Reflections 2020: My first "ministry" in Hope Church

God's never done with just landing you in a church - that's just the first step; where the potter plonks a pile of clay onto his pottery wheel. You can read about how I got yanked onto the "pottery wheel" here: https://historymakers-jonnyboy.blogspot.com/2020/05/reflections-2020-how-god-led-me-to-hope.html

In Hope church they have 4 steps called the "ABCD"

• Acknowledge Jesus as your Lord & Saviour
• Belong to a local church
• Contribute to God's work
• Disciple others to follow Jesus

Now that I was well-settled-down with my LG in Hope church, I am deemed to have completed steps "A" and "B". But, I wasn't keen on moving on to step "C" as yet. Why? Partly because I'm lazy and mainly because I've my reservations ಠ~ಠ

I have served in church for the longest time. I know how it works. I know the different kinds of Christians that I'll encounter. In fact, I was serving in high-capacity in 6 ministries in my first church until God called me to step down because I was too used to it (and more)! He did a powerful work in my life through that season and I'm glad that it was ranked #9 most read article for all of Thir.st's 2019 publications.

You can read more about my story by clicking the screenshot.

But I also know that it is through serving in church that you truly integrate into the body of Christ. God works through the struggles, the friction and the victories that you will accomplish throughout your time in ministry and that's where you will see growth in your spiritual life. After all James says it quite clearly: 

James 2:17 "...Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead"
James 2:24 "You see then that a man is justified by works, and not by faith only."

 
I knew that serving in church is the byproduct of my relationship with God. But, I felt that it wasn't time yet? Until and unless God tugs at my heart to return to the battlefield, I'd like to stay in-camp in the comfort of my bunk. LOL.

So, God then began His tugging. As I got introduced to many other friends in church, they will always ask "So, what ministry are you serving in?" and I'll be like "I'm serving in my LG as a guitarist" and they'll be like "Oh that's great! But that's not a ministry" and I'll be like "IKR. See how it goes (ʘ‿ʘ)"

This happened SUPER REGULARLY and I knew God was using these irritating conversations to poke me into action. But, my lazy ass still wouldn't do anything as yet. So, God decided to increase His nudging intensity.

I remember during one of the BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) sessions, 1 Peter 4 was referenced during the lecture/discussion. When I read verse 10, I felt a heavy conviction and a sense of guilt befall me.

1 Peter 4:10 (NIV) "Each of you should use whatever gift you have received

to serve others, as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms."

Right there and then my heart broke and I was filled with a mix of sadness & guilt as I realized that because I've not been using my gifts that I am endowed with, I'm being an UNfaithful steward.

With my BSF group mates in Bethesda Chapel \ (•◡•) /

That was a God-moment for me. It felt like the entire hall of about 400 BSF-ers in Bethesda Chapel went silent as these words of Scripture jumped out at me.

I knew there and then God is calling me back to the battlefield. But Lord, where? Where shall I serve in? Shall I join a ministry that is in need of people? Or should I join a ministry that maximizes my gifts & talents? That question was answered in the coming Sunday service.

In the following weeks after this God-filled BSF moment, God spoke through an unexpected segment in the service - the video announcements. LOL.

There was an open casting call for actors in the coming 2017 Christmas drama production! My LGL and LG mates sitting beside me straight away turned to me and poked me saying "Eh, you should go for this! Very suitable for you!" LOL.

I laughed when they nudged me. And then I remembered that it was through the Christmas 2016 (themed "The Great Unexpectation") drama production "Train to Bishan" that brought me back to the house of God. I recalled how mind-blown I was by that skit and I'm like "Yeah, maybe I want to be a part of this too!"

Putting this picture here again of the stage set-up for the "Train to Bishan" skit

But I was still apprehensive. I just officially joined Hope church in Tampines East 9 for like 2 months? I'm a newcomer here still and I don't think I'm ready for such a big role in church.

I also haven't acted in a drama skit for like nearly a decade? All the different excuses & reservations were bubbling in my mind but then I began adding things up:

1. God's been using irritating conversations like "So, what ministry are you in?" with well-meaning church mates to call me back to serve
2. God spoke to me during my BSF session via 1 Peter 4:10 very clearly
3. My LGL and LG mates are encouraging me to serve in this role

And I'm like, ok God, I don't need a 4th encounter. I'm doing it. So, off I went to sign up for auditions. At the back of my mind I was thinking "No harm ma, I might fail the audition anyway"

Surprisingly, the auditions were held in Burger King at Kitchener Complex - near church. It was a really chill setting. I sat down and had a really chill conversation with Timothy Ong the drama director and Adria Tham one of the drama team members.

After the pleasantries and long introduction, they asked me to read some lines from the script and that's it! No wonder it could be done at Burger King! I thought I'd have to act in front of the BK customers or something and make them lose their appetite for dinner. LOL.

BK audition done! They told me I'll be informed of their decision in a few weeks' time, after everyone has been auditioned.

I guess you know what happens next. If I didn't pass the audition, there'd be no blog post ain't it? HAHA. So yeah, I passed the audition and I got the role as a gangster named "Noel". Yeah, you read that right, gangster. L. O. L. (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)

Say hi to pai kia "Noel" (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)

As you can see from the photo above, I'm only involved in 1 scene - scene number 4, so no biggie. But hey, I'm finally servin' da Lord! LOL.

The rest of my Q4 was packed with script rehearsals, acting rehearsals, lights plot, stage plot, stage rehearsals, full dress rehearsals and finally D-DAY. It was time-consuming, but rewarding. Rewarding because through all these rehearsals and time spent together, I got to know my fellow brothers & sisters in Christ much more intimately.

