Grace & Truth

This sermon was actually preached like 2 weeks ago in Heart of God church by Pastor Jamaal Bernard. I wasn't too impressed with his sermon (ikr..consumer Christian mentality...but it's a reality...face it) because his delivery wasn't all too good.

When you're in a church with fantastic preachers like Ps How and Ps Lia, any other preacher that comes short of their engaging, relevant, thought-provoking, and funny preaching style will be hard to swallow.

Face it. Let's say you eat char kway teow at this stall and it's SOOOO GOOODDD. Next time, your friend cooks you char kway teow as well and it simply falls short of the one you've eaten and what's the most you do? Give a polite and accommodating "Yeah, it's good! Thanks!" as you reluctantly down the rest of your friend's kway teow.

Same here. Not trying to put him down or what but...it's just...short of what we've been receiving every week. Yep. That wasn't the main point. LOL. But yeah, point made. Haha.

Ok where was I? Oh, yup, not an impressive sermon. But little did I know that this sermon is exactly what I need to know and apply in my life.

I just came back from dinner at can 14 - their 板面 is awesome. Suyi & I ate there for like an hour and a half. Ok, we didn't eat all the way, we were talking for about an hour.

So, as we were eating, the cleaner ah-ma came by and told us the first time to clear our bowls when we're done. And we're like, "yeah, sure...ok...DUH." I didn't add the "duh" part la...Duhhh...haha

So after about 45minutes she came by again and told us a second time to clear our own bowls. I was like...YES I KNOW.

Finally, after an 1hour15minutes, she grudgingly walked over with a black face, and cleared our bowls. Suyi thanked her and she stared at her with that buey-song face. After the ah-ma left, Suyi was like "Whoa, she give me the angry stare leh".

I was like "That's her problem la. There's no hurry to clear the bowls what. Don't know why she so kan chiong. The more she kan chiong, the earlier she gonna die". I said that out loud because I was really pissed with that ah-ma.

Suyi was like *anxiously turning around to see if the ah-ma heard it* and all. But yeah, she didn't. If not, our 板面 bowls would probably be my head gear for that evening. HAHA.

With her eyes still wide with shock she said "Very bad leh you"

I was like "True what. Kan chiong will die earlier what. Anyway, got time limit to clear the bowls meh? Or got time limit for us to sit here meh?"

"I'm very rational. So long you don't have a good reason to feel what you're feeling and if you let your irrational emotions and feelings affect me, I'm gonna bloody bring my rational response to your face."

With that, we continued warming our seats as our conversations went on for another 15minutes.

Yeah, I was really pissed with that ah-ma. Totally no ground for her to be moody or angry with us. WE WERE GOING TO CLEAR OUR BOWLS WHEN WE'RE DONE. DON'T GIVE ME THAT BLOODY FACE OR I'LL MAKE IT BLOODY.

Haha. Anyway, as I was walking back and thinking of all these I realized that right there, right then, was a decision for me to make between grace and truth.

I could be gracious and simply said "谢谢aunty帮我们收碗。Sorry 我们坐这样久啊。很多话谈啦。哈哈。辛苦你了，谢谢！"

She probably would have been mollified and probably even smiled and that would've made her day...or rather, make her night.

And EVEN IF the ah-ma was still angry with us and gave us an angry response, I could STILL be gracious and maybe just, walk away. After all, is walking away that hard?

Now that is the picture of GRACE.

However, if you were to view this situation objectively, you would know that the cleaner ah-ma had no grounds to be angry with us. We were going to clear our bowls after all. She had no right to chase us away for sitting too long or even be angry with us for returning the bowls so long after we're done.

Following the logic of TRUTH, telling the ah-ma off and standing our ground would be fine. Because it is only right for us to stay and talk. It is our rights. We are customers, we paid for the food. In fact, we pay SCHOOL FEES. We contribute to her salary!

True? Yes. It's true.

However, the greater question is "SO WHAT?"

