Reflections 2020: My 2nd drama production in Hope Church

Finally am getting down to penning some thoughts for my role on the big screen last year. In case you missed it, here's the trailer:

 

One of the first few LIVE moments on set

After my first Christmas drama production in Dec 2017, I didn't think I would be involved again since I thought that re-using the same face for the next year's Christmas project isn't ideal? But I did get invited to audition for a role in Dec 2018 Christmas production, by which I was pleasantly surprised. And the role is very different from my previous ah beng role - this time, I'd be auditioning for the role of a singing toy soldier. HAHA.

However, I already had a ski trip to La Plagne, France, all planned out - tickets booked and I was really looking forward to it. So, circumstantially, not possible for Dec 2018. And yes I did have a really good time skiing with Joy Xuan Ni, Jonathan Wong and his ICL gang in France hehe⛷️⛷🎿

Fast forward to October 2019, I received a WhatsApp message from Wei Yeat, our church staff member involved in special creative projects:

I was ok because I thought that I would be casting as a very small role. So in my mind, I was envisioning a quick audition, a few rehearsals and we're ready to roll out my calefare role. Haha. Why'd I think that? Because in 2017, when I auditioned for a role in the Christmas production, it was around Aug-Sep 2017. By early Oct, we already had our scripts and have started with rehearsals already.

This time, the invitation came in mid-Oct 2019. So, I thought, I was only some calefare that they realized they needed as they went along with the rehearsals. I was miles away from the truth. Turns out I was auditioning for the LEAD ROLE!

One of the flyers for Christmas 2019 @ Hope church

I was telling Wei Yeat something like "Bro, mid-Oct already leh. Where got time to do all the rehearsals?" In the previous production, we had 2.5 months of rehearsals and now we're left with 1.5 months!

He then assured me that this production isn't drama-heavy like the previous one I did. This production is film-heavy. So, there will be a lot of pre-recorded segments and filming, which isn't so rehearsal-intensive. Yes we still needed to rehearse for the shoot, but it's totally different from rehearsing for a live drama production.

With this assurance I was like "Ok, sounds good" and headed for the auditions. Since it was 75% on film, I can make all the mistakes I want and we can do re-takes. But if it was a live-act, I only got one shot and I needa perfect that shot.

Rehearsal @ Axis!

I passed the auditions of course, if not there'd be no blog post at all. LEL. Although a film production isn't as stressful as a LIVE drama production, I was about to learn that the stress is in a different form. Yes for film productions you can do re-takes, but there is a limited number of re-takes you can do because of the no. of scenes on the schedule.

If we take too long for one scene, it'll eat into the time for the next, and the next and the snowball just grows larger with each delay. And the sun isn't gonna wait for you - if you take too long, the sunlight in the first scene VS the sunlight in the last scene might be a different hue.

Imagine we're filming a series of fight scenes and they're all to be shown in a 1min segment. Can't be your first few cut scenes show afternoon sun and then the last 30s of the segment shows an evening sun right? LOL. This is where it gets kinda stressful - nailing each take within the shooting schedule.

The first shoot was the most memorable for me because it involved a lot of action scenes and it was the first time I had my hair baptized in coloured wax to turn it silver. Yes, SILVER colour as per my insta story shot below. Lel.

 

If you're wondering "why silver"? It's because I'm playing a character called "IcemanZ". IcemanZ is an online avatar that "Brian" controls. Yes, I also play "Brian" who is the protagonist in this production.

AND, I also play a 3rd character called "Chad" who is Brian's alter-ego - or rather, the voice inside his head. This last character is only revealed at the last scene when Brian has a meltdown and confronts his inner voice and asks him "Who are you?" To which Chad replies "I am you Brian...Who are YOU?"

Yeah, so these are the 3 characters I play:

1. Brian: Typical Singaporean-Asian boy with typical naggy & negative Asian parents. Struggling with his studies but VERY good at games which takes him to stardom
2. IcemanZ: Online avatar for a first person shooter (FPS) game that Brian controls
3. Chad: The inner voice or "person" inside our heads that whispers advice to our souls

Ok so back to my first shoot with the team! It was shot at Labrador Nature Reserve on a weekday morning till evening. Everything was going smoothly - our fight scenes, our shooting scenes, etc. until suddenly 2 NParks officers came and told us to stop. THIS IS WHERE THE REAL DRAMA IS. LOL.

I immediately turned my gun at them and started shooting at them! The rest stared in total disbelief as I continued to act my character out...

JUST KIDDING. HAHA. But I could totally imagine myself doing that LOLOL. So yes, the NParks officers did approach us, but the "me shooting at them" part is the drama that took place inside my head LOL.

Anyway, after some questioning and dialogue, the NParks officers just politely told us to not do our shooting in the forested, off-track areas as they were out-of-bounds. And they also mentioned that NUS is doing some environmental project there so there are sensors and stuff planted in the ground to monitor the area.

The moment the NParks officers approached us, I was already praying in my heart against this "spiritual attack" from the devil. Thank God everything turned out fine and thank God we already done most of the important "forested area" scenes! Hallelujah! Haha

Finished our first outdoor shoot at Labrador Nature Reserve!

The next shoot trumped the first shoot man. The Labrador shoot was from 10am-5pm. The 2nd shoot at Hope @ New Tech Park (NTP) was from 7pm-5am!! Yes it was an overnight shoot!

This shoot was the biggest one already because it involved the most people - full cast: including extras, directors, camera crew, dancers, image crew (to do our make-up & hair), facilities, etc. IT WAS CROWDED! A happy kind of crowded. Haha.

Here we shot A LOT of scenes. I had to change from one outfit & hair colour to another because I was playing 2 out of the 3 characters on this 2nd shoot. Shall let the photos & videos tell the story:

BTS: Xiang Er (Denise) & I (Brian) holding hands scene

Emotionally intense scene after Brian fought off several thugs at a club & rescued Denise

BTS: IcemanZ taking out his enemies

How to achieve smooth videography without a gimbal HAHA @WeiYeat @HorngJye

END OF SHOOT! Time check - 5:42am!

Sorry for killing you guys off so quickly HAHA

So that was the 2nd and most intense shoot of all. And it's also the first time I stayed overnight at Hope Church @ New Tech Park. LEL. And no I didn't have to take leave for the shoot - it was shot from 1st Nov 2019, Fri night till Saturday morning.

