!
So when God rested, it was to commemorate His perfect work, it was a way to show that He has finished what He intended to do.
Genesis 1:31 "God saw all that He had made and it was very good..."
For us, all we have to do is worship Him and commemorate all He has done and will be doing. Thus prayer and worship is a form of resting.
3) When men rest, God works. When men work, God rests.
Genesis 2:21 - 22 "So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man."
When we rest, God works!
Rest in God doesn't mean we don't work, but it means knowing when to stop work.
It means we do our best and knowing that our best is not enough and we rest and say "God, I've done what I can in the day, You do what I cannot in the night."
So don't overwork yourself. When you overwork yourself through the night, the night passes super slowly. But when you rest at night, it passes by very quickly.
Because night is God's domain! You need to rest and let God do what He must while you rest!
Nothing is in our control! We do what we must and can with all our heart and once we've exhausted our means, we humble ourselves and come before God and say "God I've done what I can, now You do what I cannot."
Ps How used the exact two words in my previous post: "back off". He also used the seed-planting analogy:
In our primary school days, we all plant our tao-gei in the cotton wool in our science experiment.
You get excited and you drown your bean in water and watch and observe it. BUT it doesn't grow!
Then you give up and go to sleep and the next day, there is progress! There is growth!
When you painstakingly fix your eyes on it and watch it, it doesn't grow. But when you rest and let nature take it course, it grows! Staring at it won't help it grow faster. It'll only tire you out and wear your patience thin!
God is the one who gives the increase!
BUT YOU HAVE TO PLANT THE SEED.
If you plant nothing, you'll get nothing! God does not work with zeros! You plant a 0, you get 0. But if you plant at least something, say, '1', you'll get something!
You plant nothing - 0
0 multiplied by 1000 = 0
0 multiplied by infinity = 0
You plant something minimally - 1
1 multiplied by 1000 = 1000
1 multiplied by infinity = infinity
1 multiplied by God = God
Throughout the old testament, you'll see that it is the Lord who gives the increase. You can work and toil your whole life, but until God gives the increase, all your labour is vain.
Genesis 48:4 "I am going to make you fruitful and will increase your numbers.."
How Ps How got the place for Heart of God church in Singpost is also God's provision! He actually got a friend who recommended a real estate agent for Singpost. But that real estate agent got angry with Ps How's negotiation for a better price and stomped off.
What next? What could he do? But pray, wait and rest in God.
Next thing he knew, one of the board members introduced him to the vice-president of Singpost at an event and he got the rental space in Singpost without going through a real estate agent and paying extra fees!
What did Ps How and Ps Lia do? Nothing. They just waited and rest and trust in God and God in His sovereign and perfect timing brought the increase!
This is a concept I'm grappling with now. 4 years back when God told me to drop my ministry appointments one by one and to strip me of all the titles that defined my relationship with Him, He's been teaching me this one thing - rest.
Something very foreign to all the hurried, kan-chiong and achievement-crazy Singaporeans.
We strive so hard, fight so fierce and work ourselves weary only to hit a dead end...because we fail to realize that we are not in control of life - we can't control who we meet, how people respond and what can happen to us in life.
Same it is for me, I always try really hard to convince people, debating and trying to just get things done. But sometimes, until the time is right, nothing will move.
Colossians 1:17 "He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together."
It all hinges on God and His perfect and sovereign timing.
Yep, for me now, I gotta REST and back-off cos I've been working too hard in my strength.
It's hard when I'm such a workaholic, vision-minded, pragmatic and get-things-done-ASAP kinda person.
But I gotta slow down my pace, rest, die to myself - my self sufficiency and fall in love with my Saviour all over again.
"Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me."
John 12:24-26
Yeah, please pray for me. It's not an easy season. Many things God is using to test my convictions and many things and people who I deem dear to me He is stripping off my life so that I might not rely on people for joy, acceptance and love.
I know all these. But knowing and going through such things are worlds apart.
But I know at the end of all these, He will provide me friends that'll stride with me, love me and do great things for God alongside me.
So many things to say and write but I do not have enough time to distill and pen all my thoughts.
So this is it for now. I will press on, hold on and give my all until I see His face at the end of this race.
I hereby pledge my allegiance to You again Lord, I am Yours. Take me, break me, mould me and use me for all that You intended me to be.