The stage layout for 1 out of 9 scenes

We don't just meet to do rehearsals. We usually meet for dinner before the rehearsals and we also meet to have sharing sessions where we play games, sing worship songs and really pray for the upcoming evangelistic production. It's like LG, but on a project basis.

It is through these meetings that I hear the many stories of faith behind these actors & actresses and am truly very moved by all of their heartfelt sharing. Through these stories my faith is strengthened because I know that God is doing His work evidently in not just my life, but in the lives of these good bros & sistas around me.

One of the meetings we had where we play games and really shared about how God led us to join this production

All these stories remind me that God is a person. He is intimately speaking to each and everyone one of us and changing our lives in very real ways. It's no longer just a concept or a figure of speech to say "God has changed my life" when you can match that statement to a face - to a person, a friend that you personally know. It's totally different. That's what makes testimonies so powerful.

Let me share with you 2 of the most powerful testimonies I heard. First up is Christine: mother of 4 kids (if I remember correctly LOL).

Real-life mom and also acting mom in the production

Most people would see her 3 kids, but few would've seen her 4th. Because he's bed-ridden. He was born with some sort of disease that left him in this state. So, he's been stuck to his bed ever since birth.

As any parent would, Christine was heartbroken and upset with God. She would cry and be angry with God for months following his birth. She prayed and asked God to heal her kid but her only answer was the deafening silence from above.

Over time, she slowly surrendered her burden to God and miraculously, He provided for her family and filled them with much peace. Maybe, after all, it is part of God's plan.

I saw the pain in her eyes and also felt the peaceful surrender in her soul. This is a faith that's so profound that only if you live through it, then can you fully own it.

Let me now introduce you to the protagonist of this drama - Kelvin. His stage name and real name are pronounced the same but spelt differently LOL. On stage, he is Calvin. HAHA. He only appears in the later scenes as he is playing the older version of Calvin.

Kelvin - the older version that appears in the latter part of the play

I was hitching a ride to church in his car and that's when we had a nice chat and I uncovered his story of faith. He had an affair. "Wait what? This is story of faith?" might be your first reaction. But yes, he had an affair, and then had a divorce. Then, he lived with his new lover.

If you're not getting where the "story of faith" is, stick with me. LOL. From there, God convicted him and he fell sick I think. Then he went back to his wife, apologized, made amends with his wife and they got re-married!

They're both now happily married, TWICE, and leading an LG together in Hope church! What an incredible story of repentance & forgiveness! Without the Holy Spirit's jibes and guidance, I think the story would've turned out differently.

There are many more powerful testimonies amongst the cast members but these 2 impacted me most. To know that I'm acting with spiritual giants of the faith makes this whole acting thing much less plastic - because I know they're not just my acting "colleagues", but they are living testimonies of God's power and work in our lives.

Of course, beyond the chit-chat and HTHTs there is also the serious hours of rehearsals that we all put in - establishing of our character's depth, getting into character, vocal & facial warm-ups, mini skits, etc.

One of our backstage rehearsal moments. From left: Me (Noel), Wei Yeat (Young Calvin) & Chin Teck (Wing)

From the photo above, you could tell that Chin Teck and I are dominating Wei Yeat. LOL, We're actually bad friends that influence him to club, smoke and do bad stuff basically. We're the BAD GUYS. LOL.

One of the many on-stage rehearsals. See the cigarettes in our hands? Yeah. Doing em' bad-guy stuff. HAHA

Talking about cigarettes, there's this funny story behind it where I nearly made an LG backslide HAHA. Here's the story in 4 Instagram chat screenshots from my LG mate Siqi:

The cigarette-bad-guy story

Not sure if you managed to read the above. If you're reading this post on mobile then probably you won't be able to see the words, so lemme narrate...

I was going to church for stage rehearsals I think and I was holding my prop - cigarette pack. It's a legit cigarette pack. The cigarettes? Of course they're not real LOL. They're stage-cigarettes.

Basically you can fill the stick with some fine powder and when you blow into it, the fine powder flies out and it really looks like smoke coming outta the cig. Pretty legit prop I must say. Here's a close-up of it:

Shot glasses and stage-cigarette props for da bad guys ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿

Back to the story...I entered church with my pack of cigarettes, walked pass an LG who saw me with the cigs and were shook, thinking I'm some outsider heading to the staircase exit for a smoke. LOL.

And they said I had bad-guy vibes (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) Like seriously? I do? LOL. Oh well, since a total stranger said I do, I guess I do then LOL ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з= ( ▀ ͜͞ʖ▀) =ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿

That was just another stage rehearsal in the sea of countless no. of rehearsals. Well, that's what happens when you have a cast size of 11 people. I heard from the drama lao jiaos that this is the largest no. of actors they've casted in a single production. Wew. ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

Yet another stage rehearsal - things are starting to take shape

I realized that at this juncture, if you didn't come for the Christmas drama, you'd have no idea what the story is about. 做么你没来咧？Better come for this year's one ah! HMU! LOL.

Anyway, this Christmas 2017 production is called "My Crappy Christmas" and it revolves around the protagonist, Calvin...Or Kelvin as you've been introduced. Why is Christmas "crappy"? Because every memory of Christmas for Calvin, is a sad one.

"My Crappy Christmas" e-flyer invite

This production starts with the old Calvin telling the audience via a first-person video recording that he is doing this video monologue to remember his past and this may well be his last video he'll ever take. He then goes on to flashback to the first scene - his secondary school days.

The scenes portray his interactions with his mum, LAN-gaming with his friends and getting his first taste of rejection by his friends because he is a LAN-gaming noob. LOL. The sound effects, lighting, backstage dynamic graphics really makes you feel for Calvin.