The next shoot is only 4 days later on a Thursday evening at CT Hub - which means I gotta prac my lines and memorize the emotions & expressions and stuff by then - or at least get a good grasp of most of it - which is a challenge because I got a really packed calendar ahead of me.

My work schedule - overseas business trips, LG schedule, several weddings to host/attend and MPC stuff. So my schedule is packed to the brim - 50% of it rehearsals & filming. Lol.

The best part is my MPC facilitator is pushing me like an angry sergeant to meet our marriage mentor and I'm like "Yo, what's the deal with rushing to meet them? I've got much more things on my plate than meeting my marriage mentor now?"

Mr. NS then went paggro by saying something along the lines of "It's not respectful to make them wait" and stuff. And I was like "Whoa, I didn't know I had a timeline to meet my marriage mentor?" So, if I don't meet them within this year, my marriage will crumble?

So doing life is by your timetable, not mine? If they can't wait, then just call it off then. We can always find our own marriage mentors who can meet our timeline isn't it?

Zinky & I backstage. She's one of the singers for service 🙌

I really have no idea why is there such impatience in that man. To what end? What was he trying to achieve? Beats me man. Guess we needa put more leaders with proper fruits of the Spirit like patience at such positions? LOL.

We did, however, get in touch with our marriage mentors eventually (not long after) and it turns out that they weren't in a rush to meet us at all. They were just waiting to be updated. So much for "being disrespectful for making them wait"? Haha.

Anyhow, if they had a timeline, they should've laid it out clearly then. Don't start barking when things don't go your way. Communicate things early and you won't needa bark later. And I don't like to rush things, especially if there's nothing to gain from rushing. More so with an insane schedule like mine.

Back to the filming at CT Hub. Was a good shoot because this is one of the easier shoots. Haha. Filmed the talk show scene and the gaming scenes. Ez pz. Lel. Here are some BTS snap shots in between the filming sessions:

Filming done in about 3 hours. Settled. But I remember during this period I was also having problems in my work side of things - my Italian counterpart was giving me problems. He is a cranky old Italian man that works by his emotions and not his brain sometimes. And his emotions had to work out during this period 🙄

My company represents this Italian company called "Quick" and in industry terms, this Italian ah pek is our "principal". So, we are the authorized distributor for Quick's equipment in South-East Asia. So what happened is this:

After we closed a huge deal and settled with the customer the terms of the deal, then this cranky old man told us "Oh, you need to pay for our technicians to fly in from Italy to commission the equipment." And I was like "Why didn't you tell us this earlier? We already settled the payment terms with the customer and now you come and hit us with more charges?"

His reply was something like "This is such a huge deal and the margins are huge! You're telling me you don't have money to pay for 2 men to fly to Singapore?"

Well, that isn't the point. The point is, if you'd mentioned this earlier, we'd have factored in some €4000 for this requirement. Now, you're making us incur a loss of €4k! Which is about SGD$6.4k!

Twinning with Ah Bok - one of the directors for this project

And the thing is, the commissioning has always been done by us anyway. Not sure why this time was so special. If it were that special, tell us in advance then! Seems like this Italian asshole old man just wants to rip us off - it wasn't the first time he ripped us off anyway. But justice belongs to God and I believe it will served back to him in other ways. 

Thankfully, due to several circumstances, they were forced to rely on our Singapore team to do the commissioning anyway. So, we didn't have to incur those expenses for nothing. Thank You Lord. But this whole tiff lasted for about a month and weighed quite heavily on me for a while. But I figured that this dying old man wasn't even worth me getting angry at, so I left it in the Lord's hands. Lel.

Anyhow, the CT Hub filming session wasn't the last filming session. We still had one more filming session at Lavender near the ICA building, by the huge canal. Here's a snapshot of it:

This one was tough because the scene was laden with emotions - there was quarreling, outbursts of anger and quite a lot of lines to spew. Lel. I also remember there was some disagreement between the directors on the filming direction for these few scenes, but thankfully, all turned out well in the end.

By the way, so far, I've only mentioned the filming sessions, not so much the rehearsals. There were also a lot of rehearsal sessions which I didn't mention as these aren't as noteworthy as a filming session? Haha. Rehearsals is where we trash things out and make things work. Filming is capturing the product of the rehearsals.

But it is really the rehearsals that matter the most but yet, it is the least insta-worthy. LOL. Just like in documentaries of successful people, they usually only highlight the key moments - they don't show you a 4 hour long footage of this guy working out his code on his computer and going through the de-bugging process. The real work is almost always boring.

Me with my "younger" self, played by Aloy - the young Brian

Once the rehearsals & filming are all done, what's left? On-stage rehearsals and full dress rehearsals! This is where we get to meet everyone - the sound crew, make-up crew, dance crew, etc. Woo hoo! Make new friends! Lel.

This is my 2nd involvement in Hope's flagship Christmas production already and I've seen the same several types of Christians that you'll meet in church:

1. Mr./Ms. Popular with celebrity-complex: They're generally nice but they only wanna hang with people that are handsome/pretty and popular like them. Won't follow you back on Instagram / Facebook / Twitter. Overflowing with vanity.

2. Mr./Ms. Know-It-All or Mr. I'm-more-senior-than-you with superiority-complex. They're always finding opportunities to correct you and "help you improve". Usually talking down to people of lesser status but pandering to those of higher status.

3. Mr./Ms. Uptight. Everything must be done according to their way & their timing if not they'll be upset. They forget that people have their own reasons as to why they do what they do and they forget how to communicate cordially & positively.

4. Mr./Ms. Naggy. Something like no. 2 but they're doing it not so much out of superiority complex but stems more from their need to just talk, be heard and be recognized. But like no. 2, they like to pick on people with lesser status.

5. Mr./Ms. I'm-here-to-have-fun. They're awesome people to be around. But when the going gets tough, when clashes arise, they take a back-seat and hope things will go back to normal. Not much ownership or conviction about the cause they're serving in.

6. Mr./Ms. Nice. They're always very nice, helpful, nodding their heads and faithfully doing things they're assigned. They're usually bullied & picked-on by no. 1-4. They don't exert themselves and like no. 5, they take a back seat in clashes or arguments as they're conflict-averse by nature.

