Even if the healing doesn't come

I was about my photo editing as usual with my earpiece on and with the “Believer” album by Kutless playing into my ears in my apartment in 上海浦东新区718弄5号201室.

That was when the lyrics of these two songs: “All Yours” and “Even If” pierced my heart at 2am. I knew God was speaking to me. But it was 2am!

Here's the lyric video of these 2 awesome, heart-piercing, life-changing, truth-bringing songs :)

So the next morning I played these 2 songs again and took my guitar and had my “date” with God. I only sang the chorus of “Even If” once. The second time, my heart broke and tears was already uncontrollably streaming down my face.

The lyrics of the chorus were potent:

Even if the healing doesn't come 

And life falls apart, and dreams are still undone 

You are God, You are good, forever faithful One 

Even if the healing, even if the healing doesn't come 

I know it's a season of healing for one of my dearest friends in my life now. And it’s been working out good. I've seen how much she's grown and how much I've also grown through this lil' "mission". We've got sooo many stories and we've built a really strong friendship around Christ.

Through this song God asked me “What if the healing doesn't come? And what if everything that's been built falls apart?"

As I sang the part “You are God, You are good, forever faithful One” my heart broke and tears just flow as I began weeping and acknowledging His love and sovereignty over our relationship :)

The next thing He told me is He is more interested in me than in whatever He’s asking me to do. The “healing mission” He assigned me is SECONDARY. Should there be no healing, He will still love me and love her because He is good, He’s forever faithful.

Thirdly, He is jealous for me! Sometimes I love the things of this world and my friends more than Him! And God is JEALOUS FOR ME! I began to break even further because I realized that He loves me SOOO MUCH!

Here’s a cosmic, transcendent creator loving His depraved, undeserving creation! But, to this extent? Wow. I felt Him say through Chris Tomlin's song lyrics from his song "Indescribable":

You see the depths of my heart
Yet you love me the same

You are amazing God

He loves me so much that He’s jealous when I don’t love Him as much! My heart is totally warmed and moved by the fact that there is a God that radically and relentlessly loves me!

I felt overwhelmed by His embrace and love that I couldn't stop weeping out loud. And I began to confess that He can strip everything away and what He’ll find is just a naked me clinging on to Him for dear life. Because He’s my everything :)

I then confessed that He can test my love for Him and I know He will test my love for Him. And He reminded me of Job and I began to weep further as I confessed:

“I dare You to test me God.

I dare You to break me.

Because I know You will restore me.

I know You will hold me.” 

And the song “All Yours” by Kutless began to further break me down:

It’s all Yours, anyway

You gave me life to give it away

It’s all Yours anyway

With blood you bought my broken heart

So here I am, take everything

It’s all Yours anyway

At the end of it all, He added one line to my song “There’s a Love that’s Stronger”. It’s the same tune as the last few lines of the bridge:

Knowing that You’re in our hearts 

Doing something bigger than who we are 

I should be recording this song soon. It's an awesome song dropped into my heart to remind my dear friend who's going through a rough patch that, there's a love that's stronger - Christ's love.

The takeaway from this session?

It’s a HUGE reassurance that God knows what’s He’s doing in my life.

He’s got it all planned. He loves me and He is jealous for me.

He’s not as interested in what I can do as to who I am becoming.

He is bringing me to another level of surrender as I confess that “it’s all Yours, anyway, You gave me life to give it away”

Love You, Jesus. With all my heart, soul, strength and being. I’ve lost myself for good within Your love, hope and promise :)

Daddy's letter to his little girl

Came across this post by Dr. Kelly Flanagan at this URL shared on Facebook: http://drkellyflanagan.com/2013/04/17/a-daddys-letter-to-his-little-girl-about-her-future-husband/

It's about him writing a letter to his daughter to tell her what kinda guy to choose next time. His words make tons of sense and it is indeed rare wisdom found in today's hedonistic and superficial culture.