I love You Jesus, always :)
Wednesday, 2 October 2013
Backing off
And so, I'm back at my blog even though I've got tons of assignments and tutorials to finish. And so far, I've been doing all these at a shockingly leisurely pace. Haha. Can't seem to kick out the holiday mood when this is not a holiday but a recess week - a week to rest and catch up!
Have been home the past 3 days thus far and just doing my assignments - MATLAB programming -.- And since I didn't leave home the past 3 days, I didn't shave. LOL! And this is the manly result :D HAHA!
So yeah, gonna mug like mad today (I hope) and clear a few tutorials before I go back school to face more of such engineering rubbish which I needa memorize.
Anyway, while doing my daily readings today I was really impacted by this passage and thus I had to blog this out to crystallize, internalize and regurgitate the truths my eyes just grazed on.
Reading this devotional book called "Come Before Winter and share my hope" by Charles R. Swindoll or Chuck Swindoll. He is an A.M.A.Z.I.N.G author. His diction, stories and vast show of descriptive vocabulary never fails to amaze me. His words simply paint a picture in your head and instead of reading a book, you're actually very much watching a short play in your mind's TV screen.
Today's topic is called "Backing Off" which talks about patience, distance and letting people and situations have space and time to breathe.
Here's a few excerpts from the passage which really spoke to me:
Here comes the best part - where he illustrates his principles and pointers with real life examples which you can identify with:
Have been home the past 3 days thus far and just doing my assignments - MATLAB programming -.- And since I didn't leave home the past 3 days, I didn't shave. LOL! And this is the manly result :D HAHA!
 |
| Manly facial hair. LOL. |
Anyway, while doing my daily readings today I was really impacted by this passage and thus I had to blog this out to crystallize, internalize and regurgitate the truths my eyes just grazed on.
Reading this devotional book called "Come Before Winter and share my hope" by Charles R. Swindoll or Chuck Swindoll. He is an A.M.A.Z.I.N.G author. His diction, stories and vast show of descriptive vocabulary never fails to amaze me. His words simply paint a picture in your head and instead of reading a book, you're actually very much watching a short play in your mind's TV screen.
Today's topic is called "Backing Off" which talks about patience, distance and letting people and situations have space and time to breathe.
Here's a few excerpts from the passage which really spoke to me:
"Backing off, says Solomon (in Ecclesiastes 3), provides opportunity for healing to occur, opportunity for perspective to break through the storm clouds of emotion and illuminate a difficult situation with a fresh understanding."
"When the time is right, things flow very naturally, very freely. To rush or force creates friction-scars that take years to erase. Intensity leads to futility."
"Like the little boy who plants the seed and then nervously digs it up every day to see if it is growing. Waiting is as necessary as planting and fertilizing."
"What a difficult pill for uptight parents to swallow! Kept edgy by impatience, rigidity and unbending determination, they foolishly rush in where angels loathe to tread. The result? Exasperated kids. Rooms choked with threats and irritating pressure."
"We can do this with people we have offended. They need time to reason, freedom to forgive without being hurried. To push for a quick closure is like a hard-sell salesman pressing you to buy when you are trying to decide what's best. The faster he talks and the harder he pushes, the less interested you become in buying - even if it's something you need."
"Nobody is able to eat while they're weeping. Serving more food isn't the answer. The appetite will return when the agony subsides...and not until. That takes time."
We see this issue of impatience and not backing-off in every facet of relationships - parenting, friendships, boy-girl relationships, marriage, office get-things-done setting, etc...
And I for one am famous for my pushing intensity. Because I debate a lot with myself, reason and logic-fy things very fast and I see the end result and I PUSH REAL HARD to get my point across which...sometimes, just doesn't work.
Like Chuck Swindoll has said "To rush or force creates friction-scars that take years to erase. Intensity leads to futility."
So yeah, I'm learning this one fact. And I am currently exercising it now. Giving people space to breathe, think and formulate whatever principles and conclusions they need to.
I'm backing off and exercising restraint and the concept of "distance" where you stay away and let them find and figure out the answer.
Yeah, a hard truth and scarcely practiced principle has been beautifully expounded on in today's passage by Chuck Swindoll and I hope I will digest and internalize his experienced discourse well.
So, BACK OFF! LOL :D
Thursday, 26 September 2013
You can never fall too hard
Chanced upon this awesome song called "Who You Are" by this band called "Unspoken". Powerful lyrics of redemption, hope and change.