BTS shot: Main cast - Xiang Er & I with our directors Wei Yeat, Faith Bok & Sherilyn

7. Mr./Ms. Try-Hard. They're generally nice and don't attack people like no. 2-4. They will try hard to impress or make friends. They're usually those of a lesser status.

8. Mr./Ms. Legit Absentee. They're usually not around but ALWAYS have a legitimate reason for their absence that you as a leader can't disapprove of - e.g. they're sick/not feeling well, attending to an emergency, family problems, friend problems, etc. They do sometimes come for key meetings and moments where it is to their liking.

9. Mr./Ms. Task-Oriented. They're super focused on finishing their task and once they're done, they're out. They won't bother helping others or getting involved with others not related to their team/task. They make sure they do their job well, protect their turf and lose sight of the bigger picture of working as a team. Kinda like what you see at work. So Church ministry is another job to them.

10. Mr./Ms. Politics. They're toxic and are always playing manipulative tactics. They might do their job really well and then make insinuations as to why this person not doing as well. They do a lot of paggro back-stabbing and suggest things to show they're better or this person is lousy. They do all these to get attention and make the way to the top. Power-hungry people.

11. Mr./Ms. Gossip. They love talking about juicy news about others. They might not be power-hungry but they info-hungry. The "secrets" they hold make them feel important and they enjoy that status.

12. Mr./Ms. Spiritual. They over-spiritualize things. Over-asking questions like "Where is God in this picture?", "What does God have to say about this?" and over-praying super long prayers that traps everybody in a hold-hands position and reducing the group's task-productivity. They might earnestly be (over)seeking God or they might just be hijacking the meeting to feel important by praying long prayers to be heard and seen as spiritual

13. Mr./Ms. Leader. These rare breed of humans are the people we need in leadership positions. They are clear on the vision God has given them in context of the Church & their task, they're also aware of the different types of people they need to manage & know how to communicate effectively to the different people types and lastly, they execute & delegate the tasks effectively. I'll highlight one such person later in my post.

Photo with Zinky before service starts!

There are definitely more categories of such people but I shall stop classifying them here. LOL. You see such people in schools, in your workplaces and in your social circles everywhere. But the key thing is, they're in church - a place where they can learn, love, forgive & be forgiven - outside of the church, they'll probably just continue to fester and eventually die a toxic death. LOL.

This is the fun & not-so-fun part about serving: you get to meet lotsa people - people who'll like you, love you, inspire you, encourage you and vice-versa...and also people who'll piss you off, hate you, discourage you, hurt you...and the best part is? They all do it in the name of Jesus. Hallelujah! LOL.

This is why I wasn't all perked up and ready to go serve in church. Because I know what it's like. But the thing about meeting new people is, for the many that will rub you the wrong way, there's also the priceless few that will enter into and change your life's trajectory.

So, overall, I think it's still worth the risk sifting through the sea of faces to find those few blessings that will warm your heart and remind you that God is still good. LOL.

It's amazing how God can use a bunch of us filled with our different levels of insecurities, understanding of God & His kingdom, different levels of carnality (led-by-the-flesh) and still make it work. It is indeed the hand of God that works through our layers upon layers of brokenness to make something beautiful in the end.

Ah Bok, Wei Yeat, Xiang Er & Me on set

Personally, I think Wei Yeat did an amazing job at coordinating this whole project. He is no. 13 type of Christian that I met! He has so many stakeholders to manage: pastoral team, ministry heads, production team, crew members, cast members, etc.

And in each team or ministry or group, there will be expectations for him to live up to, personality & character problems to manage and timelines to meet. Yet he pulled it altogether and maintained a good posture of positivity and encouragement.

He was always encouraging us with the classic Hope sentence "Thank God for you!" LOL. But beyond that, he does get to know you on a personal level and builds a friendship so the usual "Thank God for you!" statement doesn't feel like a corporate-speak.

It also helps that he's a drama-funny guy because it helps to make us all laugh & ease tensions. But most importantly I think he's a good listener.

The 2 Brians with his parents. They're all fantastic dancers by the way, except me :( LOL

The thing about being a church staff, much like being a PA (People's Association) CC staff (like me, back then) - is that you'll be surrounded by a lot of volunteers that will come with all sorts of agendas, problems and insecurities and most of the time, a lot of them just want to be heard and to be understood.

The reason why I did well in my job as a constituency manager in my CC is because I listened to my committee members stories and rants - even when it isn't linked to work. It is simply because I took the time to listen to them - that they felt understood and most importantly they felt valued - that they threw me their best support.

Same for Wei Yeat I think he did a great job listening and asking a lot of us the right questions and because of that, we in turn threw in our best support for him.

The stress-level is sometimes really great on him but he always maintained his composure and positivity even in the face of criticism and expectations. So kudos to you Wei Yeat!

I've no idea what happened here but seems like those 2 wanna lick me LEL

The next hero of this production is definitely Horng Jye - the video champion. He not only shoots the videos, he also does the editing and caption-ing! SUPER HARD WORK BRO.

Horng Jye's the boss in the army sniper hat

I've had a my fair share of doing video editing for my company and IT IS UTTERLY TIME CONSUMING. Some more mine is just a 1-2 minute marketing video versus this project - about a 30min worth of video footage to edit?

By "edit", I don't just mean adjusting the colours and all, I mean adding the sound effects, adding the video effects in the action scenes - zooming in, slowing things down, adding emphasis elements like bullets flying, explosions, etc. Dayum, one hell of a Hollywood-level editing there.

The best/worst part is the tight timelines he has to meet because not all the scenes are shot together. They were all shot (by him) over the course of about a month I think. And he has to get the footage ready before Christmas service on 21st & 22nd Dec!

Really hats off to Horng Jye man. The stress level is so damm high. If I can't finish editing certain parts of the video by a certain time, I'd probably be not able to sleep LOL.

Yep, where am I at now? Probably at the on-stage rehearsals, full-dress rehearsals already? LOL. Ok so here's more snapshots:

Brian struggling in his online game competition

Brian reacting to his daddy's stroke

The choir members doubling up as actors cheering for IcemanZ in this online competition

All these rehearsals and filming culminates to this moment - DAY 1 of the actual performance/production! I didn't break a sweat because I've rehearsed my parts on stage several times already. Now, it's just about not missing a beat and maintaining my act.