SO WHAT do you gain by following the TRUTH logic - standing your ground and insisting on your rights? Ok, we get to sit and talk a little longer...and I would have effectively spoilt the ah-ma's day, making her swallow a mouthful of "justice"

SO WHAT do you gain by following the GRACE logic - thanking the ah-ma and apologizing for hogging the seats and acknowledging her hard work? Well, I would have effectively made her day. Even if she were to still give a moody reaction, deep inside, she'll still feel that "hey, at least someone bothers to thank me and tell me 辛苦你了 :)"

I'm sure the picture of grace is a much prettier picture to behold than the picture of truth.

Will relinquishing your rights and esteeming others' hurt you?

I've known this truth for ages. Just that, we never practice this. We just want things our way, our rights, our benefits...all about I, me, myself - the unholy trinity.

This is the very thing that God has been speaking to me all this while too. The very issue that I'm also grappling with.

So what Jonavan? So what if you're right and they're wrong? So what if your friends failed to love you the way you loved them? So what if your friends failed to trust you even after all you've built? So what if they forget all you've ever done and turn their back against you for something trivial? So what if they exhibited all the wrong communication principles and definitions of love? So what if your leaders screw up and made mistakes and refused to admit them? So what if they've got some definitions and doctrines wrong? So what?? Etc...

These are things He's been convicting me for years already I guess. The battle in my mind is still ongoing. But my heart knows what to do.

My heart tells me to love and let go of my dogmatic iron-fisted grip on the truth. Because by holding on to all these, it changes nothing. It doesn't change them. It only estranges our relationship. LOVE is what changes people. Not dogma.

I will do that. In time to come. When the time is right; when somehow, things start to fall into place without my initiation.

Meanwhile, my mind tells me "Why give in? You're right. Stick to your principles! Don't stoop so low for those low-life, stupid, numskull-ed pussies that don't understand principles like these. They'll learn them one day! They're just non-enlightened beings still wallowing in the grime of the gutter. Don't waste your time on them! They're not worth it!"

Reconciling these two really takes a lot of time and effort. It requires a lot of prayer, meditation and worship. Basically, I needa spend a lot more time with God and align my thoughts and principles with His.

Jesus may have wrestled with all these thoughts too. If he did, it was on a magnitude that's 10000 times worst than mine, because He is GOD. He has EVERY RIGHT and it's but normal for Him to feel a sense of entitlement to everything! After all, He created everything! All we see, is as it is, because He is the creator and sustainer of all things.

Imagine if Jesus took the TRUTH-logic approach and went:

"I am the Son of God you low-life bastards! Bunch of blind scumbags! How dare you reject me and turn away from me when I'm sent here to save you? Crucify me? You think that pathetic, low-grade carpentry can kill me? Fools. Bunch of dumb-ass dimwits! I created life! I created wood for you to build that cross! Gosh. Here I am trying to save you and there you are thwarting my plans. Bunch of retards! You're not worth my time. Get lost! Die!"

If Jesus actually took that approach, we wouldn't be singing songs of "His love and mercy", "Thy loving kindness", "Lest I forget Gethsamane", "At the cross", "Power of Your Love" etc...

He'd be remembered as one heck of a tyrant that wiped out his entire colony...if there were any of us left after He rages.

Jesus took the path of GRACE. He did not take the path of truth and make us swallow the hard facts.

This is the God I know. The God who loves us even though we've continually sinned against Him, even though we've continually went against His order of design.

This is the road God wants me to take. This is the thing He's been speaking to me for quite some time. But you know what? It's not easy.

If you think it is, I'll hire that ah-ma to antagonize you when you're having a good dinner and hearty chat and we'll see how easy it is...for you to slip up and walk the road of making her swallow the truth.

10 Habits of Happy Couples

Found this site - http://www.alternet.org/sex-amp-relationships/10-habits-happy-couples - shared by my Facebook friends called "10 Habits of Happy Couples". I couldn't agree more to what it says.

Personally, I think number 4 and 5 are the hardest to emulate. Once 4 & 5 are in place. The rest will fall in together naturally.

Unfortunately, this is what most couples or people don't have. When put to the grind, relationships crumble entirely because of these 2 pointers.

Hais, when will we learn?

Here's the entire content pasted here.