Love the chorus and love the tag (the last part of the song) - You can change who you are, at the foot of the cross :)
Who You Are
Unspoken
Christian Contemporary
Verse 1:
I know that look you're giving,
Like you've got something to prove
'Cause I have walked for miles and miles
In that same pair of shoes
You refuse forgiveness
Like it's something to be earned
Sometimes pain's the only way that we can learn
Chorus:
You can never fall too hard,
So fast, so far
That you can't get back
When you're lost
Where you are is never too late,
So bad, so much
That you can't change
Who you are, ooo-oooh
You can change who you are, ooo-oooh
Verse 2:
You believe in freedom,
But you don't know how to choose
You gotta step out of your feelings
That you're so afraid to lose
And everyday
You put your feet on the floor, you gotta walk through the door
It's never gonna be easy
But it's all worth fighting for
Bridge:
So let the ashes fall wherever they land
Come back from wherever you've been
To the foot of the cross
To the feet of Jesus,
The feet of Jesus
Love the chorus and love the tag (the last part of the song) - You can change who you are, at the foot of the cross :)
Who You Are
Unspoken
Christian Contemporary
Verse 1:
I know that look you're giving,
Like you've got something to prove
'Cause I have walked for miles and miles
In that same pair of shoes
You refuse forgiveness
Like it's something to be earned
Sometimes pain's the only way that we can learn
Chorus:
You can never fall too hard,
So fast, so far
That you can't get back
When you're lost
Where you are is never too late,
So bad, so much
That you can't change
Who you are, ooo-oooh
You can change who you are, ooo-oooh
Verse 2:
You believe in freedom,
But you don't know how to choose
You gotta step out of your feelings
That you're so afraid to lose
And everyday
You put your feet on the floor, you gotta walk through the door
It's never gonna be easy
But it's all worth fighting for
Bridge:
So let the ashes fall wherever they land
Come back from wherever you've been
To the foot of the cross
To the feet of Jesus,
The feet of Jesus
Saturday, 21 September 2013
Friendship Woes and Relationship Rows
Ever had a very good friend that you really love and who really loves you too? Yeash, I guess we all have.
Ever fallen out with them over reasons you don't quite know and reasons they don't quite say? And when you try to reason with them they just don't listen? Because they've made their mind that you're wrong or you're always right?
Tell me you have one like that too. What do you do?
Let's call him Gan. If you know him or manage to decode this fake name (combine name + surname), please don't tell him about this because he will not be able to accept what I'm about to ruminate upon (#thinkingaloud).
And please, if you know him, please don't read this post. I don't want you judging him because I still love him a lot. Yup, his public, angelic demeanour will shatter. And it's true for most people.
Once you REALLY get to know a person, you realize how deeply they have mastered the art of masquerading or how they just treat you differently because now, you're good friends.
It's like treating your girlfriend badly after she's yours. Because, you already got her, commitment's there. You've sealed the deal, signed a contract. People know about you and her. So if you treat her bad or coldly, she'll still hang around because she made a commitment to you...until it reaches a breaking point.
And sometimes, it's the same for friendship.
We got that person to be our friend already. Or good friends. Where you call each other exclusive names and really love each other. And then, we begin to take them for granted, begin to impose our expectations on them and begin to judge them.
Here's a few instances of what's happened:
Instance #1
When sharing songs and videos on YouTube, he's only interested in sharing his videos and songs. When I wanna talk about my favourite songs he goes "It doesn't matter. All your songs not nice one."
Happened 2-3 times. I just took it. What can I do or say? We're viewing it on his laptop anyway.
Instance #2
I intro a fishball noodle stall that I thought was awesome. Well, when I ate with 6-7 of my freshies, we all thought it was awesome. Still remember Suyi went "Wow, life is good!" while slurping at the mee pok. LOL!
When he tried it, he didn't like it. And it seemed like he holds my recommendation against me. He'll go "Your fishball noodle stall where got nice?"
And the one time we ate at that canteen - Canteen A - He went "Eh, go eat your fishball noodles la. I thought damm nice?" NOT IN A JOKING TONE. But in a SARCASTIC, SPITEFUL TONE.
And he's harped on it several times like I sinned against him for intro-ing something I thought was nice. Wow. I really am amused. Have I like, misjudged and made friends with such a pure asshole?
For the first 2 instances, I can see that he doesn't understand the word "preference" and he doesn't comprehend the quote "One man's meat is another man's poison".
I also can see how he's only selfishly interested in HIS OWN PREFERENCES. He doesn't care about mine as much as I care about his and how I give ear to his warble.