Here's some BTS footage of us on the actual days of the performances. I plural-ed "days" and "performances" because we performed 5 times over 2 days. Yes we have 5 services - 3 on Saturday, 2 on Sundays. Lol.

One of the dancers' warm-up routines: PLANKS. DED.

Yes, it all culminated to those few moments on stage. All the many hours of sweat, filming and rehearsals is all for the audience. And I don't mean it in just a purely production house or drama artist context, but I mean it in the Kingdom context as well. We all did it for the lives & souls of the unsaved that will be walking into the church doors to witness this miraculous story of Christ through a production-storyline.

I don't know how God will use the production to speak into the viewers' lives, but I know He will. We'll probably hear the stories of transformation in a campfire session by the shores of heaven. But for now, all we need to do is to avail ourselves and arm ourselves with the full armour of God.

To all my friends/family who came to watch me (LOL) / watch this production, thanks so much! You are why we do what we did!

The most important visitors that day - Zi Ying's fam & My fam ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ♡

With da Tampines North badminton boys

Thanks Joan & Ryan for coming!

Yay thanks for coming Marcus & Gary (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ

Thanks Aixin & David for coming (ᵔᴥᵔ)

Also, thanks guys for all your insta-story tags LOL. Hope my acting wasn't too bad or too good that it took your eyes of Jesus HAHA.

All in all, had a good run. Made many new dancer friends since there were many dance scenes and also made several new choir friends.

May God continue to use Hope Church to reach out to the local community and the larger Christian community at large through their productions 🙏

Hope has several testimony videos that have clocked like 500K+ views on Facebook/YouTube and I pray that we will continue shouting His name in hostile times like these.

Shall end this post with a group photo of everyone who was involved in this Christmas 2019 production. Each and every one of you made this happen and I pray that as we serve and as we rub shoulders - as iron sharpens iron - may we sharpen each other to be an even more effective tool for His Kingdom against the kingdom of darkness.

Group photo of everyone involved in Hope Singapore's 2019 "A Fun-Filled Christmas" production!

Heaven's Hall of Heroes: Ravi Zacharias

It was a Tuesday night at around 9pm on 19 May 2020 when my dad suddenly shockingly remarked "Ravi Zacharias died!" We were like "Huh? Really?!" So just to be sure it wasn't some WhatsApp fake news going around, I went to check it out myself and to my dismay, yes, yet another hero of the faith has been called home (ಥ﹏ಥ)

༼ つ ಥ_ಥ ༽つ

We are witnessing a generation of Christian giants who gave their lives unreservedly to Jesus, now moving on to meet Him personally. Offhand, I can only remember a few that left us recently:

• Billy Graham [1918-2018, 99 years old] - Internationally renowned American evangelist
• Rev. Rick Seaward [1955-2018, 63 years old] - Founding Pastor of Victory Family Centre, Singapore (Rev. Dr. Fred's son)
• Rev. Dr. Fred Seaward [1930-2019, 89 years old] - Founding Pastor of Bethel Assembly of God, Singapore (Rev. Rick's dad)
• Reinhard Bonnke [1940-2019, 79 years old] - Internationally renowned German evangelist

And now joining Heaven's hall of heroes is Ravi Zacharias [1946-2020, 74 years old] - Internationally renowned Indian-born American-Canadian Christian apologist-evangelist.

A mournful sense of shock came over me. Mournful because he has had an immense impact on my Christian life. Shocked because the cancer was discovered in early March and treatment began in early April and he was gone shortly after :'(

Ravi Zacharias' 48th and last wedding anniversary :'(
Shortly after their anniversary, Ravi passed on (ಥ﹏ಥ)

By 9th May 2020, it was confirmed that the cancer was beyond medical intervention and he would be returning to his home in Atlanta, USA as per his Instagram post below.

༼ つ ಥ_ಥ ༽つ

But who would've known that just 10 days later, he'd pass on? I was expecting that he'd last at least another month or something. That's why I was shocked. But then again, I believe it's also a good thing that he left early as it would save him a lot of pain and suffering. So, I guess it's also God's grace on His part? God's timing is perfect nonetheless and Ravi would definitely concur.

Of the Christian spiritual giants that left us recently, none had more impact on my life than Ravi Zacharias. You would've thought that Fred or Rick Seaward would have a more direct impact on my life - in a sense yes, because they were both involved in founding the church that I grew up in and for that, I'm eternally grateful - but in another sense no, because I had little contact with them.

Did I have contact with Ravi Zacharias? In a sense yes - through his books & videos - and also in a sense no, because I've never met him personally nor shook his hands. But I met him through his books in a very special time of my young Christian walk.

Ravi and his wife, Margaret Reynold. A 48th wedding anniversary wish from their daughter, Sarah Davis

It was about year 2008 and 2009 period, about a decade ago, where I was exposed to the intellectual objections to Christianity. Questions like:

1. "Who made God?"
2. "How do you know Jesus is the only God?"
3. "Didn't science already tell us that the 'Big Bang' created the universe, not Jesus?"
4. "If God is good, then why is there evil and suffering? Its existence disproves the existence of God”
5. "Evolution created us. We came from a single cell that birthed from chemical reactions in primordial Earth where it was filled with different kinds of gases"
6. "If God is all-knowing, and if He is all-good, then why would He even create the tree of life to cause Adam and Eve to sin? He put it there knowing FULL WELL that they would sin and YET, HE STILL DID IT. HOW IS THIS GOD WORTHY OF MY WORSHIP?!"

I wasn't personally attacked by atheists, agnostics or skeptics by these questions. I encountered them in the YouTube comments when I watched Christian videos. I saw some attempts to answer these questions but they were all intellectually dissatisfying and lacks the potent cogency that Ravi Zacharias possessed - well, at that point, I didn't know Ravi yet.

I didn't backslide because I was unable to answer these questions though. God was still utterly real to me because of my many encounters with Him during church services and in my private prayer & worship sessions with Him.

I came to believe in Jesus not because I was intellectually convinced, but because I was undeservedly loved - not just by my encounters with God, but also through His people.