It then goes on to the phase of Calvin's life - his NS (National Service) days in the army. THAT'S MY SCENE. LOL. This is where he mixes with bad company - his ah-beng, gangster-ish, bad-guy army friends Noel & Wing.

From left: Wei Yeat (Calvin), Chin Teck (Wing) and myself (Noel)

We brought him clubbing, smoking and it escalated to introducing him to drugs. It was a dark phase of life for Calvin. But, he outgrew it and went on to study in university and then landed in a well-paying job in a finance & investments company - just like any average Singaporean boy would.

The production then introduces another set of casts as Calvin enters into the workforce. Here, it portrays the perils of working life - bitchy colleagues, office-romance (sort of), demanding bosses and clients, work screw-ups and it ended up with him not being able to enjoy his Christmas holidays because he had to rush finish a report which had a critical error in it.

Group photo with the cast on stage during one of the rehearsals

As with each scene's ending, his monologue video will play on screen. While the stage set-up is being changed in the darkness, the bright screen shows Calvin telling us about his next Christmas experience - one with his lover.

I think the scenes here are the most emotional because it shows the sweetness of his courtship with his girlfriend, and then it transitions to the many fights, disagreements and it climaxed when they were unable to conceive.

I think this is one of the last few full-dress rehearsals

The next scene then portrayed the mundanity of marriage-life where it revealed a little bit of his ailing health condition. Halfway through that Christmas dinner with his wife, he had a heart attack. But he brushed it off and the scene ended sweetly with them inviting each other to dance.

Here the story wraps up. The video monologue of him talking to the camera lights up the entire auditorium again...and then he tells us that he has a late stage 3 cancer. He didn't tell his wife. And he's not sure if he'll make it till Christmas this year. So, he recorded this video just in case ಥ_ಥ

Now the audience knows that this whole story is the flashback of a dying man recalling his crappy Christmases in the past and how he might not be alive till Christmas this year.

I love how the scenes portray the average Singaporean life's journey - school, NS, university, work, marriage and then death. It makes you laugh and wince because it's so real, so accurate, so YOU.

This production poses a very important question - what's life about? Is that all there is to life? As I sit here dying of cancer, looking back at my crappy, meaningless, insignificant life...my soul aches for more. It hopes, it wishes, IT KNOWS that there is something more than this.

The scene ends with all the cast members progressively entering the scene while singing the different lines of "All I want for Christmas is LOVE". Yes, we edited the lyrics of the song. Sorry Mariah Carey. LOL.

The classic curtain call pose of most productions, where all the cast members line-up before the final bow

That's it. That was the production. We're done! Wew. But we had to do 3 acts. LOL. So the photo above is just 1 of the 3 times we did that pose. LOL

As with every Christian drama production, after the play is the sermon. So in walks senior pastor Jeffery Chong and asks the audience for another huge round of applause for the drama team before he begins his evangelistic discourse.

Feedback for the drama was good of course. Heard stories of people tearing as they watched this production. Which is great! But I hope that beyond the tears, there will be a turning of hearts towards God.

Group photo of the drama crew after 1 of the 3 acts. Or is this taken right after we're done with our last act? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

In spite of the good feedback, I felt that this drama production didn't blow my mind like the "Train to Bishan" Christmas production in 2016.

Why? Mainly because the script wasn't centred around a real-life story like Yolanda. If the story took a turn and we suddenly told you that this story is the true story of a member in our church, then dayum I'd be mindblown again I guess.

Because the audience enters the church and sits down, expecting just another fictional portrayal of the Christmas message. But when fiction becomes reality, BAM, that's where it blows your mind. This element was missing this time which is why I felt it wasn't as good.

But oh well, newcomers who walked in the doors of church without any expectation in mind would still be mindblown somewhat I believe. The lights, sounds, stage effects, acting, lines and most importantly, the Holy Spirit should've dealt a nice blow to their heart of hearts.

"MY CRAPPY CHRISTMAS" drama crew \ (•◡•) /

Also really thankful that many of my friends came to support my acting (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ Especially my pre-believing friends (づ｡◕‿◕｡)づ I believe that the Holy Spirit has sown a seed of salvation in your hearts that will in time bear fruit (◕‿◕)

 

Thanks for your support Mag, Ryan & friend! And of course love ya too Siqi + Yan Xiang (♥‿♥)

Thanks for coming Abigail + Sherman! Get married soon! LOL

Yay thanks girls for coming to support me! From left (excluding Siqi LOL): Mabelline, Joy Xuanni, Chae Yun & Chae Huah!

Photo no. 2, more formal now cos both our LGLs joined the pic HAHA. Thanks Joe & Yiqin for your Godly leadership!

To wrap up this entire Christmas 2017 beautifully and noisily, we had a final Christmas gathering with the entire drama production crew at Eugene's place ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪

We played charades and all sorts of other acting & guessing games and the noise level was just INSANE. Here's one of the funniest clips (to me) of that night.

Alvin was so excited that he shouted "DES-POTATO" instead of "DESPACITO" LOLOLOL. I still ROFL every time I watch this vid HAHA.

Clockwise from Chin Teck's (photographer's) left: Henry, Timothy, Sherilyn, Adria, Dorling, Eugene (thanks for opening your place!), Sherry, Popo, Kelvin, Christine, Alvin, Wei Song, Wei Yeat, Karmen!

Handwritten notes for each other!