Many more instances actually...like how he tells me to "slap yourself" and "give yourself one tight slap" and all when I'm late for meeting him (screenshots available)...and like how he told me about his basketball and soccer achievements and all. But that one was done in a more joking tone and I didn't feel the vibe of his selfishness in those moments where he basked in his achievements so yeah.
I know exactly what his pathetic defense will sound like. "Why you take what I say so harshly? I'm always like that what."
That was what I get when I confronted him about such things the first time. To him, the transmitter is always right and the receiver is always wrong; to put it in engineering terms. He is indeed more SELF-RIGHTEOUS than me now. LOL. Totally.
He takes no responsibility for his tone and diction - it's entirely the listener's fault for receiving his message badly. Your interpretation of his message is entirely your problem - the way he says it and the words he uses is CORRECT, no questions asked.
So yeah, here you have someone who irresponsibly shrugs his shoulders and takes no ownership of his words. He can scold you "F*** YOU LA" for all he cares and expects you to take it nicely...following his transmitter-is-always-right logic.
Well maybe I'm too sensitive - which I think I'm not. But there are reasons as to why I felt that way. And that reason is definitely not solely based on my "spoilt antenna" that received the transmitter's message wrongly.
Instance #3
While walking back to hall he suddenly commented "Whoa, actually you are a freeloader leh. Everything free you take."
He made that hurtful statement in context that I went to eat 2 free dinners and am staying in his hall for free.
Here's my justification:
The 1st free dinner...
...was a student leader's night which I was not invited but a lot of my ODAC friends were there. So I just went and joined them for the free buffet dinner lor. They even gave me the name tag of a friend who was not there - that means I'm a legal participant in the event :D HAHAHA!
C'mon la, I have friends that do that all the time. And we do it proudly together and have fun and laugh at those "sneaked in" moments. You call such friends "bros" because they do it with you and share the joy of the "crime".
I'm not expecting him to join me in my "crime", so if he doesn't want, fine. I was simply extending the invitation.
Here's our typed out conversation on whatsapp:
J: haha..nice..dinner?
G: Okay sure
J: free food @ nanyang audi leh. haha.
G: I in hall leh. Dabao for me lor. Haha
J: kthxbye
G: Kthxbye to you too lol. Keep on ask me go back sch
Here's what I meant when I asked him "dinner?":
1) To see if he's free to join me BEFORE informing him of my dinner plan - eat free food.
2) Now that I know he's free, I tell him my dinner plan. If he's ok, yay, let's go. If he's not, I'm going ahead with my dinner plan.
Here's what he interpreted when I asked him "dinner?":
1) I have made a commitment to have dinner with him.
2) He doesn't agree to my plan so I have to change my plans and maintain my "commitment" to him.
See the interpretation clashes? To me, it was a my "plan-is-priority". To him it was a "you-jio-me-I-am-your-priority"
And to me, I WAS THE INITIATOR, so I have the prerogative to decide where to go and if you disagree, as the INITIATOR, I also have the prerogative to say "Ok, never mind then. See you around"
To put it in layman terms, let's give an everyday example:
Friend: Hey man, wanna go dinner?
You: Yup where?
Friend: I wanna go power nasi lemak. Wanna join?
You: Whoa so far ah. I in hall leh, don't wanna go out leh. Never mind la.
Friend: Ok. See you around then :D
Do you see how the progression goes? Do you expect the "friend" to change his already made plans to suit "you"?
Here's what'll happen if you put Gan's reaction in:
Friend: Hey man, wanna go dinner?
Gan: Okay sure
Friend: We going power nasi lemak. Wanna join?
Gan: Whoa so far ah. I in hall leh. Dabao for me lor. Haha
Friend: Kthxbye
Gan: Kthxbye to you too. Keep asking me to go out of sch
Ok, here's the thing, Gan takes it personally against him that I pang-seh him. The fact that I asked him for dinner means I've signed a till-dinner-do-us-part contract with him.
You see in the scenario above, it would be normal for the friend who doesn't want to go with the initiator's plan to say "You all go ahead without me lor."
BUT NO. I MUST REMAIN FAITHFUL TO THE ONE I HAVE PLEDGED MY DINNER ALLEGIANCE TO.
I hope I am making perfect sense here.
He made making such a chillax dinner invitation into a till-dinner-do-us-part contract that it's just...absurd. Why the expectation of such heavy commitment? Between friends, if you don't like their plan, you don't go. Peace out. No problem.