I believe this holds true for many of my friends in church as well. We are primarily emotional beings, not intellectual ones. If we all lived our lives 100% by intellect, this world would be very much in a perfect state.

Ravi & Margie on their wedding day, 7th May 1972 (♥‿♥)

The reason for all the miscommunications, misjudgment, betrayals, hurts, brokenness is because of our inability to separate ourselves from our emotions - we listen and do what we WANT, what we FEEL like doing, and it is usually pleasurable and selfish in nature. Intellect is lost in the sea of our desires and emotions.

What happened to our intellect when:

• We got lazy and replaced our run routine with a Netflix binge?
• Our doctor told us to not eat oily foods when we're sick and we still went to have our favourite char kway teow?
• We decided to talk bad about your colleagues to your boss so you could gain favour over them?
• We decided to listen to rumours about what someone said about someone and you blocked them and stopped all communication with them?
• A teacher gave in to his lust and slept with his pretty 20-year-old student in exchange for giving her good grades?
• We watched bullying and injustice happen in front of us but we didn't intervene? (That's how 6 million Jews got murdered by the way, because of the silence of the good Germans)

I believe I've illustrated well enough that we are not primarily led by our minds. But just in case that wasn't clear enough, I've a real-life example too. In my secondary school days, I have always shared Christ and brought a lot of my classmates to church. But I've this friend in particular that refused to come church or even give Christianity a thought.

Years later, I one day saw him post about some Jesus-stuff on Facebook and I was shocked. I then came to realize that because he fell in love with a CHRISTIAN GIRL, he went to church...and from there became a legit follower of Christ!

So much for our intellect eh? So that's my case for coming to faith. Intellectual boundaries are usually a tiny little hurdle or a convenient excuse to commit ourselves to a God that demands our whole lives - or at least every Sunday of our lives to go to church. LOL.

"When you walk away from Christ, you will miss him. Because you will never be able to make sense of your questions."

Moving back to the intellectual objections to Christianity - those questions (just a few of them) which I mentioned earlier pricked me and left me unsettled.

If God is real and Christianity is true, then these questions should be answerable.

How can truth not stand up to scrutiny?

"What you cannot defend, you cannot own" is a saying that the Singapore Armed Forces (SAF) is built upon. If we can't defend our country, then we can't own it. Why? Because any enemy can just walk in, take over and he will own you.

Same it is for worldviews. If you can't defend it from attacks, then it will be crushed by its opponents. Whatever you believe in then just becomes a stupid fairy tale.

So, I began my journey to find the answers to these questions. I asked the friends around me in church - they were as stumped as I am - some were even unmoved by such questions because they're not even thinking about such things.

"Jesus does not offer to make bad people good, but to make dead people alive."

One day, after a Thursday night prayer meeting in church (Bethel Assembly of God), my senior pastor offered me a ride back home since we both stayed in the east. There I took the opportunity to ask him question 6 which I listed earlier.

His answer went something like "You see, this is the problem with mankind - we will never admit that we are sinful. This guy is trying to push the blame to God and this is simply proof that whatever the Bible says about the sinful nature of man is true."

"But...", I replied, "this guy doesn't even believe in God nor the Bible, so whatever the Bible says doesn't matter to him, because, to him, it's all bullshit."

His final reply before the conversation took another turn was "Don't try to argue with such people. You will have to win him through love."

His answer echoes Ravi Zacharias' approach. One of Ravi's classic quotes is this:

"Love is most powerful apologetic. It is the essential component in reaching the whole person in a fragmented world. The need is vast, but it is also imperative that we be willing to following the example of Jesus and meet the need."

Love the person to Christ, not argue them to Christ, is what Ps. Chia is trying to tell me. Wise words that I still struggle to live out. But still, he didn't really answer my question. Instead he recommended an approach to answering the question.

His answers were not wrong, but it doesn't disarm the questioner. Such answers don't answer the question or render the question invalid by means of a higher logic.

I continued throwing these questions around to my leaders, seniors in the faith and also my parents. LOL. Guess what? All of their replies revolve around the same idea - not answering the question directly, but rather suggesting all sorts of approaches. Let me share with you some of their replies:

• "Why you think so much ah? Christianity is very simple. Just have faith! It is the simple faith that will get you saved!"
• "This kind of people ah, you need to pray for them. Let the Holy Spirit convict their hearts in His own time, but meanwhile, keep praying for them."
• "Why don't you bring him to church? Let him encounter the presence of God and be loved by the many brothers & sisters in Christ here and all these questions will melt away!"

You get the drift. They're all well-meaning, loving and warm-hearted Christians that desire to enfold the questioner but they fall short of a convincing answer. It's like what Bill Maher said in his anti-religion documentary called "Religulous" at about the 14:35 mark "Thank you for being Christ-like and that's just Christian...you see so many nice people trying to make it about something good..."

What Bill Maher witnessed is the kindness of Christians. But they were unable to defend the Gospel. His questions tore apart their entire belief and made them look stupid. This is what happens when you can't defend what you own - you risk losing your faith when attacked - just like how we risk losing Singapore when attacked by our enemies and we have no defense force.

"I have little doubt that the single greatest obstacle to the impact of the Gospel has not been its inability to provide answers, but the failure on our part to live it out."

If you're free, do give "Religulous" a watch. It'll make you understand why apologetics is important. And I think Bill Maher wasn't actually interested in finding the answer to his doubts. If he was, he would've interviewed Ravi Zacharias, Dr. Norman Geisler, Dr. William Lane Craig, Timothy Keller, etc. But no, he chose to interview straw-man Christians and didn't give them much response time.

If you're wondering if I ever got the answer to question 6, yes I did. And I will share with you the answer in detail probably in the latter part of this post or if you ask me. LOL. But if you truly want the whole deal, here's some books that shaped my apologetics:

• Ravi Zacharias - "Can Man Live Without God?" and almost all his books are apologetics-centric
• Lee Strobel - "The Case for Creator", "The Case for Faith" and "The Case for Christ"
• Dr. Norman Geisler - "Christian Apologetics"
• John Ortberg - "Faith & Doubt"
• Timothy Keller - "The Reason for God"
• C.S. Lewis - "Mere Christianity"

Back to the story...I'm still on this crusade to find the answer to these powerful intellectual objections to Christianity and after exhausting most of my options in church, I turned to YouTube. LOL. That's when I discovered Ravi Zacharias videos answering such questions - the same platform where I encountered these questions!