We ended the night sweetly by playing this write-each-other-a-note activity. Everyone's given a piece of paper and we're to write our name on it - that means that the piece of paper belongs to us. After that, we're to pass the paper to the next person & they'll write a note to you. You pass the paper round until everyone has written something for everyone! Sho shweet right? LOL. I still have this paper somewhere in my stash of cards hehe (ᵔᴥᵔ)

What a way to end the year! Really got to make many new friends through this drama production and I pray that we'll all continue to make a dramatic (pun totally intended) impact on the pre-believing friends & family members around us (ง'̀-'́)ง

Thank You Jesus for 2017! Thank You for pursuing and leading me to where I am today. Thank You Lord for this opportunity to serve on stage again.

My instagram shout-out aka open-jio LEL

Come to think of it, it was really unlikely that I got any role in this production because I was only a few months' old member in Hope church. In fact, during one of the rehearsals, when I was having a chat with a few cast members and we're talking about how we got to Hope church - they were shocked when they learned that I am only a frequent member for a few months.

One of them even said "Whoa, you just joined the church and you're already taking on such a visible role on stage? Got cleared by your leaders already not?" LOLOL. It's true. It's a legit concern that'd I'd have brought up too. But yeah, my leaders gave me a good word and approved my performance debut. Haha.

Yup, that's how I first served in a "ministry". I use inverted commas because I didn't officially join the drama ministry - I'm just a cast member. The ministry members are the ones who drafted the script, do the casting calls, schedule the rehearsals, whip us actors into shape and ensure everything happens according to plan.

Feature photo of Christmas 2017 on Hope Singapore's website...AND MY EYES ARE CLOSED (一_一)

In fact now, the drama ministry has been disbanded because the church's focus is now on video productions - not so much of live acting anymore.

Talking about video productions, never knew that I'd be involved as the lead actor for Christmas 2019. Will write more about that when I've got the time to do more reflection. Hehe. For now, lemme end this post with the video of the entire drama production below.

I only appear from 10:40 to 16:03. Only about 5mins of acting but we had about 10 weeks of rehearsals! This Chinese adage never ringed this true to me until now "台上十分钟，台下十年功"

Reflections 2020: How God led me to Hope Church Singapore

Thank you, Covid-19, for pulling me back indoors so that I have time to ponder and write again. Many have asked me how did I land up in Hope Church Singapore and I always struggle to give a concise answer; simply because there were so many things that happened in sovereign succession that led me to where I am in Hope Singapore today.

Let me flip the pages of my memories and attempt to paint you a comprehensive picture of God's grace and also hope to reveal a little bit of how He writes His story.

Rewind back to 2015, when I just left Heart of God Church - you can read more about it here - https://historymakers-jonnyboy.blogspot.com/2015/01/my-heart-of-god-church-experience.html

I was working in People's Association (PA) then which involved me working weekends, so my usual weekend time-slot meant for church was now given to the government. Since my weekends were occupied with work - a legit reason not to go church - I became a church-less Christian for about 2 years.

I did church-hop during those 2 wilderness years of my journey of faith but it's fundamentally different from actually settling down in a church, joining a life/cell group, serving in the church and growing with the community that God placed you in. So, I'd count that whole period as "church-less". Haha.

But God was orchestrating my return to His community of believers. It began in 26 Oct 2016 through His (cute) servant cum child of God, Nicole Han. If you're wondering how do I even remember the exact date - there ya go, a WhatsApp screenshot.

Wild Nicole popped up in my WhatsApp after 3 years!

Yeah you saw that right, we knew each other since 2013 and we had very fond memories because we met while on our university exchange programme - in Shanghai, China. Here's a (cute) photo of her (and me) outside Thanksgiving English Fellowship (TEF) church in Shanghai - a church which we attended during our 6-month exchange stint.

Outside Thanksgiving English Fellowship Church (TEFC) - our Shanghai church during our 6 month exchange

She's cute right? I shall not bracket that anymore HAHA. That was my first reaction when I saw her actually. HAHA. Guys in Hope Church, you still got chance ok? As of now I think she's still single 😆 But the key to her heart is in God's hands my dear brothers - she is indeed a very spiritual woman-of-God whom I deeply respect. In short, you gotta find God first, get the key (to her heart, that's in God's hands) from Him, then you got chance. HAHA

Ok cute-ness aside, she's actually studying in SMU (Singapore Management University) while I was studying in NTU (Nanyang Technological University). We were both from different universities and on different exchange programs! So how on earth did we meet?

Let me now introduce you to our (also cute) mutual friend, Jaslyn Wong. We go way back to our youth-hood days in Bethel Assembly of God's Youth Alive - the church I grew up in. That's how we knew each other.

One of the first few photos we took in Shanghai

My NTU exchange in Shanghai started a few months earlier than SMU's. So about 1-2 months into my exchange, Jaslyn's mom, Aunty Lay Hoon, texts me and asks me to help her daughter find accommodation in Shanghai.

I tried but failed. LOL. The apartment I was staying in, is handed down from our seniors, so I have no idea how to go about finding an apartment to rent without getting scammed by these 中国人.

Anyhow, Jaslyn managed to rent an apartment with the help of another friend who's working in Shanghai. So when she touched down, we all met up and that's how I got to know Nicole Han.

With the SMU clique at Uncle Ronnie's house. Good times.

Uncle Ronnie and Uncle Coleman as mentioned in the chat above are church members in TEFC (Thanksgiving English Fellowship Church) - and we are in their cell group. Photo above is where we had dinner at Uncle Ronnie's place.

Group photo again with the SMU peeps with Uncle Ronnie and wife ( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ ) This is our last get-together before our exchange semester was over༼ つ ಥ_ಥ ༽つ

Last cell group gathering in Shanghai ಥ_ಥ

Alright, let me stop reminiscing those carefree university-exchange days in Shanghai, if not I'd be pouring out a truckload of photos. HAHA.