But he comes around and accuses me of pang-seh-ing him. Bravo him. *round of applause please* LOL.
So yeah. I bet he's thinking right now "Yalar, say what you want la, you're always right." Just like how his CONCLUDED accusation of me "pang-seh-ing" him is always right lor.
The main reason why I jio him is because I wanna include him and this is what I get in return. Therefore, from then on, no more meal invitations. I don't wanna re-live such sickening moments of being accused.
The 2nd free dinner...
...was my friend's CCA - IES (Institute of Engineers Singapore). They had an AGM. AND I SAT IN FOR THE AGM! Because they were short of engineers attending the AGM. So that dinner WAS EARNED! LOL!
And yeah, planned to go for the free dinner from the start already. So once again, the same scenario erupted as above. I AM THE SINFUL PANG-SEH-ING ONE. I must repent.
Free hall stay
On 2nd July 2013 when I asked him on whatsapp "Can I leech? Like squat in your hall as and when. haha" and his reply "Ya ok. You my deary how can don't let you. Lol." I was still in Korea when we're catching up on whatsapp. I have the screenshot of it if he challenges me to it.
We actually spoke about this in canteen 9 and his defense was "That time I supposed to room with Wee Lee so can let you stay, but now my roomy different."
Well, in the 2nd July 2013 chat I ALSO asked him "Who's the other roomy?", he's reply was "I dunno yet". So it shows that he already knew his roomy was not Wee Lee.
When I shattered his defense by showing him our whatsapp conversation, his reply was "Aiya, I don't know la. You always come play with words."
WOW. I'm showing him evidence of our conversation and this is his reply. I really am amused and amazed at how blind and insistent people can sometimes be to JUST BE IN THE RIGHT.
So yeah, he didn't mention payment at all. And from our conversations, it's crystal clear that he's allowing me to stay based on account of our friendship.
Ok, maybe I stayed longer than expected because it took so long for me to get my hall. And yes, maybe I should have the decency to pay him because I already stayed for like 2 months.
But the thing is, he didn't request for payment. So am I supposed to automatically pay him? And it's not like I can't pay him. I can pay for he and his roomy to stay in hall for all four years if they want. It's not about the money...it's about the unspoken expectation that was uncommunicated.
So yeah, I'm a freeloader. I guess you reached that conclusion too after all these? Haha. Judge me or vindicate me please.
And I have screenshots to prove all of these. It's all in my whatsapp chat history.
And, just to mention for the sake of mentioning, last year, I gave him my friend's hall after I got my own hall. He was really thankful. And I was just being me...it's normal to do favours for your friends right?
I didn't like charge him extra. I could've charged a stranger extra if they wanted my hall. And yes they'll pay extra to stay. But it's on account of our friendship that I just gave it to him.
I'm saying this not because I expect him to return the favour by allowing me to stay. If he doesn't allow me to stay, I'm fine. If he said it from the start "No, I don't want the inconvenience of housing you." I'd have been cool about it. At least you're honest. But the thing is, he voluntarily agreed to let me stay.
Fact is, it's not like I NEED TO STAY IN HALL. I can squat in other friend's halls or just travel to school everyday. He's NOT INDISPENSABLE.
So yeah. Point made. And I'm pretty sure, he'll be really pissed if he reads this. Because, he is unable/unwilling to answer all these questions and pointers which I bring forward. To him, "it doesn't matter". I wonder what is his definition of "friendship".
WHAT NOW?
I can choose these options:
1) Pay him and shift out to my other friend's hall to make it clear that - I can pay. I'm no freeloader and I DON'T NEED YOUR STINKIN' HALL.
2) Pay him and stay on and see what happens after I appease his unspoken money-based anger.
3) Don't pay him and shift out to my other friend's hall to make it clear that - I'M A FREELOADER and THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.
At least this freeloader has friends who's willing to accommodate him on account of friendship.
4) Don't pay him and stay on and see how things roll.
I'm inclined to options number 1 and 2.
Option 4 is really being an thick-skinned ass but hey, so what? Consider the facts I've laid and there's no reason for me to budge because he voluntarily accepted my request to squat and didn't ask for payment. So need I budge?
Through all these I can tell that he doesn't love me as how I did and would. Small money issues? And selfish issues? Having all those unspoken expectations shows that he really doesn't love me enough to communicate what's essential to keep our relationship going.