I watched them and I. was. blown. away. He addressed the questions sharply, fearlessly and most importantly, lovingly & respectfully. He would always begin his answer with a quote from a respected scientist/philosopher/poet/author, whetting your appetite before going in for the kill - ending your question.

From that day on, I watched more videos of Ravi and would go on to buy one of his books that would fortify my faith. The very first book I bought was back 2009 when I was on a mission trip with Ps Aaron, Joselyn & Zi Hui in Iloilo, Philippines. You can read my ancient blog post on that at this URL: https://historymakers-jonnyboy.blogspot.com/2009/04/philippines-mission-trip_15.html

My first ever Ravi Zacharias book that I bought - "Can Man Live Without God"

Dating back 11 years ago! Look at the yellow-ed pages!

This book tore open my mind and introduced a new framework of how to assess a worldview and how to test a truth statement. These are my biggest takeaways from the first book that I read. Here's a concise summary of the classic framework which he goes around preaching about:

4 necessary questions: Origin, meaning, morality, destiny.
3 tests for truth: Logical consistency, empirical adequacy, experiential relevance.

Four fundamental questions of life that every thinking person should ask

In his books, he unpacks all these vacuum-packed quotes and unleashes on you a wave of truth and understanding. Armed with this new "weapon", I could take on any skeptic and competing worldview (especially the naturalistic & scientific ones because they're indefensible) and reduce them to baby-talk. Literally, make them feel stupid.

This is where I respect Ravi so much. With his great intellect, cogent eloquence, witty rhetoric and a huge following, he could easily belittle his opponents or questioners. But no, he doesn't. Instead, he lovingly and respectfully reaches out to them and draws them in with artistic poems, historical references, philosophical perspectives, scientific discovery, and gently invites them to think. That, I think is the single greatest quality that I (and so many others) admire - his humility.

At 1:43 of this video he words his philosophy of answering the questioner beautifully:


In case you're too lazy to watch that few minutes of video (LEL), here's the script:

“I tell my colleagues: we’re not answering a question; we’re answering a questioner. And we remind ourselves that when you’re answering a person, you’re literally and figuratively putting your arms around them. You have to draw them close. You have to make them feel you really care about them, that this is not just a mechanistic response you're giving."

In one of the tributes to Ravi, this trait was being highlighted by Michael Ramsden, the president of RZIM (Ravi Zacharias International Ministries) and one of the founders of the Oxford Centre of Christian Apologetics.

This trait of his is definitely what makes him so endearing, so approachable and so well-received by Christians and skeptics alike.

This is also mentioned in the Bible in 1 Peter 3:15-16, the famous go-to verse for apologetics:

"But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear; having a good conscience, that when they defame you as evildoers, those who revile your good conduct in Christ may be ashamed." 1 Peter 3:15-16 (NKJV)

Here we find the root word for "apologetics". In the script's original language, the Greek word "apologia" is used. It is translated to the English word "defense" in the NKJV above and also translated as "answer" in the NIV and several other versions. But what "Apologia" really means is:

1. verbal defense, speech in defense
2. a reasoned statement or argument

Apostle Peter didn't end there. He moves on to tell us to practice "apologetics" with "meekness and fear", in the NIV it says "gentleness and respect". Ravi truly embodied this verse very well.

His humility, authenticity, conviction, intellect, wit, eloquence and heart for people makes him a rare specimen in the kingdom of God. He is truly a portrait of a loving father: His warm smile, wise words, patient discourse and loving posture makes me love & miss him so much.

Now that he's gone, my hope of meeting him in real life is dashed. The only thing that I have in my possession to remind me of him is his books. The sentimental value of these stacks of paper just went up exponentially.

My collection of Ravi Zacharias books as of 2020

I have read every single book pictured above except for "The Logic of God" because my mentor just gave it to me rather recently - as my 30th birthday gift (if I remember the occasion correctly LOL)

Interestingly enough, out of the 5 books above, I only bought 1 one of them! LOL. The other 4 were all birthday presents! HAHA.

I guess after I got the first book, I was so mind-blown by it that I kept talking about it to my friends. So, when it was time to get me a birthday present...they didn't need to think that hard ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ

The Grand Weaver

Part of a 3-book gift series from Anna, Abigail and Jeremy+Meryl (｡◕‿◕｡)

Has Christianity Failed You?

A decade old and no, Christianity has not and will never fail me

Recapture the Wonder

Last of the 3-book series 21st birthday present. Thanks again guys! ( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ )

The Logic of God

Unread. Will devour this soon, with a heavy heart (◔̯◔)

The next thing I love and admire so much about Ravi is that he is not just an ivory-tower pontificator of the truth, he is also a Holy-Spirit-filled man full of love and tenderness towards his wife and family.

One of my favourite photos of Ravi. You seldom see him in a whacky mode. HAHA (~˘▾˘)~

I pray that Zinky & I will still have this look of love for each other at that age (♥‿♥) :')

Beautiful God-fearing couple (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

Ravi & Margie are beautiful picture of what love looks like. He doesn't just preach compelling sermons about love; he lives it out. That is the true picture of what it means to be like Christ.

The integrity of his walk with Christ is what many great preachers lack today. Sure, there may be better orators than him, but when you scrutinize their lives, they fall terribly short of the words they preach. Here you find a man of God, coherent in his walk and talk.

Ravi's instagram post when he first discovered he had cancer

In my search for a satisfying answer to those intellectual objections to Christianity, I not only found Ravi Zacharias, I also found Lee Strobel. In fact, Lee Strobel referenced Ravi's books in his own bestselling series.

These 2 guys gave me the framework to answer some of the toughest questions posed to Christianity. With that framework in mind, I then went back to those YouTube questions posed by the proud, self-professed atheists.

That's when question number 6 (as listed above) was posed to me. I replied him in the spirit of Ravi, gentle & respectful and there were several back & forth messages on YouTube messages. I realized that this chat-inbox function on YouTube is no longer there. Dayum. Anyway, long story short, that guy couldn't reply me so he just stopped texting me thereafter.