I totally love the way he signed-off at the end. :) Awww :') I shall aspire to be that kinda guy :) Yup, let this post shed some light in your soul :)

Dear Cutie Pie,

Recently, your mother and I were searching for an answer on Google. Halfway through entering the question, Google returned a list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list was “How to keep him interested.”

It startled me. I scanned several of the countless articles about how to be sexy and sexual, when to bring him a beer versus a sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior.

And I got angry.

Little One, it is not, has never been, and never will be your job to “keep him interested.”

Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your soul—in that unshakable place that isn't rattled by rejection and loss and ego—that you are worthy of interest. (If you can remember that everyone else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that is a letter for another day.)

If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word: you will attract a boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all of his interest in you.

Little One, I want to tell you about the boy who doesn't need to be kept interested, because he knows you are interesting:

I don’t care if he puts his elbows on the dinner table—as long as he puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches when you smile. And then can’t stop looking.

I don’t care if he can’t play a bit of golf with me—as long as he can play with the children you give him and revel in all the glorious and frustrating ways they are just like you.

I don’t care if he doesn’t follow his wallet—as long as he follows his heart and it always leads him back to you.

I don’t care if he is strong—as long as he gives you the space to exercise the strength that is in your heart.

I couldn’t care less how he votes—as long as he wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence in his heart.

I don’t care about the color of his skin—as long as he paints the canvas of your lives with brushstrokes of patience, and sacrifice, and vulnerability, and tenderness.

I don’t care if he was raised in this religion or that religion or no religion—as long as he was raised to value the sacred and to know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, is deeply sacred.

In the end, Little One, if you stumble across a man like that and he and I have nothing else in common, we will have the most important thing in common:

You.

Because in the end, Little One, the only thing you should have to do to “keep him interested” is to be you.

Your eternally interested guy,
Daddy

One Life Twill Soon Be Past...

Ok, before I start on this post...Just wanna say I've been too busy playing, planning trips, going out, having fun that I have no time to blog about all my adventures here in China. Haha!

The most updated database of my adventures is on Instagram, which will give you the important snapshots of my adventures :) Facebook is the most comprehensive database of all my expeditions here. The full wealth of photos are all there.

But of course, here, you'll find the best shots, enlarged and the story behind the pictures :) And you'll also find restricted pictures. LOL. Maybe, maybe not.

Anyway, had a really, random, awesome day today. Here's how it went:

Me & Chor Seng woke up late for work. We're supposed to leave house by 7.50am latest 8am and we woke up at 7.45am. Kthxbye.

Rushed out without shaving, without touching my hair and without my usual cornflakes + cereal breakfast...and I realized later in the day, we have a dinner appointment with a group of friends! -.- HAHAHA!

Nevertheless, I think I still look awesome. Haha! Kah Wei also remarked "Your hair ok what." :D HAHA! Yup, he's my colleague and fellow intern sent here from NTU.

I was on Facebook and I happened to see that one of my friends, a FOOT'12 freshie, Vernon Chow, liked his friend's comment on the recent tide of Facebook confessions page.

This is what Kenneth Chew (Vernon's friend) said:

"Confessions" that no longer require a repentant heart? "Confessing" to present the cool image? To be understood? Another word redefined by post-modern hipsters seeking attention. Seriously, people with so much excess energy ought to just lift."

I was like "Wow". I see so much vision in his words and an understanding of society and culture there. And he sounded all too Christian.

True enough, when I read his Facebook bio, he is a strong, devout, Christian. As he described himself, I could hear his heart for Christ. And his passion for apologetics, music and the way he describes himself about how he thinks a lot and how he is a confrontational person really resounded and reverberated within me.

I felt like I could feel him, understand him and we possess the very same qualities. Even his writing style is fierce and direct like mine. Wow.

I didn't even need to look at his profile picture (I did in the end. LOL) and pictures of him and I'm already like totally attracted to his character and wanna know this guy.

So I just dropped him a Facebook message:

"Just wanted to say, amazing write-up on yourself on your Facebook page! Stumbled on your post about recent tide of 'confessions page' via Vernon Chow.