Anyway, it's not wrong to be selfish, because we are all selfish in our own special way. Haha. But that means, I'm gonna distance myself from him because he's draining me.
Yup, what would you do if you were in my shoes?
Note that I still love him a lot ok? And I choose to continue loving him. And note that he's not open to reasoning because he thinks I'm always right and he's just out to prove me wrong - usually without proper logic or basis but by pure insisting that I'm wrong.
For me now, I've given up trying to talk to him. Everything that passes through his filter of judgement will only come out as negative, wrong, not-trustworthy, etc...I really don't know what I did that led him to this.
But yeah, this is the thing we gotta learn and accept. People are like that. Sometimes you do things that they hold so strongly against you without telling you. And it grows and mountains into something that destroys the whole relationship.
That's why my best friends are always those who are LOVINGLY honest with me, even when honesty is hard. Friends that love you like that are rare. Pray for such friends.
So yeah. I pray we'll go over this smoothly. Be the Lord of our friendship Jesus. Amen. :)
Ever fallen out with them over reasons you don't quite know and reasons they don't quite say? And when you try to reason with them they just don't listen? Because they've made their mind that you're wrong or you're always right?
Tell me you have one like that too. What do you do?
Let's call him Gan. If you know him or manage to decode this fake name (combine name + surname), please don't tell him about this because he will not be able to accept what I'm about to ruminate upon (#thinkingaloud).
And please, if you know him, please don't read this post. I don't want you judging him because I still love him a lot. Yup, his public, angelic demeanour will shatter. And it's true for most people.
Once you REALLY get to know a person, you realize how deeply they have mastered the art of masquerading or how they just treat you differently because now, you're good friends.
It's like treating your girlfriend badly after she's yours. Because, you already got her, commitment's there. You've sealed the deal, signed a contract. People know about you and her. So if you treat her bad or coldly, she'll still hang around because she made a commitment to you...until it reaches a breaking point.
And sometimes, it's the same for friendship.
We got that person to be our friend already. Or good friends. Where you call each other exclusive names and really love each other. And then, we begin to take them for granted, begin to impose our expectations on them and begin to judge them.
Here's a few instances of what's happened:
Instance #1
When sharing songs and videos on YouTube, he's only interested in sharing his videos and songs. When I wanna talk about my favourite songs he goes "It doesn't matter. All your songs not nice one."
Happened 2-3 times. I just took it. What can I do or say? We're viewing it on his laptop anyway.
Instance #2
I intro a fishball noodle stall that I thought was awesome. Well, when I ate with 6-7 of my freshies, we all thought it was awesome. Still remember Suyi went "Wow, life is good!" while slurping at the mee pok. LOL!
When he tried it, he didn't like it. And it seemed like he holds my recommendation against me. He'll go "Your fishball noodle stall where got nice?"
And the one time we ate at that canteen - Canteen A - He went "Eh, go eat your fishball noodles la. I thought damm nice?" NOT IN A JOKING TONE. But in a SARCASTIC, SPITEFUL TONE.
And he's harped on it several times like I sinned against him for intro-ing something I thought was nice. Wow. I really am amused. Have I like, misjudged and made friends with such a pure asshole?
For the first 2 instances, I can see that he doesn't understand the word "preference" and he doesn't comprehend the quote "One man's meat is another man's poison".
I also can see how he's only selfishly interested in HIS OWN PREFERENCES. He doesn't care about mine as much as I care about his and how I give ear to his warble.
Many more instances actually...like how he tells me to "slap yourself" and "give yourself one tight slap" and all when I'm late for meeting him (screenshots available)...and like how he told me about his basketball and soccer achievements and all. But that one was done in a more joking tone and I didn't feel the vibe of his selfishness in those moments where he basked in his achievements so yeah.
I know exactly what his pathetic defense will sound like. "Why you take what I say so harshly? I'm always like that what."
That was what I get when I confronted him about such things the first time. To him, the transmitter is always right and the receiver is always wrong; to put it in engineering terms. He is indeed more SELF-RIGHTEOUS than me now. LOL. Totally.
He takes no responsibility for his tone and diction - it's entirely the listener's fault for receiving his message badly. Your interpretation of his message is entirely your problem - the way he says it and the words he uses is CORRECT, no questions asked.
So yeah, here you have someone who irresponsibly shrugs his shoulders and takes no ownership of his words. He can scold you "F*** YOU LA" for all he cares and expects you to take it nicely...following his transmitter-is-always-right logic.