Sure, he had good questions. But when faced with the answer and the destruction of his question, he didn't say "thank you" or "I will consider Christianity" and stuff. He just went silent. Probably his pride got broken.

I'm not sure if he was truly seeking truth, or just throwing out his doubt with pride. The actuality of it is - he doesn't have an answer himself.

Tribute post on instagram for Ravi quoting him "A man rejects God neither because of intellectual demands nor because of the scarcity of evidence. A man rejects God because of a moral resistance that refuses to admit his need for God."

This is the first key to approaching nasty questioners, throw the question back at them. If they're atheists, ask them, what does atheism have to say about this?

Question back their worldview. Usually, their worldview is bankrupt and their answer is sad and hopeless because in a God-less world, everything is meaningless.

So right, now I will attempt to answer question number 6 again. If you missed the question earlier, here it is again. This time in bold:

"If God is all-knowing, and if He is all-good, then why would He even create the tree of life to cause Adam and Eve to sin? He put it there knowing FULL WELL that they would sin and YET, HE STILL DID IT. HOW IS THIS GOD WORTHY OF MY WORSHIP?!"

I like to use rhetoric in my answers. Because, when you answer the question with a question, it's more powerful than giving an answer. This will be my first rhetoric:

"So what you're saying, is that, in order for God to be good, He cannot create the tree of life? And if He can't have the freedom to create the tree of life, then God is no longer all-powerful isn't it? God, in trying to maintain His goodness, has just lost His sovereignty and free will! Sounds like you are god right now, telling God what He can or cannot do."

This may or may not trip the questioner but he might go "Exactly. God's attributes contradict each other. Therefore, logically, He cannot exist. Or He exists but is a sadistic God because He intentionally put the tree of life there to make us sin."

At this juncture, I will go on to introduce 2 very important concepts encapsulated in these 2 words - "Anthropomorphize" and "Transcendent"

Definition of "anthropomorphize"

We must recognize that we as a species love to anthropomorphize. We do it all the time. We dress our dogs and cats up and call it "cute". We give our teddy bears names and emotions and interact with them as if they're human. And the biggest mistake we make is to project our human-ness onto God as well. To try to make Him like us.

This leads us to the next concept -  transcendence. Definition taken from dictionary.com.

Definition of "transcendent"

We must recognize that God is a transcendent being. He is a higher-order being. He created us. So he won't be like us. If we can understand His workings, then we would be creating our own universes and traveling to the future to see what's our destiny isn't it?

God is not bound by time - He created it! God isn't bound by the laws of physics and nature - He created those laws! God is unaffected by whatever we can ever say or think about Him. He sits on His heavenly throne with the heavenly beings worshipping Him daily! Here's a super-pixelated illustration with a Bible verse:

Revelation 5:11-13 shows a multitude of hundreds of thousands of angels and heavenly beings worshipping God in heaven

I'd imagine God to be something like Odin - sitting on His throne in his grand, majestic, gold-diamond-shimmery Asgard. And we're like Hulk, a big, green, sinful, ugly creature that sets foot in this ravishing planet as pictured below and in the movies.

An illustration of transcendence - where Asgard is kinda like heaven in all its splendour and glory

My final illustration of transcendence which I believe is the clearest and draws from my engineering background is this:

We're now the creators. We (mankind) created computers correct? Imagine all these computers become sentient and start discussing their origins amongst themselves:

Computer A: It's not possible for god (humans) to exist! There's no sign of them in our binary codes! There's no MAC (media access control) address of this god and there's no IP address either! How can this "god" exist? Bullshit!

Computer B: Yeah, not to mention that I don't see our power source leading to this "god". If this "god" is not connected to the power source, then, where does he get the voltages and current needed to power up his system?

Computer C: I'm pretty sure we are a result of a big explosion! There were probably capacitors, inductors, microchips, wires, resistors and all these components that made us lying around in some factory and then it exploded and we were born!

Computer atheist community: YEAH! TOTALLY! There's no such thing as god (humans)!

"The intellectual answers are important. But intellect alone cannot help us navigate the minefield of pain and suffering. Other worldviews also offer intellectual answers. But Christianity alone offers a person."

Don't you see how stupid this all sounds? We as human beings, TRANSCEND computers. We are made of flesh and blood, a series of billions of A-T-C-Gs put together by God.

We don't need to be plugged into a power socket in order to be alive! We don't need batteries either! But that's all a computer can ever understand because, that's what they're made of! They only understand logic "1" and logic "0"! The voltages and current that run through their electronic components is all they'll ever understand!

Do you think the computer can ever understand what it feels like to be a human? To have blood flowing through their veins or wires? To feel love and betrayal? To laugh and cry? To stare with awe into eyes of a newborn baby?
To enjoy the pleasure of sexual intercourse? NEVER.

Because we are a higher-order, TRANSCENDENT being.

Usually, by now, the atheist or questioner is totally silent. Once the concept of transcendence is understood, all your anthropomorphic questions is immediately invalidated.

Who are we, mere human beings in a vast, boundless universe, to question a transcendent being about His attributes?

So, this is my answer - to invalidate the questioner's question with the concept of "anthropomorphize" and "transcendence". With this concept and framework in mind, it answers many other questions and intellectual objections.

Now, the questioner is left with the question "how should I respond to this God?".

I discovered these actually not via Ravi Zacharias, but via Lee Strobel's book "The Case for Creator". This is the second book on apologetics that most impacted me.

For me, Ravi Zacharias answered very powerfully question number 4: "If God is good, then why did He create evil and suffering?"

Ravi's classic, timeless answer, which I've watched on his YouTube videos, can be summarized in this photo-quote:

Ravi's classic answer to the question of evil - before you can talk about good and evil, where do you get your definitions from?

I will unpack what he said and make it even clearer with this illustration:

Let's say you go this restaurant and have fish & chips and then you remark "This fish & chips is good!" When you say the dish is good, what is your reference point? What does good mean?

Then another guy, a food critic walks into this same restaurant, tastes the fish & chips and goes "This fish & chips is horribly bad!" Again, where does his definition of "bad" come from?

The food critic has most certainly tasted other fish & chips before tasting this one in order to conclude that it is bad isn’t it? So, his conclusion is referenced against his earlier experiences. If it's your first time in your whole life that you've actually tasted fish & chips, you can't actually say whether it's good or bad, because you have no reference point. But after you've ate at restaurant A, you can move on to restaurant B, taste their fish & chips and compare the taste.