I'm also highly passionate about Christian apologetics, music (songwriter, singer, worship leader Hee :D) and Jesus Christ. I also am a man of a million words and a billion thoughts.

Loved your quotes as well. Haha. For me, I declare all these much more comprehensively on my blog. Haha.

Anyway, just wanted to say "Hi" and tell you that whatever you've typed is amazing. Prolific writers and thinkers like you are rare in today's hedonistic, depraved and instant-gratification generation. Yup, I really believe God will use you mightily in His time to turn this generation back to Him

Sorry for being so random...but yeah, I am this random HAHA! God bless!"

I was telling Yiling & Xuan Qi "hopefully we can become awesome friends, fight and die for the same cause". I see so much strength and vision in his words and so much similarity and focused passion in him.

On the other hand, someone also sent me a random Facebook message telling me that he's really encouraged by what I typed in my Facebook bio too. Haha! That guy went something like "Wow your write up is awesome! I didn't know you could share Christ like that!" But mine wasn't as comprehensive and lengthy as Kenneth's. Haha.

Anyway, hours later, Kenneth's reply came "That's very nice of you I appreciate the gesture! Well, thank you! (and hello as well). I must tell Vernon that he's got pretty cool friends God bless you too!"

I was like -_-" Ok...Since he didn't wanna talk more, it's fine. Haha! I also didn't really reply and "entertain" the other guy who pm-ed me. HAHA!

Yup, that was a totally random story that I had to share...Because this is the first time I'm doing something like that. HAHA!

Lastly, I found this awesome poem by C.T Studd. The line "Only one life, 'twill soon be past, only what's done for Christ will last." has been used by many preachers, and one of them, I clearly remember, is Ps Peter Chng from Bethel Assembly :)

So here's the full poem. Let the rhyme and diction impact you :)

“Two little lines I heard one day, 

Traveling along life’s busy way; 

Bringing conviction to my heart, 

And from my mind would not depart; 

Only one life, ’twill soon be past, 

Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Only one life, yes only one, 

Soon will its fleeting hours be done; 

Then, in ‘that day’ my Lord to meet, 

And stand before His Judgement seat; 

Only one life,’twill soon be past, 

Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Only one life, the still small voice, 

Gently pleads for a better choice 

Bidding me selfish aims to leave, 

And to God’s holy will to cleave; 

Only one life, ’twill soon be past, 

Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Only one life, a few brief years, 

Each with its burdens, hopes, and fears; 

Each with its clays I must fulfill, 

living for self or in His will; 

Only one life, ’twill soon be past, 

Only what’s done for Christ will last.

When this bright world would tempt me sore, 

When Satan would a victory score; 

When self would seek to have its way, 

Then help me Lord with joy to say; 

Only one life, ’twill soon be past, 

Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Give me Father, a purpose deep, 

In joy or sorrow Thy word to keep; 

Faithful and true what e’er the strife, 

Pleasing Thee in my daily life; 

Only one life, ’twill soon be past, 

Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Oh let my love with fervor burn, 

And from the world now let me turn; 

Living for Thee, and Thee alone, 

Bringing Thee pleasure on Thy throne; 

Only one life, “twill soon be past, 

Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Only one life, yes only one, 

Now let me say,”Thy will be done”; 

And when at last I’ll hear the call, 

I know I’ll say “twas worth it all”; 

Only one life,’twill soon be past, 

Only what’s done for Christ will last. ”

— extra stanza —

Only one life, ’twill soon be past, 

Only what’s done for Christ will last. 

And when I am dying, how happy I’ll be, 

If the lamp of my life has been burned out for Thee.”

C.T. Studd

Yup, in a the blink of an eye, I'm halfway through my attachment already!! :( And I'm really attached to my friends and life here :( 

It really is indeed an attachment period. HAHA! A time where we can all run away from Singapore together and discover things, play and have fun :)

This is definitely the highlight of my entire university life and probably my whole life :) Yup, will update my adventures when I have the time!! Thousands of photos to edit and millions of words to type! Gimme time! :)