Well maybe I'm too sensitive - which I think I'm not. But there are reasons as to why I felt that way. And that reason is definitely not solely based on my "spoilt antenna" that received the transmitter's message wrongly.
Instance #3
While walking back to hall he suddenly commented "Whoa, actually you are a freeloader leh. Everything free you take."
He made that hurtful statement in context that I went to eat 2 free dinners and am staying in his hall for free.
Here's my justification:
The 1st free dinner...
...was a student leader's night which I was not invited but a lot of my ODAC friends were there. So I just went and joined them for the free buffet dinner lor. They even gave me the name tag of a friend who was not there - that means I'm a legal participant in the event :D HAHAHA!
C'mon la, I have friends that do that all the time. And we do it proudly together and have fun and laugh at those "sneaked in" moments. You call such friends "bros" because they do it with you and share the joy of the "crime".
I'm not expecting him to join me in my "crime", so if he doesn't want, fine. I was simply extending the invitation.
Here's our typed out conversation on whatsapp:
J: haha..nice..dinner?
G: Okay sure
J: free food @ nanyang audi leh. haha.
G: I in hall leh. Dabao for me lor. Haha
J: kthxbye
G: Kthxbye to you too lol. Keep on ask me go back sch
Here's what I meant when I asked him "dinner?":
1) To see if he's free to join me BEFORE informing him of my dinner plan - eat free food.
2) Now that I know he's free, I tell him my dinner plan. If he's ok, yay, let's go. If he's not, I'm going ahead with my dinner plan.
Here's what he interpreted when I asked him "dinner?":
1) I have made a commitment to have dinner with him.
2) He doesn't agree to my plan so I have to change my plans and maintain my "commitment" to him.
See the interpretation clashes? To me, it was a my "plan-is-priority". To him it was a "you-jio-me-I-am-your-priority"
And to me, I WAS THE INITIATOR, so I have the prerogative to decide where to go and if you disagree, as the INITIATOR, I also have the prerogative to say "Ok, never mind then. See you around"
To put it in layman terms, let's give an everyday example:
Friend: Hey man, wanna go dinner?
You: Yup where?
Friend: I wanna go power nasi lemak. Wanna join?
You: Whoa so far ah. I in hall leh, don't wanna go out leh. Never mind la.
Friend: Ok. See you around then :D
Do you see how the progression goes? Do you expect the "friend" to change his already made plans to suit "you"?
Here's what'll happen if you put Gan's reaction in:
Friend: Hey man, wanna go dinner?
Gan: Okay sure
Friend: We going power nasi lemak. Wanna join?
Gan: Whoa so far ah. I in hall leh. Dabao for me lor. Haha
Friend: Kthxbye
Gan: Kthxbye to you too. Keep asking me to go out of sch
Ok, here's the thing, Gan takes it personally against him that I pang-seh him. The fact that I asked him for dinner means I've signed a till-dinner-do-us-part contract with him.
You see in the scenario above, it would be normal for the friend who doesn't want to go with the initiator's plan to say "You all go ahead without me lor."
BUT NO. I MUST REMAIN FAITHFUL TO THE ONE I HAVE PLEDGED MY DINNER ALLEGIANCE TO.
I hope I am making perfect sense here.
He made making such a chillax dinner invitation into a till-dinner-do-us-part contract that it's just...absurd. Why the expectation of such heavy commitment? Between friends, if you don't like their plan, you don't go. Peace out. No problem.
But he comes around and accuses me of pang-seh-ing him. Bravo him. *round of applause please* LOL.
So yeah. I bet he's thinking right now "Yalar, say what you want la, you're always right." Just like how his CONCLUDED accusation of me "pang-seh-ing" him is always right lor.
The main reason why I jio him is because I wanna include him and this is what I get in return. Therefore, from then on, no more meal invitations. I don't wanna re-live such sickening moments of being accused.
The 2nd free dinner...
...was my friend's CCA - IES (Institute of Engineers Singapore). They had an AGM. AND I SAT IN FOR THE AGM! Because they were short of engineers attending the AGM. So that dinner WAS EARNED! LOL!
And yeah, planned to go for the free dinner from the start already. So once again, the same scenario erupted as above. I AM THE SINFUL PANG-SEH-ING ONE. I must repent.