1. Go to bed at the same time
Remember the beginning of your relationship, when you couldn’t wait to go to bed with each other to make love? Happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times. They go to bed at the same time, even if one partner wakes up later to do things while their partner sleeps. And when their skins touch it still causes each of them to tingle unless one or both are too completely exhausted to feel sexually excited.

2. Cultivate common interests
After the passion settles down, it’s common to realize that you have few interests in common. But don’t minimize the importance of activities you can do together that you both enjoy. If common interests are not present, happy couples develop them. At the same time, be sure to cultivate interests of your own; this will make you more interesting to your mate and prevent you from appearing too dependent.

3. Walk hand in hand or side by side
Rather than one partner lagging or dragging behind the other, happy couples walk comfortably hand in hand or side by side. They know it’s more important to be with their partner than to see the sights along the way.

4. Make trust and forgiveness your default mode
If and when they have a disagreement or argument, and if they can’t resolve it, happy couples default to trusting and forgiving rather than distrusting and begrudging.

5. Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does wrong
If you look for things your partner does wrong, you can always find something. If you look for what he or she does right, you can always find something, too. It all depends on what you want to look for. Happy couples accentuate the positive.

6. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work
Our skin has a memory of “good touch” (loved), “bad touch” (abused) and “no touch” (neglected). Couples who say hello with a hug keep their skin bathed in the “good touch,” which can inoculate your spirit against anonymity in the world.

7. Say “I love you” and “Have a good day” every morning
This is a great way to buy some patience and tolerance as each partner sets out each day to battle traffic jams, long lines and other annoyances.

8. Say “Good night” every night, regardless of how you feel
This tells your partner that, regardless of how upset you are with him or her, you still want to be in the relationship. It says that what you and your partner have is bigger than any single upsetting incident.

9. Do a “weather” check during the day
Call your partner at home or at work to see how his or her day is going. This is a great way to adjust expectations so that you’re more in sync when you connect after work. For instance, if your partner is having an awful day, it might be unreasonable to expect him or her to be enthusiastic about something good that happened to you.

10. Be proud to be seen with your partner
Happy couples are pleased to be seen together and are often in some kind of affectionate contact — hand on hand or hand on shoulder or knee or back of neck. They are not showing off but rather just saying that they belong with each other.

Extreme Sporting - Urban Climbing & Parkour

The first two videos made my palms and the soles of my feet damp with perspiration...No joke. This is a form of extreme sporting called urban climbing. Try not to pee in your pants.

These Russian youths have one hell of a hobby that could send them right straight to hell. Without harnesses, ropes, parachutes or any form of safety climbing equipment, their adrenalin is all they ride on to perform these breath-taking, heart-stopping, jaw-dropping, eyeball-popping, butterfly-breeding stunts.

Here's a little documentary on them.

They also practice another urban extreme sport called "parkour" or "free running" which is "the sport of moving along a route, typically in a city, trying to get around or through various obstacles inthe quickest and most efficient manner possible, as by jumping, climbing, or running" as defined by dictionary.com

"Parkour" or "free running" basically involves jumping over staircases, ramps, rooftop to rooftop, etc...It's basically overcoming urban obstacles with non-layman gymnastic maneuverability and the out-of-this-world ability to break falls. Here's a lil' video compilation of what it is about.

The last video I watched was this super fun "Human Bungee Slingshot - Human Catapult!" video. This one's more try-able and the people who actually did it did some pretty funny stuffs that will get your tummy exercising.

If possible, I'd like to go there and try that out too! You gotta live while you're young right? #YOLO. Haha.

Yup, I'm no adrenalin junkie, but I am sure one adventurous boy that wants to do some of these before I reach a age where I cannot attempt such feats. Haha.

So, go extreme sporting!! Just kidding. Do the ones that you know you'll have a 90% probability of walking out alive. Haha.

The Reunion Dinner

Just watched this fantastic short film on how this kid celebrated Chinese New Year as a child, to his teenage years and to his parenting years.

Written and directed by Anthony Chen, the same guy who directed the film "Ilo Ilo". He is one heavyweight in the film industry and is the first Singaporean to win the Golden Horse Awards. Yup, do check him out.