In summary, Nicole and I met during exchange in Shanghai through a mutual friend, Jaslyn. Finish. HAHA.

After our exchange program ended in Jun/Jul 2013, it was back to school and life went back to normal - Nicole would continue her course in SMU and I would go on to finish mine in NTU, and we would never meet again. Or so I thought.

Our convo blossomed into quite a long one

Our WhatsApp conversation then progresses with me telling her that I'm church-less. Like any good Christian girl, she instinctively invites me to her church - Hope Singapore.

But at that time, I was still pretty jaded with church, since the 1st and 2nd church that I attended have left me bruised. You can read more about that in my Thir.st-featured article here: https://thir.st/blog/the-church-is-not-perfect-but-it-is-beautiful/

With my jadedness with the church came the defensive questions below. Questions that pin-pointed the key things that I didn't like in Heart of God Church

She gave a beautiful response. And she's not the Life Group Leader (LGL). But I could hear her hope and I could feel her gentle invitation to come back to church.

She then proceeds to invite me many times to church and LG (life group; aka cell/church/connect group) but time and again I wouldn't be free due to work.

For once, I'm the "pre-believer" being invited by my Christian friend to church. HAHA. What a role-reversal! LOL. Now I know how it feels like to be invited to church again and again. It isn't a bad feeling really. In fact, it kinda makes me feel wanted - like I'm some big shot and you want my presence. LOL. I hope that's what my friends feel when I invite them relentlessly (^̮^)

With each rejection, I felt bad-er / paiseh-er / guilty-er. I think I wasn't free or didn't turn up for like 3-4 times? As per WhatsApp screenshot below. HAHA. But, finally, I made it. I visited Hope Church and hung out with her LG after service.

Nicole's persistent invite (ง'̀-'́)ง

What she didn't know is that, during my 2-year churchless-wilderness season, I did church-hop for a bit and then gave up totally because those visits didn't re-ignite my love and passion for God.

So I actually told God:
"I'm not going to try to come back to church anymore. I don't want to do it in my own strength and in my own timing.
If you want me back in church, I believe You will bring me back in your own fashion and perfect timing."

Therefore, I wasn't even trying to fit God into my schedule. That's why whenever work stuff pops up, I'd choose work over church - and that resulted in me rejecting Nicole's invite for like 4-5 times?

But bless her heart because she was RELENTLESS. She invited me every week without fail until I came to church. I believe that is the heart of God - He is always gently inviting us and waiting for us to come back to Him like in the parable of the Prodigal Son.

So I attended Hope Church with Nicole Han and her LG for a few weeks, but I didn't connect that well with them though.

Me snapchat-ing one of Hope Church's services

Because her LG members are mostly graduates from Australian universities and they were mostly talking and chatting with their Aussie accent (some of 'em HAHA) about their experiences in Australia and stuff.

And here I am, an NTU graduate with a totally different university experience trying to mingle. Picture that. For 3-4 weeks that I went. Yep.

So, eventually, I stopped going to Hope Church

BUT, Nicole's invite didn't stop. She's truly a warrior of the faith. We need more Christians like her. Really.

I decided to go to Hope Church for one last time in December 2016 for the Christmas service - the most boomz time of the year to go to church; because that's when they'll put on their best show - extravagant productions and heart-wrenching video testimonies and all. LOL. Yes, I have in fact been a part of all these in my 30 years of being a Christian.

Before going for my "last" service in Hope Church, I told God:
"I will ONLY stay in Hope Church IF You meet me there during service"

And so I went, for what became the most powerful service for me in 2 years of being church-less. It was unexpected - because I've been there for like 4 times already with Nicole Han's LG.

And the funny part is - the theme of the Christmas service is "The Great Unexpectation". Pretty fitting theme in my opinion. HAHA.

I was blown away by the Christmas drama production. The skit was called "Train to Bishan" - a witty adaptation of the title of the popular "Train to Busan", Korean zombie-horror movie that year.

I still remember the drama vividly. It starts with a scene of an MRT train cabin with 3 or 4 characters on it. (By the way, the graphics of the MRT train and sound effects were super on-point.) Then the MRT train breaks down and the passengers start worrying about their personal consequences.

So the spotlight shines on the student (while the rest of the cast freezes in the dark) and the student begins to share about how he will be late for his exams, fail it, and not make it to the university of his dreams. Because of that, he will not meet his well-educated & pretty university girlfriend and will not get married...and there will be no kids for his parents to hug.

The exaggerated lines and acting drew huge guffaws from the congregation. It's funny because those worries are true - or rather, it reflects the worry of every Singaporean and poses the question "What if I don't make the societal norm?"

The spotlight then shifted to this girl in her 20s who got a call on the train from the doctor telling her she had cancer. Her whole world came crashing down right in the midst of the MRT breakdown.

Then the spotlight shifted to the other characters and they discharged their script and acting flawlessly. (I can't remember what the rest said LOL)

After the drama skit was done, a huge round of applause followed and senior pastor Jeffrey Chong walks up to the stage and delivers his sermon powerfully.

His sermons are always salted with a lot of jokes and peppered with a lot of relatable stories and illustrations.

At this juncture, I was already mind-blown by the drama production and the simple-yet-cutting sermon...But I wasn't prepared for the final blow.

My snapchat of the stage scene after the drama production

With his hands clasped, Ps Jeff then asked the audience "you remember the girl in the skit that got cancer? It's a true story. Here is her testimony..." He then walks off stage and this testimony-documentary starts playing.