Free hall stay
On 2nd July 2013 when I asked him on whatsapp "Can I leech? Like squat in your hall as and when. haha" and his reply "Ya ok. You my deary how can don't let you. Lol." I was still in Korea when we're catching up on whatsapp. I have the screenshot of it if he challenges me to it.
We actually spoke about this in canteen 9 and his defense was "That time I supposed to room with Wee Lee so can let you stay, but now my roomy different."
Well, in the 2nd July 2013 chat I ALSO asked him "Who's the other roomy?", he's reply was "I dunno yet". So it shows that he already knew his roomy was not Wee Lee.
When I shattered his defense by showing him our whatsapp conversation, his reply was "Aiya, I don't know la. You always come play with words."
WOW. I'm showing him evidence of our conversation and this is his reply. I really am amused and amazed at how blind and insistent people can sometimes be to JUST BE IN THE RIGHT.
So yeah, he didn't mention payment at all. And from our conversations, it's crystal clear that he's allowing me to stay based on account of our friendship.
Ok, maybe I stayed longer than expected because it took so long for me to get my hall. And yes, maybe I should have the decency to pay him because I already stayed for like 2 months.
But the thing is, he didn't request for payment. So am I supposed to automatically pay him? And it's not like I can't pay him. I can pay for he and his roomy to stay in hall for all four years if they want. It's not about the money...it's about the unspoken expectation that was uncommunicated.
So yeah, I'm a freeloader. I guess you reached that conclusion too after all these? Haha. Judge me or vindicate me please.
And I have screenshots to prove all of these. It's all in my whatsapp chat history.
And, just to mention for the sake of mentioning, last year, I gave him my friend's hall after I got my own hall. He was really thankful. And I was just being me...it's normal to do favours for your friends right?
I didn't like charge him extra. I could've charged a stranger extra if they wanted my hall. And yes they'll pay extra to stay. But it's on account of our friendship that I just gave it to him.
I'm saying this not because I expect him to return the favour by allowing me to stay. If he doesn't allow me to stay, I'm fine. If he said it from the start "No, I don't want the inconvenience of housing you." I'd have been cool about it. At least you're honest. But the thing is, he voluntarily agreed to let me stay.
Fact is, it's not like I NEED TO STAY IN HALL. I can squat in other friend's halls or just travel to school everyday. He's NOT INDISPENSABLE.
So yeah. Point made. And I'm pretty sure, he'll be really pissed if he reads this. Because, he is unable/unwilling to answer all these questions and pointers which I bring forward. To him, "it doesn't matter". I wonder what is his definition of "friendship".
WHAT NOW?
I can choose these options:
1) Pay him and shift out to my other friend's hall to make it clear that - I can pay. I'm no freeloader and I DON'T NEED YOUR STINKIN' HALL.
2) Pay him and stay on and see what happens after I appease his unspoken money-based anger.
3) Don't pay him and shift out to my other friend's hall to make it clear that - I'M A FREELOADER and THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.
At least this freeloader has friends who's willing to accommodate him on account of friendship.
4) Don't pay him and stay on and see how things roll.
I'm inclined to options number 1 and 2.
Option 4 is really being an thick-skinned ass but hey, so what? Consider the facts I've laid and there's no reason for me to budge because he voluntarily accepted my request to squat and didn't ask for payment. So need I budge?
Through all these I can tell that he doesn't love me as how I did and would. Small money issues? And selfish issues? Having all those unspoken expectations shows that he really doesn't love me enough to communicate what's essential to keep our relationship going.
Anyway, it's not wrong to be selfish, because we are all selfish in our own special way. Haha. But that means, I'm gonna distance myself from him because he's draining me.
Yup, what would you do if you were in my shoes?
Note that I still love him a lot ok? And I choose to continue loving him. And note that he's not open to reasoning because he thinks I'm always right and he's just out to prove me wrong - usually without proper logic or basis but by pure insisting that I'm wrong.
For me now, I've given up trying to talk to him. Everything that passes through his filter of judgement will only come out as negative, wrong, not-trustworthy, etc...I really don't know what I did that led him to this.
But yeah, this is the thing we gotta learn and accept. People are like that. Sometimes you do things that they hold so strongly against you without telling you. And it grows and mountains into something that destroys the whole relationship.
That's why my best friends are always those who are LOVINGLY honest with me, even when honesty is hard. Friends that love you like that are rare. Pray for such friends.
So yeah. I pray we'll go over this smoothly. Be the Lord of our friendship Jesus. Amen. :)
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