Back to this film....

This film captures the lifestyle of a typical Singaporean Chinese family beautifully. The parent-child relationships are also excellently brought out by the hokkien-chinese colloquial chatter.

In short, this film is amazing. Captured in a not too long ago, post-independence Singapore scene, this video will pull the lever of nostalgia in any Singaporean Chinese adult who was born in the 60s.

So, here's the goods...a good 15 minute investment...

The Church's Celebrity Syndrome

Just read this article by Steve Hill: "End the Celebrity Syndrome in the Church" off this webpage - http://www.charismanews.com/opinion/from-the-frontlines/39925-steve-hill-end-the-celebrity-syndrome-in-the-church. Go take a look, it's a good read.

In today's commercialized Christian landscape of mega-churches, suited-up preachers, trendy pastors and multi-million dollar church buildings, it's hard to be celebrity-syndrome-free.

A fine line separates the act of honouring your leaders and exalting and celebrity-fying them. Many mega-churches are treading precariously on this ledge.

This article reminded me powerfully of three things through these Bible verses:

1) ALL promotion / status / fame / positions comes from God.

"...Exaltation comes neither from the east nor from the west nor from the south. But God is the Judge: He puts down one, and exalts another"

Psalm 75:6-7

Where you are right now, in whatever position of leadership and influence, is exactly where God wants you to be. It's not entirely because you worked hard to earn it, but it's because God granted those opportunities to you.

The mouth you were given to talk your way through that interview to land you that job, the mind He gave you to score well in your exams in university to land you a job offer, the opportunity He placed before you when He decided that you be born in a first-world nation and not in a third-world country...

All things come from God. All promotion too. As you grow and are faithful, God will give you the increase.

2) God is in CONTROL.

"...Blessed be the name of God forever and ever, For wisdom and might are His.

And He changes the times and the seasons; He removes kings and raises up kings;

He gives wisdom to the wise; And knowledge to those who have understanding.

He reveals deep and secret things; He knows what is in the darkness,

And light dwells with Him."

Daniel 2:20-22

"He changes the times and the seasons; He removes kings and raises up kings." What else is there for us to say? God is in control of the times and He determines the seasons. He is God, He is in control.

3) We own NOTHING in this life.

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,

And naked shall I return there.

The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away;

Blessed be the name of the Lord.”

Job 1:21

Empty handed we entered this world and empty handed we will be when we return. By empty handed, I am referring to our material possessions.

Once we remember these 3 truths, we will live our lives more humbly, knowing that all we have is all given to us - we don't own it.

We are but stewards - temporarily in possession of someone else's property, tasked to take care of it. The owner will one day return to take all these back from us and we will give an account as to how we've taken care of His property.

These 3 truths will naturally make us immune from the celebrity syndrome because we will know that there is only 1 eternal celebrity - Jesus Christ.

Let me end with this powerful song by The Afters, "This Life". Let the lyrics sink in as we understand that "We can't own it, we just get to hold it for a while - this life"

)

But you didn't - A touching, true, love story

Read this real-life, sentimental love story on 9GAG that nearly squeezed the tears outta my eyes. The main reason why I nearly teared was because I saw how big the husband's love for his wife was.

Every blunder and plain act of stubbornness exhibited by his wife that proved her wrong later on, he didn't use against her. Every opportunity for him to show that he was right and she should submit was left un-seized.

He could have, but he didn't - hence the title of this melancholic yet beautiful love story.

This is the love I wanna emulate. Yet this is the love I am not showing. As I read of how each time he allowed his love for her to overlook and cover for those flaws, my heart took a bullet. How much further can I be from this definition of "love"?

As much as I pride myself in my definitions and exhibitions of love, I've also failed utterly in many aspects...I'm totally unlike this big-hearted husband in this story.

Lastly, you'd never believe where I read this off...I read this touching love story of 9GAG. Yes 9GAG. LOL!

Yup, do read and enjoy this lil' love story and I hope it'll remind you to let go of the little things in your relationships and let love cover that multitude of sins :)