I was rekt. You can read more about her story below at the URL and watch the 2 videos featuring her story below. Take a tissue box with ya.

https://thir.st/blog/planning-get-married-got-cancer/

The other video testimony made by Hope Church Singapore, which I feel is more moving, is in the URL below. I'm not sure why the Facebook embed code doesn't work. Probably because Google doesn't like Facebook. LOL.
https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=1342318445821927

After being rekt emotionally by the video testimony, I was also rekt spiritually by the altar call. As they were singing the worship songs, tears just cascaded down my face as the Holy Spirit came and paid me a visit right there and then.

He took me back in time as I was standing there sobbing with my eyes shut: I saw an impression of myself in my younger days, kneeling in the prayer room of my first church - Bethel Assembly of God. And scene after scene flashed past my mind from then till where I am now and I felt that the Holy Spirit was trying to tell me "I am with you through it all".

At that instant, I knew God had answered my earlier statement to Him
"I will stay in Hope Church ONLY if You meet me there during service"

And there He was. Right here. Assuring me that He is the God of my yesterdays, the God of my today and the God of my forever. I knew right there and then that Hope Church is where He wanted me to be.

Right after that service, it was business as usual - lunch with Nicole Han's LG, head home, sleep and prepare for the upcoming Christmas events at Tampines North CC and get on with the daily grind.

Then came the new year. Yay. I didn't go back to church at all ever since 2017 began. Then came Feb 2017 and I was kinda missing Nicole's invitation to church. Yeah, she stopped inviting me already. Haha. Guess her transition to working life and adults service sapped her energy and time. So this time, I took the initiative. LOL.

Just when I started taking baby steps to go church, my Hope Church momma wasn't around sobs ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

But this was exactly in God's plan. He knew that I didn't fit in well with Nicole's LG so He led me to another.

This "uni friend of mine" that asked me to bring him to Hope Church was my NTU ODAC junior. I knew another of my ODAC junior attending Hope Church so I contacted her and I finally stepped back into Hope Church again in Apr 2017.

April 2017. That was 3 months after my big encounter with God in Hope Church's Christmas 2016 service.

So, technically, you can say that I left Hope Church, AGAIN, for 3+ months. LOL.

Anyway, that NTU ODAC junior friend of mine in Hope Church is Gillian Wong. Here's a GIF of her to properly introduce her to you HAHA (~˘▾˘)~

Snapchat vid I took during one of the Saturday services we attended

She then introduced me to her NTU life group (LG) and I got on well with them. Conversations flowed freely as we talked about our university life and experiences.

I also met up with another key person in my journey to staying in Hope church - Gillian's LGL (Life Group Leader) - Siqi Wong.

These 2 Wongs - Gillian and Siqi Wong - were the final 2 ladies (not counting Zinky that is LOL) the good Lord used to plant me in Hope church.

Since I was comfortable with this NTU LG, I began going to church more regularly as I now have a community of friends to look forward to meeting and also a bunch of believers to check-in on me whenever I didn't turn up for church. Haha.

Some of the NTU LG members came to support my emcee stint in Steword's Riverboat restaurant!
From left: Gillian, Ming Xuan, Yan Xiang, Me, Ernie, Elvis

I truly enjoyed this LG's energy, joy and love for each other. I even had a sleepover with them at Ernie's aunt's house. There we played games, played pool and watched movie till we all KO-ed one by one. Haha. I managed to dig out the snapchat video of it LOL.

I was "planted enough" until I even brought friends to Hope church! One of them, my NTU ODAC junior, Shan Wen, is still in my LG today! Here's a pic of one the first few times she came to Hope church:

From left: Gillian, Shan Wen, Me and Elvis (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ Fun fact: Like me, Shan Wen used to attend Heart of God Church too

Just when I thought things were going well, and my journey in Hope church is firm and on-track now, guess what? 

This NTU LG will be disbanded...

...Or rather, the LG will be re-grouped because after May, several of the LG members will be graduating from NTU and moving on to adults service.

To follow Gillian to her new NTU LG will be weird because...all the undergrads will be intro-ing themselves, saying their year in NTU and course of study and I'll be like:

Jon: Hi I'm Jonavan, EEE year 7. (ʘ‿ʘ)

NTU LG members: (⚆ _ ⚆) (◉_◉) (ಠ_ಠ)

Life Group Leader: Hmm, shouldn't you be in adults service then?

Also, the NTU LGs have their life group meetings in NTU itself...so for me to travel all the way from Tampines to Pulau NTU for a 2-hour LG is insane.

With that, I told the NTU LG that I'll send an SMS to Hope church's system for them to randomly assign me to a young adult's LG in Tampines. They were all supportive and told me to keep them posted - in case that doesn't land me in an LG that is suitable for me. Aww, such good follow-up from everyone - not just the leaders (^̮^)

Not long after I sent the SMS, an LGL leading one of the Tampines young adults life group contacted me. We had a nice chat, but to my horror...their LG meets every Wednesday night. Wednesday nights are my night shift slot (1pm-10pm). Yes, I was still working in People's Association, Tampines North CC at that time.

This means that I'm unable to join them for LG.
Which is equivalent to not being able to join their LG

At this juncture, I'm like "赢了咯! You see ah God, don't say I never try ah. You tell me Hope church is the place for me ok swee. First, I try Nicole Han's LG for a few months then buey sai. Second, I go Gillian Wong's NTU LG I ok with...最后 needa disband then also buey sai. Third, now Hope church system assign me the LG ALSO BUEY SAI. Wa. 真的赢了咯!"

This is where the 2nd "Wong" stepped in to save the day - Ms. Siqi Wong. She WhatsApp-ed me at a divine timing:

You can say that from here onwards, the rest is history. I met up with the other 3 LG members - yes it was a newly-formed life group - we had a nice chat and from there, grew in number. Here's the group photo of my very first time attending Hope church's LG:

From left: Ruo Ting, Joseph Lee (aka Joe), Siqi Wong and me (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

At that time our LG is called Tampines 9 if I remember correctly. Haha. It's already 3 years since our very first LG meeting! Wew. We were all young adults staying in Tampines and most of us have just descended into this deep, dark abyss called "the working world".