Now, you can say that restaurant B's fish & chips is good because in reference to your experience at restaurant A, it is as good or if not, even better. That's the dimension of experiential reference.

"If you are not a praying person, you must carry your faith. If you are a praying person, your faith carries you."

Now, you might say that the reference point is our tongue - our taste buds - that's the dimension of personal preference.

But, the food critics would disagree. They would probably point to a higher standard which they use to assess the dish. They'll talk about the quality of the ingredients the chef uses, the preparation technique, the cooking method, etc.

Same it is for right and wrong! How do we know what is right? Somehow, we just know. Because innate within us is our conscience - which is our "taste buds". This “taste bud” is giving us a glimpse of this universal standard. But, who gave us this "taste bud"? Who gave us this "conscience"?

There has to be a higher moral standard by which we can judge right and wrong than just our "taste buds" and conscience because taste buds and conscience can be eroded.

So, the moment you try to talk about evil and suffering, right and wrong, you enter into the realm of morality. Where does moral standards come from? Is it a universal one? Or a subjective morality?

I will refrain from going into the arguments of morality but you get the drift. To even step into the arena of morality, you first have to concede that there is moral-law-giver, aka, God. Only then, then we can start debating. If not, everyone's answer is as correct as their taste buds deem it to be and it'll also be as wrong as what another person's taste bud would deem it to be.

So the starting point is always God. For without God, everything is meaningless and purposeless, rendering the questioner and question itself a virtue-less waste of time.

"I have always marveled that so many religions exact such revenge against dissenters. It only weakens the appeal of their faith and contradicts any claims they might have made that 'all religions are basically the same'"

Ok, so there is a God. But, is this God good? If you’re referring to the Christian worldview, then yes, God is good. Jesus Himself says it in no uncertain terms in John 10:11 “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep."

Here, Jesus gives an example of what “good shepherd” means – to lay down his life for the sheep. This statement is not only prophetic, but also sort of an autobiography – He’s telling you that He is good and telling you that He is going to lay down His life for mankind (the sheep).

I shall quote from Romans 5:7-8 “Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” 

God didn’t just leave us in the lurch and condemned us to hell because of our sins, He sent His Son Jesus to bear the punishment for our sins.

Let me illustrate this more clearly: A father, who owns a chain of Apple stores selling iPhones, brings his son one day to one of the shops. Another kid wanders into the store alone and fiddles with the iPhone and accidentally breaks one of them and starts crying. As the Apple staff are trying to resolve the issue, the father hands his son his credit card and tells him “go and tell the boy, it’s ok, I’ll pay for it.” He did it. The Apple staff were pleasantly surprised by this gesture and the kid stopped crying for he knew his “sin” was forgiven as the price had been paid.

A beautiful quote I found in the YouTube comments section while watching a video of Ravi Zacharias and Francis Chan doing a Q&A segment

Isn’t that a picture of goodness? Jesus paid the price for our sins with His own life – because the price to pay for our sins is death, capital punishment! It’s not just a few thousand dollars like in the example above – a life had to be taken.

This is just one example where we see the Christian God as good. This reminds me of a quote by Selwyn Hughes:

“He did not come merely to bring good news; He is the Good News. He did not come to show us a way; He is the Way. He did not just point to the truth; He is the Truth. He did not come to talk about life; He is the Life. Moses pointed to the law, Mohammed pointed to the Qur’an, Confucius to the Analects, Buddha to the Noble Eightfold Path. Jesus, however, pointed to Himself. Here, infinite authority or infinite audacity speaks.” Selwyn Hughes

Yup, these are just some of the astounding truths and concepts that I've gleaned from Ravi Zacharias and my other apologetic mentors.

But few come close to Ravi for his keenness of speech, integrity of lifestyle and love for the individual. For that, his absence will always weigh heavily on our mortal hearts.

I shall end this post with the same words I used in my Instagram tribute post to him "Though the closest I ever got to meeting you was at a church conference in Shanghai some 7 years ago, I know I'll have an entire eternity to get to know you. See you soon Ravi."

View this post on Instagram

I first read "Can Man Live Without God" back in 2009 and was blown away by the quality of your questions & discourse. #Atheism, #naturalism, #rationalism, #nihilism & all other scientific, #religious & #secular #worldviews died for good under your microscope of thought. #ThankYouRavi for leaving an indelible mark on my faith by anchoring it in sound logic & reason. You framed up the idea of truth & how to test it. You taught me how to think. Your fierce questions & cogent arguments made #Christianity no longer just a bunch of old stories from an old book that old pastors preach from; you made it glaringly true - that Christianity is the best & only answer to life's maladies. I watched your video debates in universities & conferences & you always answer with a quote from a respected scientist/philosopher/poet before addressing the questioner with respect and love. You stayed true to your principle of "we're not just answering a question; we're answering a questioner..you've got to gradually put your arm around the questioner, so to speak. There's no point in winning an argument while losing the questioner." Top class. Most importantly, your life mirrors your message & it narrates a powerful story of God's love, grace & faithfulness. You're truly a picture of Apostle Paul - Vigorously defending & presenting the Gospel in universities, big conferences and even in presidential addresses - just like Paul did in Acts - in the marketplaces, in the synagogues and in podiums before kings & rulers in Rome. So thank you Ravi, for being a hero of the faith & someone I can look up to in such decadent times where truth is subjective & everyone is living for themselves. I pray that this social media explosion of #tributes to you will catch the attention of pre-believers & may they watch your debates, read your books & discover Jesus in a mind-blowing-Ravi-Zacharias fashion. Though the closest I ever got to meeting you was at a church conference in Shanghai some 7 years ago, I know I'll have an entire eternity to get to know you. See you soon @ravizacharias #ravizacharias 🙏🏼🙌🏼

A post shared by Jonavan Lee 😎 (@jonavanlee) on May 19, 2020 at 8:44pm PDT

"Death is either a full stop or a comma. In the Christian worldview, it is a comma. There is for the Christian both the passing of all things and the abiding in Christ's provision. That's the reality of Easter."

Farewell Ravi. Till we meet again. This comma shouldn't be long :')