From there, more young adults that just graduated from uni or looking for a life group in the east joined our LG.

Next addition was Nicole followed by Yi Qin (who later became our LGL) (づ｡◕‿◕｡)づ

More and more people were joining our LG. Some of us brought our friends, some were new transfers from the university groups and some are new believers that just joined Hope church. Reminds me of the bible verse in Acts 2:47b "...And the Lord added to the church daily those who were being saved."

Our original Tampines 9 LG evolved into Tampines East 5!

I was once again planted in the body of Christ - this time in Hope church. And thanks to Covid-19, I now have the time to look back and remember how it was all so different just 3 years ago for me - where I was jaded with the church and filling up my weekends with my work in PA and also my work as an emcee and performer for events.

Another group photo with TE5 at Changi Jewel's Rain Vortex (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ

Yes I was making good money in PA and from doing my freelance hosting, but all those burnt weekends - devoid of not just social but spiritual activity - was killing the man inside of me.

To my Facebook friends, colleagues and acquaintances, it looked like I was doing well - always posting on Instagram, photos with Mr. Baey - my political boss in PA, photos of me hosting weddings, events and roadshows, photos of me traveling overseas, etc. but deep down, I was a soul that was bankrupt.

Bankrupt because I'm just like every other non-Christian, average Singaporean on the street - working hard, doing well, looking good, doing all the correct things a good citizen would. Invisible. Purposeless. Just another ephemeral face in the crowd.

We have worked ourselves numb. The daily grind has become the meaning of our existence. When people ask us "What are you doing now?", we smile, take a deep breath and say things like:

- "I'm a teacher in St. Hilda's Secondary School" (or any other government agency)
- "I'm an auditor in KPMG" (or any of the big four)
- "I'm a banker in DBS" (or any of the big banks with offices in Singapore)
- "I'm a design engineer in ST Electronics" (or any other engineering firms)
- "I'm a process engineer in Global Foundries" (or any other semiconductor firm)
- "I'm a financial advisor with Prudential" (or any other insurance or real estate firm)
- "I'm a structural engineer in Keppel FELS" (or any other oil & gas firm)
- "I'm in my 1st year of houseman-ship with SGH" (or any other healthcare firm)
- "I'm an associate attorney in Wong Partnership" (or any other law firm)
- "I'm an outdoor sales manager in DB Schenker" (or any other logistics firm)
- ...I could go on, you get the point.

We wear our jobs on our sleeves and become defined by what we are paid to do. Our identity has become so tied to our jobs that sometimes, we forget that we have a soul, that we have a spirit, that whatever we're doing isn't truly satisfying our being.

For those 2-3 church-less years, I was that bankrupt soul. I might be happy, but I wasn't joyful. I might be successful, but it wasn't significant. I'm just like any other Christ-less soul on the street.

Post-baptism group photo with one of our new members - Nicholas Poh! Like me, he was also from Heart of God church.

To be honest it's really easy to get carried away with the current (浪) of life. You just go day-by-day, working hard, grinding the 8-5, living life by default and not by design.

It takes a tragedy like Covid-19, or the death of your parent / boy(girl)friend / spouse / best friend, or a sickness like cancer, or an injury like a broken foot, or a break-up with your boyfriend/girlfriend, etc. to make us stop in our tracks and really look deep and assess what life is about.

So, when I stepped back into church and let the Holy Spirit speak, my Spirit-man awakens, and I begin to see with spiritual eyes - like Neo in the Matrix and like Truman when we walked out of the Truman Show set - I am woke, I come alive. And then we go on to share our experiences and grow together was a family, as a church, as a body of Christ.

Ever since I've been planted in Hope church, I've been serving again too. I help to lead worship, lead games, play the guitar for LG, I acted in 2 Christmas drama productions and I recently joined the worship team as an electric guitarist (again LOL) - I'll be writing more on these in a separate "reflections 2020" post.

All these sacrifices and offerings that we make in church might seem small and insignificant; but remember, they're not for the world to see, but for God to see - and He shall be the judge of our works.

Building God's eternal, unshakeable kingdom beats building my own transient, fragile kingdom hands-down, anytime. So, where else shall I be found? In the house of God.

So this is the story of how I landed up in Hope Church Singapore. And God's not finished yet.

Reflections 2020: My Thir.st-featured songs

It's been a long time since I've been back at my blog's empty canvas. It's now the Chinese New Year 2020 holidays and my boss (also my dad) declared the entire week a holiday. So here I am, looking back at my past few years.

I think one of the major highlights of my 2019 is my 2 songs that were featured on Thir.st. They are "All You Want Me To Do" and "The Church is not Perfect, but it's Beautiful". Here's the URLs in case you haven't seen it:

https://thir.st/blog/celebrity-leader/
https://thir.st/blog/the-church-is-not-perfect-but-it-is-beautiful/





I wrote "All You Want Me To Do" in April 2011 and "The Church is not Perfect, but it's Beautiful" in July 2012. Yeap, these songs were sittin' in my "My Songs" folder for nearly a decade before it got published. LOL.

So, you must be wondering, why and how did these songs suddenly re-surface?

Well, here's the story Thir.st didn't tell you.

It was some time in 2018 when our Life Group (LG) had a random steamboat gathering at one of our LG member's (George's) house at Parc Vera condominium. (I don't know why but the location just sprang up as I was typing so, let's keep it in the canvas HAHA)

As we were talking and cooking the food over our steamboat dinner, I think Ephraim (aka Yi Qin, our LGL then) mentioned that I should share some of the songs I wrote. So I would probably be like "Ok sure"

Once we were done steamboat-ing, we all sat around in a circle in George's living room and he passed me his classical guitar and I began to share my testimony about how these songs were birthed.

Seated on the sofa, I then began strumming and singing the 2 songs I wrote - "All You Want Me To Do" and "The Church is not Perfect, but it's Beautiful". I still have the raw video taken by one of my LG members in my phone LOL. I was decked in my colourful striped tee and topped with my colourful graffiti cap haha.

A few of us at the random steamboat sess @ George's house. We are TE5 Life Group of Hope Church Singapore!

After my "song pres", one of our LG members Siqi said "Ok I want to feature your two songs in Thir.st" And I think my reply would probably again be "Ok sure" HAHA

My LG mate Siqi works in Thir.st as a writer and project manager. So after that session, she decided to embark on this journey to cover my 2 songs. But this only happened about 6 months later when we actually started putting our intentions in our Google calendars.

From left: Me, Zi Ying and Siqi on the way to Bedok reservoir to shoot the MV for "All You Want Me To Do"

Here's the juicy part. I liked one of the girls in my LG. Her name is Zi Ying. She's a superb singer and yes she does singing gigs occasionally and sings for Hope Church regularly. So this was the perfect opportunity to get to know her better!

So, I got her to sing with me for the Thir.st recordings and videos. Of course, before the actual shoot and recordings, we had to meet up to practice XD So there ya go, plenty of dates with her.

Zi Ying and I. Photo taken by Siqi at BBTC, which was our rendezvous point before heading to Bedok Reservoir for the shoot. Yes, Thir.st is based in BBTC.

It was through this project that I really got to have a lot of 1-on-1 time with her on the pretext of preparing for the shoot and recording HAHA.

There were 2 major dates we had - One at Temasek Polytechnic (TP) and I think after that we went to eat Saveur at Century Square.

The other one was at my condo! We recorded the song at my place and then Siqi had to rush off to meet our other LG member - Nicole - leaving Zi Ying and myself alone. So considerate of you Siqi. HAHAHA!

So yes, thank you Siqi for playing a wonderful 媒婆 role unknowingly. HAHAHA.

Through these dates and other observations throughout the year, I realized I really loved this angel called Zi Ying. She's meek, humble, sacrificial, serving and yet poised, confident and has a super cute vibe where you feel like hugging her. LOL. Of course, above all, she's a Jesus-seeker, which is the deal-maker.

So yeah, one of the reasons why this Thir.st song feature project is so significant is because it sealed my love life. HAHA. Again, thank you Siqi, will get you to share a few words at our wedding no worries. HAHAHA

Group photo after finishing the shoot for "All You Want Me To Do" at Bedok Reservoir!

Jokes aside, Siqi really did put in a lot of effort into this project as well. Why? Because it's her first time doing a music video project. And with such amateur-ish equipment that we had, the result is really quite something. So, yep, thanks Siqi for your spirit of excellence!

Now that we're done with the behind-the-scenes story, let's take a look at the impact that these Thir.st articles had.

As a result of the publishing, several people wrote in to me on Facebook, on my blog, via email and even my instagram DM - or what my juniors called "Slide into your DM" LOL. They shared with me their many stories of being hurt by the church leaders and members and how the Holy Spirit used my song to touch them and remind them that He is in control.

MV shoot for "The Church is not Perfect, but it's Beautiful" right outside Bedok Mall

To all the folks who reached out to me, thank you. Thank you for reminding me too that God works through online sites like these to touch lives and change hearts as well :') I'm glad that my testimony has given you strength to continue on this journey to glory.

Initially I wanted to share screenshots of some of their stories - while blurring out their identities of course - but eventually I felt, that I might be infringing on their privacy. So yeah, shall leave these stories to be played in heaven's movie theatres then.

Time lapse screengrab from my GoPro of us in action for the shooting of "All You Want Me To Do"

Let's move on to the more measurable impact of my songs - social media.

Let's start with the more popular song "All You Want Me To Do". It had a lot of shares going round so Thir.st decided to boost it by making it a Sponsored Post. Because of this, the views and outreach was much more than my other song.

"All You Want Me To Do" outreach tally:

• Facebook post: 141 reacts, 119 shares, 3 comments
• Facebook video: 2k views, 8 shares, 1 comment (as at today)
• YouTube video: 2,466 views, 21 reacts, 3 comments (as at today)

"The Church is not Perfect, but it's Beautiful" outreach tally:

• Facebook video: 3.9k views, 24 shares, 1 comment (as at today)
• YouTube video: 700 views, 11 reacts, 1 comment (as at today)

The funny thing I found out from these numbers is that, even though they "sponsored post" my "All You Want Me To Do" song, the video still had lesser views than "The Church is not Perfect, but it's Beautiful". Strange. LOL.

Anyway, I'm thankful for the opportunity to share my personal songs on a more public scale and glad that it has touched lives and refreshed hearts.

Father may you continue to do Your mighty work through each and every one of us, however big or small, may we always be surrendered to Your leading. Selah.

Thir.st chair that we used for the MV shoots

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Jonavan Lee 😎 (@jonavanlee) on Jul 17, 2018 at 1:56am PDT

All You Want Me To Do

Will be writing my reflections of my song "All You Want Me To Do" sometime this year end after it was first published on Thir.st at the beginning of the year.

Video URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdmPpGbfbog
Article URL: https://thir.st/blog/celebrity-leader/

For now, here's the chord sheet of my song: